He loves me...He loves me not. Nevermind!~Clarissa

[VICTORIA ROMENZ]

Victoria walked down the halls of the dorms. She wasn't sure why but she needed to see Clair...

Ok maybe she was sure why but it wasn't the truth...

Anyway...What number was her dorm again?

Victoria distracted herself and hummed one of those strange tunes again.

What was that? She had heard so many songs in her lifetime but the tunes she had been humming she couldn't remember listening to. Maybe her mother had sang to her when she was little. Something twisted in her stomach.

She stopped humming and found Clarissa's door. The thoughts she had earlier came back. She just needed to borrow her...her what? Victoria never wore Clair's clothes because they made her dad frown... He hated when Victoria looked girly.

Maybe...She wasn't in any of Clair's classes right now. Ugh. Victoria lightly knocked on the door and said, "Hey Clair are you there?"

[CLARISSA RAMONE]

Clarissa had been ready to take a long, relaxing bath after her homework session. It was her usual Friday routine as she didn't have a last period. So, she'd use the time to catch up on everything. Then, she'd unwind with a nice bubble bath. This was her usual plan and, usually, nothing could stop her from this. Maybe if her parents were calling or Becky got back early. Other than that, though, it was just her. Something, though, was preventing her from getting up from her desk to go get the water ready. She was just staring out the window, watching as the snowflakes fell from the clouds to the ground. It was light but she wouldn't be surprised if they had a few inches the next day. Clarissa leaned back in her chair, thinking about the Snow Ball and how soon it was. She actually had a dress. Her mother had bought it for her who knows how long ago and it'd been hanging in the closet for who knows how long.

A sudden knock at the door shocked her out of her thinking. She wasn't going to answer it. That was her first thought, actually, as mean as that is. Clarissa didn't like answering the door. Especially when she had no idea who it was. Becky usually answered it and if she wasn't here… well, the person had to come back later. Clarissa wasn't one for interaction, after all. She knew who this was though as they were asking for her through the door. And calling her Clair. Her stomach churned as she pushed the chair back and stood. Victoria was one of the few that dared to call her that and the person at the door was definitely female. Clarissa approached the door and unlocked it before prying it open, just a little bit. Clarissa saw that it was indeed Victoria. "Uhm… yeah, what's up?"

[VICTORIA ROMENZ]

"Uhm… yeah, what's up?"

Victoria froze and all of her planned words vanished.
"Nooothing, I just wanted to hang out. I feel like we don't see each other much anymore..."
Victoria didn't see much of anybody anymore but that was beside the point. She came in and sat down on Clarissa's side of the room.

"Maybe we could hang out and watch movies... I bought Stargate...." Victoria's mind was blank. She fingercombed her hair and realized she didn't bring the DVDs.
"Or you could paint my nails..."

Wait, what? Woah, did she just say that... Her head felt underwater. She thought about one thing and stopped the spinning thoughts. Jeez what was happening?

[CLARISSA RAMONE]

Clarissa watched as Victoria seemed to freeze up. Had she forgotten why she was here? Her answer seemed iffy. Clarissa bit her bottom lip and looked to her feet. Clarissa didn't see Victoria much anymore. In class, yes, but that was it. And even there, Clarissa barely spoke to anybody. She focused 100% on the things being taught and then 100% on the class work itself. She didn't like to socialize. Looking back up to Victoria, she was about to make up some excuse as to why she couldn't when she pulled the door open more. Wh…. Why had she just done that?! Something had totally just taken control of her arm and willed her to do something she hadn't wanted to do. There was some annoying whispering in her ear (or the back of her head), insisting that she hang out with Victoria. Oh, so now her conscious had something to say. She stepped back as Victoria stepped in, taking a seat on Clarissa's bed.

Stargate? Clarissa didn't really watch TV and she certainly didn't watch all of that Science Fiction. If she watched TV, it was for a movie or the weather. Otherwise, she'd listen to music or do homework or clean. As usual. Clarissa looked to Victoria's empty hands. Had she forgotten those? Well, she seemed to be forgetting all sorts of things today. Clarissa headed to her dresser, messing with the little knick-knacks before turning to Victoria again. Paint her nails? This was so… not Victoria, Clarissa was a little confused. She knew that Victoria wasn't one for nail painting or girly things like that. Clarissa was, sort of. If she found the time, she would try something new with her hair and give her nails a clear coat.

Going to sit beside Victoria, she sat cross legged on the bed and fidgeted with the clip in her hair. That was today's accessory. "Paint your nails? I… I could, if you really want me… to?" Clarissa's statement turned into a question as they some times did when she talked. Or maybe it really was a question because Clarissa wasn't entirely sure if Victoria wanted her to do such a thing. It was just so… not Victoria.

[VICTORIA ROMENZ]

Victoria looked up at the ceiling. "No I was just messing around." She thought about lunch.

Why was she getting all worked up about this? All girls get stupid crushes. Even though Victoria definitely didn't want to be like everyone else she couldn't stop the inevitable. Did she love this guy? No. She barely knew him. Love at first sight is a myth. She most just have a crush on him. Like her best friends in middle school liked the popular boy. She wasn't going to let it bother her too much. She looked down at Clarissa.

"Your hair clip is pretty." she said trying to break the silence. Her best friend seemed to have closed to the world again. Victoria kind of felt guilty. She was so busy hating the friends that ditched her for the dance that she forgot about the ones that needed a push to hang out.

"We should do something this weekend..." Victoria suggested. "Anything really. We could hang out here, go iceskating, see a movie, maybe even...shop." Victoria winced for comic effect. "But seriously. You look like you could use some fun."

[CLARISSA RAMONE]

Clarissa felt her eyebrows raise, disappearing into her fringe of bangs. Messing around? Okay, so then why was she here? Clarissa was starting to get a headache. Not only was she so unsure on communicating, she also didn't know what to say. Did she ever? Looking down to her clasped hands, Clarissa bit her bottom lip, waiting for Victoria to say something else. Her mind drifted to the idea of a bubble bath before she knew that it was to late for that. She'd answered the door and now she was going to talk to Victoria. Clarissa may be anti-social, but she wasn't rude.

Glancing back at Victoria, she attempted a smile. She could tell it was there, even if it was probably faint. "Thanks," she said, toying with it for a moment. It'd been a present from her parents. They'd sent it from London. It had been the first on their World Travels. Now they were in Rome. She hadn't received a letter, lately... Maybe she would write them. She could always use ways to kill time. (Though she did plenty of time-killing on a daily basis). She put her hands back in her lap, trying to keep from fidgeting. It could sometimes be seen as rude. As if you're trying to keep yourself busy because the other was boring, or something. Clarissa didn't think this, of course. Fidgeting was just her thing.

This weekend? Did she have plans? A laugh echoed through her head. Clarissa never had plans. Her only plans were WORK. That was it. Did she this weekend? She had an early shift. Now the whole hanging out thing. Clarissa knew how to ice skate. She'd been living in New York City all her life. She better know how. That would be fun, definitely, but what if she did fall? In front of all those people? No, that wasn't safe. A movie was... She'd actually wanted to see... See what? She hadn't seen any new previews, lately. Way to live under a rock. And shopping was a definite no. Clarissa didn't like to shop, especially not with others. It was hard enough choosing her own clothes. Having somebody fling skirts and tank tops and flip flops at her? No, thanks. "A movie would be nice..." she finally said, still trying to think of any recent ones.

[VICTORIA ROMENZ]

"Right a movie..." Victoria faded off thinking about what movie they could see. There was that new scary movie but she hated any kind of scary movie. Maybe the one where that guy dies and his wife....no that ones supposed to be scary too.

"We could invite some more friends and hang out later..." Maybe that movie with the girl who falls in love with this guy over the summer. What would it be like to go to the movies with a guy?

She looked up at the ceiling and imagine sitting next to him while the previews play and the air being awkward and tense.

Not fun.

Victoria looked up and spaced out with a half-smile on her face.

Suddenly the movie blasts and she jumps and the boy put his arm around her. She shivers and smiles glad to have the low light to cover up her blush. They start to scoot closer as the movie goes on and they can't remember what happened. The lights go up and the boy turns and smiles at her. His face looks oddly familiar.

"Maybe we could invite D-" WAIT! What was she saying. NOBODY needed to know about her stupid crush.
"ttTyler Coor. He's a sweet guy and a bit shy but I bet you two would get along." Victoria said talking fast. The image of the movie scene lingered in her head.

Victoria didn't like chivalry and thought roses were cliche but she still was a sucker for sappy romance. She had never been on a date. Most of her boyfriends she meet around Baum and they kissed and held hands at Baum. Dates weren't really need when you knew the corridors would be empty for a few spare moments. "Maybe I can walk around later and see if some of my friends want to go..." If they aren't to busy avoiding me like the plague. she thought. Stupid dance. Some friends.

[CLARISSA RAMONE]

Clarissa would have to check online or maybe find a newspaper. She really didn't know anything about movies or which ones were coming out. She had heard a few conversations over the Valentine's Day one with Anne Hathaway and Topher Grace (whoever they were). Maybe Dear John? She still had no idea what these movies were about. The only reason she knew about them was from conversations she'd eavesdropped on. That was a terrible thing to do, though... The most recent one had been about drugs. Or something like that. She most definitely did not want to get caught up in it. Oh dear, had Victoria just suggested inviting more friends? Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. That was the last thing she really needed. More people. Biting her bottom lip, Clarissa looked up at Victoria to disagree with the idea. She realized, though, that the red-head seemed rather distracted. Her eyes were glazed over and she had this little smile on her face. Clarissa cleared her throat quietly, not wanting to be rude.

Maybe they could invite who? It'd sounded sort of like 'De' but she didn't even know a person whose name started with a D. (Maybe she did, but was having a memory problem). Her cover-up was a stuttered out 'Tyler Coor." Okay, she did know him. Perhaps simply from his pictures in the school newspaper, but he may have been in a class of hers. Speaking of pictures, his were amazing. To be honest, he was sort of a celebrity in her eyes. Not that anybody knew this because that was a silly thought. Sweet and shy? As much as it sounded like they'd get along, she really had trouble with that no matter how alike they were. "Oh.. well, I mean, that could be... fun?[/size]" she murmured, not expecting Victoria to invite a guy.

Clarissa understood that Victoria could definitely invite some of her friends. She had friends. Clarissa did have friends, of course, but she would never be able to work up the nerve to invite any of them. No way. She nodded a bit, still nibbling on her lower lip. "We should probably check on the movies, too..."[/font]

[VICTORIA ROMENZ]

"What about that one movie that's a holiday... St. Patricks Day... nooo...."
Its was that one with her favorite country singers. Taylor Swift. Actually one of her only. She wasn't much for country music. What WAS it?

Victoria liked that Clarissa wasn't prying. She noticed Victoria was spacing out but didn't ask her anything. "Damn I can't think of it!" She saw something of a glimmer in Clarissa's eyes when Victoria mention Tyler Coor. Hmmmm...

She decided to pry a bit, "Do you know Tyler Coor?"

Wait, what if Clarissa tried to pry with her to you know change the subject or something.

"I mean because it would be weird to go to the movies if you didn't."
That should probably make it seem less curious.

[CLARISSA RAMONE]

(not exactly sure how to go about this since we went from February to April so quick.)

Clarissa was feeling a bit overwhelmed. The movie did sound fun and she’d just started craving some Reese’s Pieces. Inviting others, though? People she didn’t know? Being in a crowded movie theatre? Oh jeez, she was going to start hyperventilating. Okay, what had her parents taught her? Breath in, breath out, breath in. Stop biting your lip. Don’t fidget. She’d be fine. Really. She could handle this. It was just a get together with friends. No problem. She just needed to focus on choosing a movie. And on getting over her fear (or whatever) of crowds. And people. Oh God.

What? Did she know Tyler Coor? Clarissa almost laughed. She certainly did not know Tyler. Sure, she’d maybe see him in the halls. They didn’t have any classes together as he was a junior. Last year, maybe, she might have had an Elective class with him. She really was having some memory troubles. Did Clarissa want to tell Victoria that she sort of saw Tyler as a celebrity? No. Was she going to tell her? Most definitely not. It wasn’t a big deal. Clarissa shook her head and clasped her hands together to keep from fidgeting. The breathing thing had mostly helped her calm down. “No. I just know that he takes pictures for the school newspaper,” she answered. But then Victoria was adding on to her question. It wouldn’t be that weird, would it? All they’d need was an introduction, really. “Wo… would it? ” she asked, resisting the urge to bite her lip. She didn’t want to have this whole movie plan go down the drain just because she didn’t know Tyler.

[VICTORIA ROMENZ]

Victoria started tallying up the people she could invite.
“No. I just know that he takes pictures for the school newspaper,” she answered. But then Victoria was adding on to her question. It wouldn’t be that weird, would it? All they’d need was an introduction, really. “Wo… would it? ” Wait... were her pictures going to end up in the newspaper? Ewww... she had to find Tyler before that happened.

Victoria looked over at Clarissa and realized strangers, especially guy strangers probably wouldn't be the best for Clarissa. She seemed to be freaking out already.
"You know what," Victoria put her hands together, "forget Tyler. We can have a girl's night out. Go see some romantic comedy. You can invite some of your friends and I...." Victoria trailed off. She really didn't have many friends that were girls besides Clarissa.
"yeah bring your friends." Victoria finished.

She switched her legs. "So this friday?" Man... she really needed to make some friends. Maybe she could invite Gabi... Yeah she seemed nice. Something still bugged her.
"Ugh! I can't think of that movie. The one with Taylor Lautner and the singer in it as a couple?" She racked her brain. Victoria hated that her mind was so foggy.

She closed her eyes and massaged her temple. Clear the mind... clear the--
Victoria just realized, she forgot to eat breakfast this morning. NO WONDER.

[CLARISSA RAMONE]

❀ ❀ ❀
you loved me 'cause I'm fragile

[/size]
when I thought that I was strong.[/center]

Clarissa couldn’t think of anymore movies and she couldn’t think of anymore people to invite. She glanced to the alarm clock on her bedside table. No wonder she was having trouble thinking. It was time for her daily bubble bath. This bubble bath always, ALWAYS relaxed her and made things much easier. It was one of the reasons she woke up in the morning. It was almost like her body knew she wasn’t getting that bath today and so it was retaliating against her by making it hard to think. That was so incredibly lame and also kind of cool. Okay, focus Clarissa, focus. So far, the only movie she could remember was Valentine’s Day and they might as well go see it. She’d heard that it had an all-star cast (Ashton Kutcher and George Lopez along with Anne and Topher) and that it had a happy ending. Clarissa loved happy endings.

As Victoria came to some sort of decision, Clarissa did as well. They’d see Valentine’s Day no matter who was going. It was sure to have something for everybody. Or just them. Was she really okay with that? Clarissa didn’t want to ruin the plans just because of her personality. And now she was suggesting that Clarissa invite some of her friends? What friends?! Okay, well there was Becky and Neil but they hated each other. Oh! At the sound of Taylor and Taylor, Clarissa remembered that they ALSO were in the movie. No kidding on the all-star cast. “That’s Valentine’s Day,” Clarissa answered, feeling successful in knowing the answer. “And I don’t really know many people…”

but you touch me for a little while

[/font]
and all my f r a g i l e strength is gone.[/font]
❀ ❀ ❀[/center]

[VICTORIA ROMENZ]

Victoria just realized she went more then five minutes without thinking about Dem-- DAM MIT! She laughed inwardly. It was like that game she used to play freshman year. You can't think about "the game." If you lost you had to tell EVERYBODY. Victoria lost so much that by the time sophomore year rolled around nobody wanted to play anymore. She really didn't care much about the game but Dem-- that guy was another story. She put her fingers through her hair.

Victoria jumped slightly as Clarissa spoke. Right Valentine's Day! She smiled, "Yeees, that one. We should see that one. It sounded funny." It took awhile for Victoria to take in the last part of what Clarissa said, her mind still floating above her body 'n all. She shook her had slowly to disagree and to clear her head. "You know people, like me and that girl Becky, She seemed nice." Victoria uncrossed her legs. "You should invite her.."

She looked up at the white ceiling. She looked down at her feet. She looked over at Clarissa. Quit thinking about him!!!! she thought.

[CLARISSA RAMONE]

❀ ❀ ❀
you loved me 'cause I'm fragile

[/size]
when I thought that I was strong.[/center]

Clarissa was trying to think of more people to invite. As she’d thought before, there was Becky and Neil who hated each other. But, wait! There was Elliot! Of course, how could she forget him? She’d practically had a crush on him since, well, she’d met him. Not that he, or anybody else, knew that. He was just so cute. And it broke her heart that he didn’t know. One, there was Gabby. Clarissa had no problem with the blonde. She was much to kind to dislike and it wasn’t her fault that Elliot liked her. Who couldn’t like somebody as pretty as her? Two, there was Clarissa’s incredible shyness. The day she told Elliot she liked him was the day pigs flew.

Clarissa had another sense of satisfaction at Victoria’s response. She was right. The movie did sound funny and, hey, with an all-star cast, it must be good. Now, there was the issue of finding more people to go with them. How did Victoria know that Clarissa knew Becky? Well, now that she’d been brought up, there wasn’t really anyway to deny it. “Yeah, Becky could go…” Clarissa murmured, twiddling her thumbs. “You really don’t know anybody else? What about your roommate?” Yes, surely Victoria had a roommate! She could invite her.

Victoria’s eyes wandered for a moment. First to the ceiling, then her feet and finally back to Clarissa. She seemed awfully distracted. What could she have been thinking about? “Is something bothering you?” Clarissa asked, more worried than she was curious. It was that observant part of her. She tended to notice things others wouldn’t. Of course, she was worried over curious because Clarissa didn’t want to feel rude and nosy. It was just her being concerned for a friend.

but you touch me for a little while

[/font]
and all my f r a g i l e strength is gone.[/font]
❀ ❀ ❀[/center]

[VICTORIA ROMENZ]

"Riiiight my roommate. I'm not sure if she likes me but I can try." she said biting her lip. Victoria put her hands in her lap to keep from twitching. She hadn't really talked to Neta since the whole dress incident at her dorm. Victoria couldn't tell Clarissa that though because she didn't even know about Victoria's girlie side. She probably should talk to Neta anyway. Bad relationships with dorm mates could end up with sharpie all over your face when you wake up and she wasn't sure if Neta was the type to do that.

Another silence filled the room. Victoria looked at Clarissa her face looked concerned. Oh no, why was she looking at her like that please don't ask the que-
“Is something bothering you?”

Dammit! Victoria took a deep breath. What should she say?

"Yeah, actually but you know when you think something happened and you don't want to say anything about it," Victoria paused and pulled at her shirt. Her eyes didn't meet Clarissa's, "about it out loud because you're worried when you say it it will be true?" Did that make sense? Would she understand it? It made since in Victoria's head but sometimes she had trouble expressing her thoughts.
"Yeah, that's what I'm feeling."