A Lack of Color {Scott}

[GIDEON GLASS]

Peace. Music was one of the few things that could give it to him, that solace, that comfort, that pacification of his racing thoughts. It...quieted him. Focused him, like a bifocal lens. It kept him together. It expressed who he was in a way Gideon could never manage with words or body language. He was a creature of many walls, after all, and self-expression was difficult for a rigid, serious young man like him.

But this. His fingers on the fretboard, the ridged metal of the strings leaving tiny lines in his calloused fingertips perpendicular to the natural designs on his skin. The smooth curves of the guitar fit so perfectly with the curves of his own awkward, lean body. Gideon was, unusually, content.

He played the introduction to the song, the tablature he'd memorized pointless now; his fingers moved on their own, muscle memory.

And then, softly, he sang.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night...take these broken wings and learn to fly..."

His nimble fingers slid from one end of the fretboard to the other, stretching apart as far as they could and then coming back together, moving expertly. He didn't miss a note. Gideon was nothing if not exceedingly accurate in every way.

"All your life...you were only waiting for this moment to arrive."

The corners of those oft-frowning lips curled up at the edges into a little smile. His voice was good - he was a talented musician - but it was reserved as Gideon himself. It would be hard to hear if one was not standing in the doorway, though the notes of the guitar carried farther than that.

He had been careless. Upon returning from class, he'd set straight to work retrieving his guitar. The door he'd left slightly ajar, just enough for a passerby to look in and see him seated on his bed playing, just enough for the sound of his music to trickle out into the hallway. It wasn't a mistake he often made, leaving his door open, and if he knew he'd made it, he'd be embarrassed. His music wasn't a secret, but he didn't display it. It was something for him. He didn't feel the need to show it off.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night...take these sunken eyes and learn to see. All your life...you were only waiting for this moment to be free."

He was at peace.

"Blackbird, fly..."[/i]

[SCOTT PARKER]

He was rushed. NO - he was more than rushed. He was absoltely pressed for time, and in way over his head. That sculpture that he'd been procrastinating on, giving away countless, precious hours to and wasting them because he felt a "lack of muse" and couldn't work in those conditions, all those hours added up, and now it was just a short matter of weeks before he was expected to present that sculpture to his professor for a grade, and he was hardly any nearer to completing his goal than he was when it was first assigned. Sure, he had parts. SURE, he was handy with a glue gun, but it would take something more than that. It wold take the ability to take all those spare parts and meld them into one cohesive nit that pleased the eye and hinted at a deeper meaning.

That was an ability that it seemed Scott just didn't have these days.

It was partly why he had decided it would be best for him to take a little breather and get ot of the dorm, at least for the time it took him to take a lap of the building and calm down. After being sequestered in that room for five hours in order to force himself to work, he had managed to work up into a frenzy. He had finally realized that he should take a little break after firing the staple gun five or six times into the door when he lost his train of thought as Cleo was a bit too loud in the other room.

He knew that he still had to keep working and that his entire life - his entire CAREER - depended on the worth of that sculpture, but the lives of his roommates were still annoyingly important. He slammed the door to the dorm a bit harder than he wold have liked, and was ready to storm down the hallway to get a bit of fresh air when he heard it.

Now, he was all for people rocking out to music, but this was.... well, it wasn't the usual blasting of recorded music that Scott was infamous for. No, this was gentler. More down to Earth and soulful than Madonna.

Intrigued, and suddenly forgetting the rage and stress and worry that had been plaguing him just a few minutes earlier, Scott followed the enchanting melody. It was gorgeous, really, and Scott had it in his mind to congratulate whoever it was on their beautiful taste in music. As he tip toed down the hall, trying to make the least amount of noise possible to interrupt the tune, it began to get louder and clearer, and he could just barely hear the soft echo of vocals.

This was it. The door that he had been looking for. Luckily, it was open more than a crack. Scott could just, well, wedge himself inside instead of bothering to knock. That was how it worked when people forgot to close their doors all the way, right?

He peeked inside, looking for the mysterious musician. To his utter shock, it appeared that the soulful, wonderful singer was that damn Gideon kid who'd yelled at Scott for his own music. Part of Scott wanted to scream about the hypocrisy of the entire situation, but... the music really wasn't harming anyone, and it was just so.... so soothing. He couldn't interrupt.

At the song's end, Scott didn't know what else to do but politely golf clap. He couldn't exactly go on being a peeping Tom, and he wanted to show his absolute gratitude for such a wondrous performance. "Hey, uh, that was.... Really, that was fantastic." The fire and brimstone that had been burning through Scott nearly all day had suddenly melted away. God, why had he been such a dick to this Gideon guy? Really, he was sure he couldn't be THAT bad.

"I had no idea that you were so talented! Really, you oughta play more in public! It's gorgeous. You've got a beautiful voice." Scott quietly choked as he realized the awkwardness of telling some gy he'd barely met that they had a beautiful anything, but it didn't faze him too much. He was still coming down from the high the music had given him.

[GIDEON GLASS]

There was something almost...spiritual about music, for him. Gideon was, of course, a firm believer in the facts, which made him religiously agnostic, at the least. He didn't believe in the paranormal or ghosts or demons or angels or gods, not until concrete proof could be presented. But something about music was transcendental for him, healing in a way he couldn't quite explain. For once, it didn't bother him that he couldn't explain it. He just liked it. It filled him.

"All your life...you were only waiting for this moment to arrive...you were only waiting for this moment to arrive."[/i]

He played the last few notes and let his voice and the sound of the guitar trail off into nothing. Content, he sighed, relaxing and letting his head rest on the larger curve of the guitar's body as if placing it on the hip of a lover. There. Now that he'd done that, he could easily return to his studies with all the focus and and seriousness he usually paid them.

"Hey, uh, that was.... Really, that was fantastic."

Gideon jolted upright with a soft sound of surprise. What? Who...?

Fighting down his nerves and trying to keep composure, he raised his olive green eyes to the figure in the doorway, pushing up his glasses. It was...Scott. That guy from down the hall who always played his music too loud and had been so rude to him.

He was...complimenting him? Really? This was...well, a bit of a shock. He hadn't expected Scott to be able to appreciate anything he did after their little confrontation.

"O-oh..." Damn. No. No stuttering. It would just make him look like a fool, and he didn't need to look like any more of a fool in Scott's eyes. "Ah...thank you. I didn't know you were listening..." He kept the guitar in his lap, if only to have something to hold onto. He was almost hiding behind it.

"I had no idea that you were so talented! Really, you oughta play more in public! It's gorgeous. You've got a beautiful voice."

Against his will, he felt a blush creep up his neck and onto his cheeks, turning his pale cheeks a light shade of pink. "Thank you," he said again. "I..." Dammit. He sounded like a complete idiot. This was not the impression he wanted to make. Clearing his throat lightly, he straightened further and tried to assume his usual collected air. "I am not really terribly talented...just a bit of a knack for remembering notes..." He'd always been modest about his abilities, but moreso when it came to music. "I never really thought about playing in public before, but...thank you. I am...glad you enjoyed it." Meeting Scott's eyes, he smiled in that uniquely Gideon way, the corners of his mouth twitching in unison until they drew upwards into some tiny, shy expression of happiness.

[SCOTT PARKER]

Now, why on Earth had Scott ever been such a bitch to this guy? Obviously, he was pretty chill, and his musical talent was amazing. He felt like he could just sit in for another one of those impromptu concerts and let his creative sponges soak up the inspiration. Maybe Scott had gone a bit too far with his music. He'd been known to go over the line before. Perhaps he ought to have given this kid a bit more recognition. Just look at him! They were clearly some kindred spirits! Scott had always assumed that he was some kind of soulless robot bent on solving math and science and stuff, but this music... well, it was gorgeous. It really was. It made him think that perhaps he hadn't given this kid the benefit of the doubt that he deserved. Perhaps this was his opportunity to start over. To give his brain a rest and turn over a new leaf with his dorm neighbor.

"Please, you're amazing! You have to give yourself some credit!" Sure, Scott had only just gotten over the rage that he had held for his kid a few seconds ago, but already he could feel a twinge of approval for him. He was humble, he had that going for him. Humble was always a good sign. Scott had found over the years that humbleness complimented his over the top cockiness quite well. It went hand in hand with his over the top confidence that was usually so characteristic of himself but now seemed to have fled the scene in lieu of Scott's stress and deadlines.

"Do you mind... if I came in for a second?" Not really waiting for a response, Scott pushed his way through to door and took a few steps closer to the bed where Gideon was sitting. Not close enough to be CREEPY or anything, but just close enough so they were more face to face and could have a normal, civilized conversation, unlike their first which had been impeded by the door to Scott's dorm.

"Y'know, really, I think that we got off on the wrong foot, and I'm sorry for that. I was a real prick to you. Do you want to just... start fresh? I mean, I don't want to gradate from Barrie with any bad blood between anyone."

Sure, it was awkward, and a totally weird thing to say. Scott was sure no one ACTUALLY went around asking to "start over" with someone. That was something solely reserved for movies and books with romantic plotlines. Gideon was probably going to think he was an idiot just like he did before because of this.

Holding out his hand to be shook, Scott introduced himself. "Hi. I'm Scott Parker. It's a pleasure to meet you." He grinned almost apologetically. He realized how stupid all this sounded, but he was hoping that by the grace of God it somehow got the point across. The point was that Scott was holding up a white flag of truce.

[GIDEON GLASS]

This was most certainly not the irritated young man he had encountered two doors down however long ago it was. This man was polite, and, well...friendly. And he was complimenting Gideon. Of all people to do so, he never would have expected Scott to be the one.

"Please, you're amazing! You have to give yourself some credit!"

He was blushing. As stupid as it was, he knew he was blushing. He had become fairly good at taking compliments, but this was an unusual circumstance. Gideon was usually composed and gracious when accepting compliments, but now he was just a flushing, stuttering mess. This wasn't like him at all. He needed to pull it together.

"Well, I..." He paused. "I have been practicing for some time," he finished, finding it a sufficient answer. "I play a few other instruments as well...piano is my favorite, but it isn't quite so portable." The corner of his lips twitched up into a small, dry smile. His sense of himself was starting to return, and with it, his usual ironic sense of humor.

Scott was asking to come in now, and Gideon was about to manage some other crappy response when he stepped inside anyway. The younger man relented, not particularly bothered by his presence. He seemed actually keen on conversation, and Gideon wasn't one to deny that. He did have some free time now, after all. There was no impending 11:59 PM deadline he was rushing to meet, no papers that needed drafting at the moment. He certainly had time for a good talk with a willing participant.

"Um...come in," he said almost jokingly as soon as Scott had approached him. He took the guitar from his lap and leaned it carefully against the desk beside him, intending to return to it later.

"Y'know, really, I think that we got off on the wrong foot, and I'm sorry for that. I was a real prick to you. Do you want to just... start fresh? I mean, I don't want to gradate from Barrie with any bad blood between anyone."

Gideon nodded. "Oh, no, of course, me neither," he agreed. "And I suppose I would say we did get off on the wrong foot...then again, perhaps I wasn't as reasonable as I thought I was being at the time. It takes two to make an argument, yes?" His tone was lighter than usual, conversational, but still with an air of poise. "I would be happy to start fresh. I've never been fond of having enemies. Not that we were enemies, just...well, as you said. I'd rather not graduate with any regrets."

Scott held out his hand, and Gideon nodded, taking his hand and shaking it firmly. "Gideon Glass. The pleasure is mine." He took note of the apologetic smile and returned it with a similar look, though the look of consent to the truce was more in his eyes than the rest of his face. Gideon would be much easier to read if one could see his eyes clearly all the time; they were quite expressive.

[SCOTT PARKER]

"Right, you know, just starting over. Get a fresh start so we can graduate without any regrets. Say, I like that!" Scott was starting to get a hold of himself again, a sly grin creeping back onto his face.

The huff and puff that had been clouding Scott's mind and keeping him from being productive was slowly starting to dissipate. The normal spark of sassy closeted gay man was slowly coming back to him, and Scott just knew it had to do with being with this Gideon kid. All that music and making up had done him a world of good, and it wasn't over just yet. Scott could hardly just flounce back ot through the door with a flippant "Well, nice talk, keep up the playing!" No, he had to stick around and see what else this secretive neighbor had to offer. To be honest, Scott was a bit upset with Dan (for a reason that he couldn't really explain to himself, much less anyone else, and for something that was utterly idiotic and childish and totally beyond Dan's control or knowledge, but that was besides the point) and a little company from someone other than his roommates wold be appreciated. He didn't know what it was, but once you'd seen someone's underwear draped over a chair you just came to respect them a teensy bit less than before.

"Soooo.... Mr. Glass: Piano and guitar virtuoso," Scott said slowly, wiping his hand slowly across the air as if underlining some far off neon sign. "Musician extraordinaire." he continued the motion, gazing intently off into space until finally shooting a glance back at Gideon. "Any other hidden talents that I should know about, or would that be about the extent of your arsenal of abilities?"

Scott knew that what he was doing might classify as flirting to some, but really... Gideon wouldn't be into that. He was way to uptight and into rules and order and quiet. A lot like Scott's parents in that regard, to be honest. And even if he DID swing that way.... well... Scott certainly didn't. Well, not so much as he would like to admit anyway. No.... all he was partaking in was a good healthy dose of playful banter with someone he was trying to earn the trust of.

"Well, Mr. Glass, mind if I sit down?" Again not waiting for a response, Scott took a seat next to the guy on the bed, a bit closer than was expected of people who had really in all right just met, but he wasn't bothered by the potential for awkwardness between the two of them. "How about you play s another song, huh? Whaddaya say? For me?"

[GIDEON GLASS]

Gideon's smile was smaller, shyer, a pale shadow of Scott's grin, but at least it was honest. Gideon wasn't good at faking a smile; he wasn't very good at smiling at all. "Yes. Thank you."

There was something about Scott that was...magnetic. Gideon didn't have many friends, and most of the friends he did have - Kerli or Coinin, for instance - were fascinating, but quiet. Scott was compelling, charismatic. Gideon wished he had that sort of air to him, that sort of confidence, but he didn't. It made him slightly jealous.

But...of course, Gideon didn't get jealous.

He felt a slight blush creep up his cheeks at Scott's antics, ducking his head slightly and pushing up his glasses. "Well, I'm not really a virtuoso," he said modestly. He looked up to meet his eyes when Scott glanced over at him.

"Well...I'm a decent cook, I suppose. And I make very good tea." There was a flash of almost...mischief in his eyes for a moment, some sort of slyness that reciprocated the undertone of flirting in Scott's mannerisms. It was only for a moment before he seemed to resume his serious demeanor as always.

Still, the fact of the matter was that Scott was attractive, and Gideon couldn't help but notice it. He wouldn't act on it, of course - he was not bold enough, and of course Scott wasn't...well, he couldn't be - but it was something he took note of. All but charming. Good looking. And friendly.

Don't be ridiculous, Gideon, you have more important things to focus on. Like exams.

"Oh, of course--" he began, but Scott had already taken a seat. 'Mr. Glass'? That reminded him of that one movie with Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis...

Pursing his lips at the request, he picked up his guitar again and rested it carefully in his lap. "Well...I suppose I could do so," he answered with one of his semi-smiles. He let his fingers fall across the strings and exhaled softly before beginning to play.

"And when I see you, I really see you upside down..."

He tapped his foot slightly to the rhythm, and as he hunched slightly over the guitar, he seemed to smile more than usual.

"But my brain knows better...it picks you up and turns you around, turns you around, turns you around..."


notes;; He is playing "A Lack of Color" by Death Cab for Cutie. :D

[SCOTT PARKER]

Scott knew that he should have left now. Normal people didn't wander into other people's rooms just for the hell of it because they heard some nice music playing. Right now he was hovering dangerously close to breaking the image of a nice, upstanding, heterosexual man that he had vowed to build up for himself at the start of freshman year. Well.... he wasn't exactly nice or upstanding, but he was pretty sure that most people at least thought he was straight. Sitting there on the edge of the bed, looking intently at the gorgeous eyes that Mr. Gideon Glass had was in no way going to protect that image that he had created for himself. Sitting there, asking Mr. Gideon Glass to play another song for him to listen to was certainly not furthering his image as a totally non-gay artist.

Part of him was starting to get a little freaked out. It was hard to forget the hell that he'd gone through with his parents when he came out back home. Sure, the other students had pretty much just given one big, collective "meh" over the whole sexuality thing, but it was always the people he trusted most that reacted in the worst possible way. No matter what, he could not relive the pain that he went through in Senior year. He couldn't get attached to Gideon or to Dan or to whatever other doe eyed guy managed to alk past. He needed to keep the image up, and get drunk enough to have se with whatever appropriately needy girl he could find. The last thing he needed was to fall head over heels for the first guitar playing college kid he stumbled across.

But still.... For the time that he sat there just listening to Gideon pluck out notes on the guitar as he prepared to sing, Scott felt better than he had in ages. Right there, in the smallish dorm where it was just the two of them, and Scott didn't have to worry about any wandering eyes peering in at them, well, it felt freeing. He didn't have to worry about keeping up appearances, or worry that someone was going to figure out his sexuality based on the way he acted. Of course, he wasn't sure that Gideon was in fact gay, but the music was so soothing and nice and lovely that it maybe didn't matter.

Listening to the music and seeing the guy smile as he sang, Scott felt a certain warmth flow through him. This is how he ought to be spending every night, sitting on a bed with a nice guy while he didn't worry about anything else but absorbing the music and watching his the musician absolutely beam happiness. Scott bobbed his head to the beat, stress absolutely evaporating from his mind.

[GIDEON GLASS]

“If you feel discouraged that there’s a lack of color here...”

Gideon was almost in a trance. Music did this to him, relaxed him to the point of reverie, a peaceful simplicity he could achieve no other way. All of the time, he was so tense, anxious, wound up tight like a ball of live wires...but when he could feel the music running through him, all that he saw was the tablature or the sheet music, all he heard was the notes. He could put his troubles out of his mind for a while and relish something he truly enjoyed. Of course, he enjoyed science immensely, but there was an anxiety to that, too, a pressure. He liked the pressure, but it tended to wear him out. Music rejuvenated him. It came so easily.

“Please don’t worry, lover...it’s really bursting at the seams, from absorbing everything, the spectrum’s A to Z...”

He’d never been a choir boy or anything of the sort, but his voice was good. It was unusual, he reflected, for someone so invested in math and the sciences to be proficient at an aspect of the arts, but he did not shun such fields of study. He was actually rather fond of literature, though the more...unrealistic fiction did not necessarily compromise well with his logical mindset.

“This is fact, not fiction, for the first time in years...”

That aside, though, he’d never made it a habit of displaying his fondness for music. Among the more science-minded of his acquaintances, it had no place, and those who would relate to him in terms of music were often repelled by his high Intelligence Quotient. It was a bit of a lose-lose situation for him.

“And all the girls in all the girly magazines can’t make me feel, any less alone, I’m reaching for the phone...”

But that didn’t matter. He didn’t care. No-one had to understand it except for him. No matter what anyone said, he was not a computer. He had feelings, and if this was the only way he could express them so someone understood them – even if that someone was only himself – then dammit, this was how he’d express them. No-one could take that from him. No-one.

“To call at 7:03...and on your machine I slur a plea for you to come home...”

He thought of Scott, sitting beside him, and found he was smiling a little wider. Why? He’d only met the man a few times before, and one of those times had involved a door being slammed in his face and a lot of yelling. But there was something...attractive compelling about Scott. Perhaps it was his artistry. Gideon had always felt a draw towards creative people; he couldn’t put his finger on why, but he supposed it was partially out of jealousy and partially out of admiration. Since childhood, there had been a part of him that had desired creativity and wondered if he possessed any at all. To be unique. It was an interesting concept, one he wanted to understand.

“But I know it’s too late, and I should have given you a reason to stay, given you a reason to stay, given you a reason to stay...”

Looking up into Scott’s eyes for a moment and letting the sad, beautiful song flow through him, he found himself wondering what would happen if they kissed right then. The thought normally would have flustered him, but he was in the zone right now; he was at ease. Anyway, it was an interesting enough thought. Gideon was fairly sure Scott was straight, and he wasn’t exactly public about his...well...homosexuality, but still. It might be...pleasant. Gideon couldn’t remember the last time he had kissed someone. It had been quite some time.

Well, no use thinking about it. Surely, it would not happen.

“This is fact, not fiction, for the first time in years...”

He played the last few bars of the song and let the final note ring out in the following silence before he glanced at Scott. He pushed up his glasses and blushed, smiling a small, shy smile. “Ah...well...yes. There you are.”

[SCOTT PARKER]

Scott had never really considered himself to be musically inclined. He had always pretty much been drawn to the whole art scene as opposed to the band kids or the chorus back in elementary school. He was pretty sure that his singular experience with playing a musical instrument had been a unit in third grade devoted to learning the art of the plastic recorder. He wasn't positive, but he could only assume that it had gone poorly. This, though, this entire serenade straight from out of the blue had him thinking differently. It had him wishing that at some point he had bothered to learn how to sing properly or play some form of instrument so that he could share this moment with Gideon.

Scott didn't really know how to describe the way he was feeling right at that moment. It was positive, to be sure, but he wasn't sure that there were words he knew that could accurately convey it. He supposed that the closest word would have to be 'safe,' which he didn't particularly like because it wasn't like there was a psychotic murderer that would be getting at him were he not listening to Gideon, but it still was the best option. He felt safe from all judgement. He felt safe enough to let his heterosexual obsession take the back burner for a moment. He felt like this was a time and place where there would be no judgement. Just the two of them, sitting together on a bed while Gideon stroked the strings of his guitar and sang softly, so just the two of them could hear. There were no wandering eyes assessing the situation and ready to spread a rumor about just how gay that guy at all the parties was. It was a moment shared by them and them alone.

“Ah...well...yes. There you are.”

Scott didn't clap this time. He didn't need to. He was in awe of that moment of peace that had just occurred between them as he had listened intently to the music. It was as if clapping would ruin the entire mood. It felt like Scott had just been given a gift by being able to spend this time with Gideon, just to unload and decompress and have a moment of calm. He was sure this was what meditation felt like.

"Hey, um, thanks again," Scott stammered, for once not really sure of how to work his words. "Really, for, uh, everything. This was just- it was fantastic." He felt color run to his cheeks as he was flooded with embarrassment for not being able to speak cohesively. He wanted to convey his appreciation in a way that Gideon would understand.

"Really though.... Thank you." Scott let his hand wander until it was resting on top of Gideon's. For that split second he wasn't worried about whether or not he was taking things a step too far. It just felt right.

[GIDEON GLASS]

Music wasn't the kind of thing that someone like Gideon, someone so private and closed up, shared with people who were almost strangers. But something about this situation was different. He felt, as Scott felt, that here, right now, the world outside did not exist; it was just the two of them here, sharing this...moment, and it was safe.

Gideon didn't often feel safe, or even secure in himself. Most of his life he'd spent toiling beneath his brother Percy in an attempt to be as successful, or striving to earn as much love and attention as his little brother Roderick. Even at school, he had thrown himself into his studies in order to succeed, to conquer the academic hierarchy of the prestigious boarding school. He always wanted to impress someone, earn his keep, prove his worth and capability. He had always felt that need, that necessity to make something of his worthless life, do something important, achieve something.

It was why he was so terrifically stressed every day of his life.

But right now, he felt...relaxed. Like he didn't have to force himself to work and work and work just to make sure he wasn't wasting his time. This was...free. Easy. Simple. And he liked that. He liked it a great deal.

"Hey, um, thanks again. Really, for, uh, everything. This was just- it was fantastic."

Scott looked...positively cute blushing his cheeks off like that. There was no more eloquent way that Gideon could sum it up. And that thought made him turn extraordinarily pink, his gaze wandering nervously from the floor and then back to Scott.

"Oh...no, no, there is no need to thank me...though I appreciate the compliments..." he mumbled shyly, a tiny smile quirking at the corners of his mouth.

"Really though.... Thank you."

"No, no, I--"

Gideon hardly had time to think before he felt Scott's sculptor's palm atop his hand, and a hot shiver shot through his body. He bit his lip softly for a moment; the contact was not unwanted, but just unfamiliar. Gideon did not actively pursue romantic relationships, so such tenderness was...strange, but...pleasant.

He looked down at their hands, then up at Scott, lips slightly parted in confusion. But after a moment, he relaxed, his olive green eyes softening and that unusual little smile crossing his face.

"I should...be thanking you," he breathed, meeting Scott's eyes steadily.

[SCOTT PARKER]

Scott couldn't trust how sublime this entire situation was. It couldn't accept on blind faith that love or whatever these feelings were could just spring out of nowhere. he'd been hurt before. he'd done this to himself before. he would sit there, mooning over a guy and dreaming up an entire life for them where they were happily married husbands with two or three perfect adopted children that lived a life straight out of a perfect family sitcom. He'd done it with tons of guys over the years, mistaking small gestures for flirtatious signals and the most insignificant of conversations for confessions of true love. he'd done it before and he'd always gotten his heart broken as it turned out they were straight and just trying to be friendly. It was the curse of being gay in the modern day and age. There were far too many straights who were willing to participate in touchy feely 'bromances' and confuse and hurt Scott without even meaning to.

Scott knew that he ought to just back off now. he knew that he should just go back to his room with his tail between his legs. He was going to get in too deep and then he would end up getting hurt. This was some guy that he had only spoken to once before in a heated argument! There was no way that there could ever be anything between them on the romantic scale! Scott was doing it to himself again, and he would just complain and whine and cry to everyone he knew once Gideon finally spelled it out for him in no uncertain terms that there would never be anything resembling chemistry between the two of them.

And yet... Scott couldn't help himself. It felt so serene here. It felt so perfect, like a scene torn straight out of a romance. Just the two of them sitting there, listening to beautiful music. And now Scott had his hand on Gideon's and there was no disgusted withdrawal on his end. There was no repulsed look of confusion and suspicion. There was merely a genial giving of thanks, and that was more than enough to keep Scott interested and dreaming that the two of them would one day be raising beautiful kids in some cute suburban home with a white picket fence and a golden retriever and an absolutely hideous van that the two of them decided was best for carting around the kids to sports and music lessons.

"God, what do you have to thank me for?" Scot chuckled softly, staring into Gideon's eyes. he didn't take his hand away. "All I've done is barge in on your room and intrude on your little practice session. You're the star here, I'm just an observer."

[GIDEON GLASS]

Gideon didn't trust people.

It wasn't something he did. Like Scott, he had been hurt in the past because he was foolish, and he had promised to himself that it was not something he would be doing again. And that had made him close himself in, keep himself apart, refuse any sort of romantic engagement in favor of burying himself in his work. Work was not confusing. It was straightforward. Chemistry was very clean, very orderly and interesting, whereas relationships were messy and always ended badly no matter what the circumstance.

And so, Gideon had never actually had a significant other.

And he didn't plan to. He was under the impression that he would die alone, that he would never be able to conduct a successful relationship with anyone, and this sad realization he thought he was having kept him from even trying. Certainly, he found men attractive, but...

And then there was Finn. What was he going to do about Finn? What could he...no. He knew that was going to end badly and he had entered into such a thing anyway. It was a matter of fact that he would be hurt at the end of that, but he was prepared. He would not bare his soul to Finn if he could help it - that never led to anything good on Gideon's part.

But looking over at Scott, he wondered if maybe he could...

And then he slapped himself - mentally - in the face.

Of course he couldn't. Of course Scott wouldn't want to deal with some neurotic science-brained type like him. He was a loser. Worse than that, he was a hermit. He didn't even like other people, so why would Scott think that he liked him? After all, they'd had that tremendous fight...

But...he wanted to believe that he was capable of feelings.

"God, what do you have to thank me for?" Scot chuckled softly, staring into Gideon's eyes. he didn't take his hand away. "All I've done is barge in on your room and intrude on your little practice session. You're the star here, I'm just an observer."

"Star..." Gideon blushed rather profusely and averted his eyes, a tiny smile curling his lips. "W-well...thank you. I am no star, though, I assure you."

[SCOTT PARKER]

Scott was starting to feel a bit braver. Well, not that he'd hadn't been brave all along,r eally. It took a fair amount of guts to just barge into some guy's room and plop down on the bed next to him and start pawing at him like some kind of wild, horny animal. This was different though. He was slowly starting to get over his reservations. He didn't worry about what Gideon thought of him because he was pretty sure, like, 99% sure right now which was totally a good amount, that Gideon didn't have any problems with him. Anymore.

This was all a bit more confusing than Scott had really anticipated. He tried his best to ignore the weird intricacies and the navigation of the confusing an murky waters of social acceptability and just go with what he was feeling. Right now he felt like he could do anything, get away with anything with Gideon, and nothing bad could or would ever come of it. All his reservations had suddenly melted away. He just wanted to... well, he didn't even know what. Frankly, a good cuddle session would have been great, but that was mainly because Scott didn't really know how to initiate anything else. Would it be wrong for them to just curl up together like to cats in a particularly sunny spot and just ...be together? It wasn't exactly the interesting part of a gay relationship, but Scott was pretty sure it was all he could stand at the moment. Part of him was still wondering, doubting, wishing, that something more had happened with Dan. Could he just fling himself into a physical relationship when he was still grieving what never was and what most likely never could have been?

Something deep within Scott suddenly took control. Some switch hidden well within him was suddenly thrown and Scott didn't care anymore. He didn't care about any of the stress that had been plaguing him, well, his whole lie really. he just didn't care about it. The only thing that mattered right now was Gideon and Scott being in the same room and being together with each other and enjoying each other.

Scott decided to take a chance. That's all it took, he knew, to do something worthwhile. He couldn't count the number of missed opportunities, the number of people that had pased him by and the number of times his heart had been broken because he hadn't had the guts to DO anything about it. Dan was only the latest of a string of guys that had flitted out of Scott's life.

Without any rhyme or reason behind it besides the fact that to Scott it just felt right

[/i], Scott leaned in closer, kissing Gideon briefly. It was just a second, just a brief, fleeting heartbeat, but in that second Scott felt right again, felt right for once. For once, he was sure, he was SURE that he hadn't made a mistake in leaving his family and cutting off all ties with the people back home. He was positive that this felt too real, too right for it to be wrong. He was positive that he had done the right thing moving away from home instead of going to some psychotic camp that his parents would have dug up designed to pray away the gay. He had loved them, but just this connection with Gideon, just this simple kiss, had been more meaningful than anything they would ever have been willing to give him after he came out.

Scott didn't say anything. He didn't think he had to. He merely looked into Gideon's eyes, now back to the comfortable distance away, not interfering with any personal bubbles. He hoped it had meant as much for the musician as it had for the sculptor. [/justify]

[GIDEON GLASS]

Gideon had never liked being different.

He wasn't the kind of boy who wanted to stand out, and he never had been. He'd never wanted to draw attention to himself. His brother, Percy, he had always been eager to collect accolades and clarify just how magnificent he was, just how outstanding, because things had come so easily to him. Gideon, on the other hand, had had to work for whatever reputation he earned, and even then, he was always overshadowed by his brother's accomplishments. He was not to show up Percy, that much was made clear in his life. He was to be the awkward middle child, forgotten, working his ass off and never getting credit for it.

At least, not the same way Percy did. Not with parties and smiles and money rewards from his parents. No, Gideon got pats on the back and "good work, Gideon"s and that was it.

He'd learned to keep his head down. He'd learned that no matter how hard he tried, he wasn't going to be able to close the gap between himself and his older brother, and he would never be able to earn the same affection as his younger brother. This reality had made him shy and self-doubting.

So when he had figured out that he was... different, it had tortured him.

And he'd been so unsure, so withdrawn about it, not telling a soul. The only boy who seemed to decipher it for himself had strung him along and run off with his virginity in more ways than one. It was no wonder that Gideon wasn't exactly keen to go searching for a significant other that was to his tastes; he didn't trust, period.

Because trust could be broken.

But Scott was sitting here and this moment and he...he didn't even know how to construct a logical train of thought right now, it was this big jumble of logic and emotions. Part of him felt that this was wrong, that he shouldn't be sitting so close to another boy and letting him touch his hand and looking into his eyes, what would people think, what did this have to do with keeping his head down? But on the other hand, most of him felt like...this was okay. This was right, this was good, this was okay.

He wanted to believe it was okay.

And just as he was about to convince himself, Scott kissed him, and for a moment, everything in the world stopped.

Gideon had not been kissed many times in his life. He had rarely tried to attract significant others, and he certainly wasn't the type to sleep around; he was restrained, repressed, and studious, and he didn't have time for that sort of thing. So the feeling of his lips connecting with Scott's, no matter how briefly was still alarming, but...

He couldn't deny that it felt...good.

For a moment, he was speechless, olive green eyes wide behind his glasses, and his face turned an alarming shade of pink. He stared at Scott, momentarily confused and bewildered, but there was no trace of disgust or rejection in his face. In fact, after the initial shock faded, he just seemed crushingly shy.

His eyes flitted down, and a tiny smile curled at his lips.