COOKIES & A SIDE OF GUILT COMING RIGHT UP[jamie]

[JEMISSA CROCKET]

Hey J, Sorry I haven't been around. I got banged up pretty bad last night and I'm in the hospital. Don't worry!!!! I'll be out and maybe we can hangout while I'm recovering and held up in my dorm U.U

Jemima Carley read the text message. Again. And again. Over and over until her mind could fully comprehend what it actually said.

"Banged up" probably meant he got into a fight.... and was now in the hospital?! How could this happen? Almost as soon as she understood, she felt guilty. It started eating away at her. Why wasn't she there to protect him? Sure, she couldn't fight or anything... but at least she could have kept him out of trouble in the first place? That protective instinct of sorts that had kicked in when she first met him was taking over. How had she not known until now? If she were there this wouldn't be happening! Why was it this hard to keep him out of trouble?

But wait, who was she kidding? She didn't have to watch over him evey second of the day. That would be creepy, for one thing. And two, he was an adult, right? Sort of? Well, he didn't act like it- which wasn't a bad thing, of course, but it meant that someone had to look out for him, and Jemima had obviously failed at that.

A fine conscience I turned out to be...

She was too sad to even begin to try and understand where that line came from, though at any other time it would have been obvious it came from her all-time favorite movie, Pinocchio.

Well it was obvious she had to see him, guiltsick or not. So she asked him what hospital he was at and what sort of sweets to bring.

I'm at Sacred Heart Hospital. Cookies sound delicious

Haha, somehow she knew he would say cookies. So on the way to Sacred Heart, she stopped by Gingey's and got one of those baskets they filled with their delicious cookies. There had to be at least two dozen in there.

Hopefully this would make up for her lack of protection. She asked the receptionist which room Jamie Shoemaker was in and was led there.

As soon as she saw him, she started crying. Like, it wasn't even registered and she didn't even shake, tears just came pouring down her cheeks.

Still, she smiled and held up the basket. "Cookies?"

notes bleh this is awful. :/

[JAMIE SHOEMAKER]

Jamie was sooo loopy right now. Like not even the good kinda loopy where you did silly things and said funny stuff right before you passed out. Just loopy. Being stuck in a hospital bed didn’t exactly make it fun. He didn’t like that he was alone either. Where was Joey? Oh right, she left. Jamie pouted and put his head under the bedsheet. Hospitals were so booooring. Like seriously.

Jamie heard the door open and peeked out from the sheets. He hoped it wasn’t a nurse. They’re the ones that made him fall asleep for so long and then wake up loopy. Looooopy. Oh wait, it was J the syrup girl. She had a cool name. What was it? Jemeen? Jemial? Jem—Was she crying? Jamie sat up quickly—ow—and gave J the saddest puppy dog look. “Don’t cry, J. I’m okay. I promise. Just a little bruuuised is all,” he said slightly slurring his words. She smiled and held up a basket. Even with her tears she was still smiling. She had such a pretty smile.

"Cookies?"

“Cookies? Yay!” He took a cookie from the basket and pulled J down to give her a hug. It didn’t really hurt too much because of him being loopy. After the hug he bit into his cookie and smiled. He held the cookie up to his face and laughed. “Look, I have a cookie smile!”

notes: short and sweet? sorry I fail. U.U

[JEMISSA CROCKET]

She wasn't fast enough to tell him that sitting up with broken ribs was totally not a good idea.

“Don’t cry, J. I’m okay. I promise. Just a little bruuuised is all,”

Oh goodness. They had him on some sort of medication. He was... loopy. That was the only word that could describe it. This could either be really bad or really entertaining, Jemima wasn't sure.

She also wasn't fast enough to tell him that hugging someone wasn't a good idea, either. But she accepted the hug, very careful to only lightly hug him back. In fact, it took all she had not to squeeze him with all her bearhugging might.

Jemima took a cookie out of a basket after he got his and munched it. Oh dear, he had a cookie smile. Even after geting beaten up, he was still so adorable. Well then. She took a huge bite out of her cookie and held it up to her own face with a little laugh. "Me too!"

[JAMIE SHOEMAKER]

“You do! That’s so cooool,” Jamie said. He giggled and ate the rest of his cookie. J’s face didn’t look very happy. She probably was worried he was still in pain. Well, he was but it was better than yesterday. Yesterday was bad. All they did today was put him to sleep and make him loopy. And now J was here! “Thank yoooou. I was lonely. Joey was here but she got tired and left to take a nap.”

Jamie moved over a little and patted the empty space on his bed. He didn’t know what else to do really so he grabbed another cookie. “What you wanna do? I think they have a T.V. here but you have to get up to turn it on. Or we could just taaaalk?” Jamie looked all around and spotted the T.V. It was pretty big and hung from the ceiling. For some reason he didn’t feel like watching T.V. so he looked down at his hands instead.

“Hmmm, where’s my shirt?” he wondered out loud. Then the bandages reminded him that he couldn’t wear a shirt. It’s a good thing it wasn’t winter. He’d be cool. He laughed a little and mumbled, “I’m shirtless.” Being loopy was actually pretty fun. He looked up at J and smiled innocently. “So what’s new?” He asked sliding down into the covers again.

[JEMISSA CROCKET]

Joey... Did she know a Joey? Let's see there was... nope, no Joeys. So this must be either a new friend or one she didn't know about. One that was kind enough to stay in the hospital with him until she had to take a nap.

Wait, she?

No, she wasn't going to get jealous now, at the worst possible time. The whole jealousy thing was a mystery to her anyways. I mean, obviously he's gonna have girl friends, because he was just that awesome. And why was she jealoud anyways? It's not like she was in love with him or anything...*

Jemima sat on the edge of the bed next to him, resisting the urge to cuddle him and tell him she was sorry she couldn't protect him.

“What you wanna do? I think they have a T.V. here but you have to get up to turn it on. Or we could just taaaalk?”


"You look like you wanna taaaalk," she said with a grin, sort of mocking him in a playful and joke-ish way. Then she laughed when he said he was shirtless. Whatever they had him on in here, it sure did make him loooopy. "I dunno where your shirt is." She looked around the room unsuccessfuly.

“So what’s new?”

"Oh, nothing really..." Yeah, nothing but her best friend getting beaten up and her not knowing about this until later. That was pretty new. Well, at least she had pretty much stopped crying.

* she's only totally in love with him. :/

[JAMIE SHOEMAKER]

"You look like you wanna taaaalk,"

Jamie stuck his tongue out and laughed. “I’m just loopy. They gave me ana—ana—the sleepy drug stuff.” He laughed some more and then started coughing a bit. Why did laughing hurt? It was supposed to be the world’s best medicine or something. Those shrink doctors are total liars. Jamie looked up and smiled at J.

“I dunno where your shirt is."

“Oh, they probaaably had to wash it. ‘Cause it’s all dirty from—,” the reason Jamie was hurt hit him hard enough to make his body tense up. The images of his past appeared in his mind and made his smile disappear. His time was running short. He had less than two weeks to recover and go back to where he came from. A week ago if you had told Jamie he’d be dealing and fighting again soon, he’d laugh at you. He’d never willing go back. But the gun spoke for itself. Jamie wondered if he should just let them kill him. He’d be like a martyr or something. St. Jamie. The thought made him smile sadly. He wasn’t even Catholic.

"Oh, nothing really..."

Jamie snapped out of it and coughed some more. He reached up and fiddled with a strand of J’s hair. “Your hair is pretty,” he said trying to not think about anything. The thought still haunted him that though. “I don’t wanna go back,” he admitted weakly. His eyes were a bit watery and he held the most fearful look ever. “I’m scared J.” He felt like he could tell J this. Joey was too fearless for him to admit it to her. J would understand.

notes: Poor J. She has no idea

[JEMISSA CROCKET]

“I’m just loopy. They gave me ana—ana—the sleepy drug stuff.”

Well obviously the sleepy drug stuff worked. He was very loopy. It would wear off soon, though, and he would be in pain, so she was fine with loopyness.

“Oh, they probaaably had to wash it. ‘Cause it’s all dirty from—,”

Jemima didn't want to finish the sentence for him out loud, but she still thought of it. The blood. Well so much for not crying. The tears started up again, soaking her already soaked shirt. Who would want to beat him up? She neded to have a talk with whoever these people thought they were.

“Your hair is pretty,”

She blushed a little. "Thank yo-"

“I don’t wanna go back. I'm scared J."

Oh god, she was gonna break down. But she couldn't. No, she had to be strong for Jamie. She had to be strong. She had to be-

"You don't have to go back, Jamie," she said, scooting closer to him. It wasn't necessarily cuddling him, but it was still comforting. Though to who, she didn't know.

[JAMIE SHOEMAKER]

Jamie wasn’t going to cry. No siree. Those tears were going to stay in his eyeballs. J had done enough crying for the both of them. Jamie looked up to see J was still crying. His chest hurt for another reason and the tears fell. He was scared. Nothing he could do could change the path of destruction he created for himself two years ago.

"You don't have to go back, Jamie,"

Jamie leaned against J and silently sobbed. He didn’t want to but all of his emotions were catching up with him. He never felt like he could ever show this much emotion to anyone but J had opened him up and now he couldn’t stop. How did she do that? She ust have magical powers or something.

“I have to, or else. That’s how it works. I’m not a good guy J. Sorry I didn’t tell you,” Jamie mumbled. “I didn’t get mugged. They jumped me because I left.” He sat up and away from J. “It’s okay if you don’t want to be friends anymore. I understand.”

[JEMISSA CROCKET]

Jemima never meant to make Jamie sad. Actually, she had been trying to make him feel better. But obviously she failed at this job, too. Was there nothing she could right when it came to Jamie?

When he leaned into her, she put her arm around him loosely, hoping she wasn't hurting the injured Jamie. And she let im sob. Why did she let him sob? Wasn't she supposed to be comforting him?

“I have to, or else. That’s how it works. I’m not a good guy J. Sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Jemima did not allow herself to ponder what the 'or else' was. Nosiree, there was no way she was going to let herself do that.

“I didn’t get mugged. They jumped me because I left.”

Left what? She didn't understand. What was he talking about? She realized she never really asked him about his past before...

When Jamie pulled away from her, she let him go. Because if she had done what she wanted and pulled him closer, she could have hurt him.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to be friends anymore. I understand.”

At first, she didn't know what to say.

Then her expression changed from sad to confused to a bit peeved. She was almost offended that he would think that she wouldn't want to be friends wih him. "Of course I still want to be friends!" Jemima couldn't hide the anger in her tone.

But she couldn't stay mad at him, as she had realized before. And especially not now. So she calmed down a little.

"I love you, Jamie," she said, meaning for it to be in a friendly type way, "and I'll be damned if I ever let anything hurt you. Ever," she paused, letting that sink in. "I'll always be your friend, no matter what happens."

notes; Yeah, "friendly type way". Sure. :/

[JAMIE SHOEMAKER]

"Of course I still want to be friends!"

Jamie felt relief wash over him like a tidal wave. He couldn’t figure out why but he was fairly certain if the little brunette J had got up and left, he’d burst into a dozen pieces. The nurses would have to tape him together with duct tape in order to get him back to the alley where’d he probably welcome another beating.

Whoa, that was intense. What was this feeling? Despair? No this was worse but not worse at the same time. She’d stay with him and be his friend even though he was turning out to be a crook. What he didn’t get was the relief and happiness he felt when she got mad at him for even mentioning her leaving. Right then, in his head, it didn’t matter if he’d probably be in jail in less than a year. As long as J was still his friend he’d be happy.

"I love you, Jamie,"

And then it hit him. He’d felt like this before with a certain redheaded fish girl. They were just friends now but he was for certain this was the very thing Jamie had been trying to avoid. Love. As much as he wanted to tell her he felt the same, Love was always bad for him. He always hurt and never could get it right. So he just wiped his eyes and stood perfectly still as she continued.

“and I'll be damned if I ever let anything hurt you. Ever," she paused, letting that sink in. "I'll always be your friend, no matter what happens."

“J, you don’t have to worry about me. It’s you I’m worried about.” Jamie put his arm around J and squeezed her lightly. “I mean, are you going to make friends with every guy that saves you from your roomie and lets you sleep in his room? Because I’m sure I’m the only one that’d let you stay the whole night even when you snore like a tractor,” he teased. Jamie poked her side, trying to lighten up the mood. He felt better now. Even with his imminent demise, he still had great friends.

[JEMISSA CROCKET]

“J, you don’t have to worry about me. It’s you I’m worried about.”

Jemima opened her mouth to say something, but then just ended up closing it and smilg when Jamie put his arm around her and squeezed. Then she was about to tell him that he probably shouldn't be doing that in a fragile state, but no words formed. She realized that she kind of wanted to stay there forever.

Her words started to reverberate in her mind, like an echo off the top of a mountain.

I love you, Jamie.

I love you, Jamie.

I love you, Jamie.

Who was she kidding, friendly-type-way? Oh, she loved him, more than anyone. More than Cleo. More than Sadie. More than her parents back at home in Trenton. Which she felt a little guilty about, to be honest. But hey, this was that kind of feeling. Oh, what was she saying? Jamie only knew her as a friend. Duh. The best thing she could do with this newfound (and quickly overwhelming) feeling was to keep it in. Why lose a friendship, right? Friendship lasted longer than relationships; she knew that from the like four she's ever had.

I love you, Jamie.

Oh wait, he was saying something else.

“I mean, are you going to make friends with every guy that saves you from your roomie and lets you sleep in his room? Because I’m sure I’m the only one that’d let you stay the whole night even when you snore like a tractor,”

"Do not." Jemima laughed. Of course she did. If there was one thing Jamie could do, it was lighten a situation like this. That was what she loved about him, after all.

[JAMIE SHOEMAKER]

”Do not.”

He loved it when she laughed. He just realized that. It’s like when she laughed, rainbows came out of her mouth or something else wonderful. Rainbows coming out of someone’s mouth when they laughed, that’s funny. Jamie snickered with her and poked her side.
“Do too.”

He knew he was totally going to start something with this but he was in such a good mood. J did that to him. She was like a big sun or something. Ms. Sunshine. J Sunshine. But then when she was sad like earlier it was horrible. He hated those tears. It was his fault really. He caused them.

I love you, Jamie.

He wanted to say he did too but it was too late. They’d moved on. Not that he could. That was totally against his no love code.

I love you, Jamie.

In his loopy state, he could hear her say those words clearly in his head. It was like she was saying it over and over. His brain was trying to tell him she meant it as a friend but it wasn’t computing. It just kept bugging him that he can’t say anything. And the words still repeated in his head. It really ruined his good mood.

“J, shhhhh,” he said even though she was quiet. “I can’t.”

[JEMISSA CROCKET]

“J, shhhhh. I can’t.”

Jemima had stopped laughing a few moments ago. What was Jamie talking about? She hadn't said anything... Well, maybe it was better she didn't ask. There had been a good thing starting a few seconds ago, and she didn't want to ruin that.

Unless, of course, she had already.

There seemed to be a silnce in that very short time period that signaled that something was up. Was it something she said?

Well, curiousity took over and she had to know.

She gave him a puzzled look, head tilted sideways and everything. "Can't what?" she asked, her voice barely over a mumble.

As a peace offering for whatever she had just done, she reached into the basket that she had set on a table beside the bed and pulled out a cookie. Smiling, she handed it to him, hoping it would help.