What was it you wanted?

[ZACK CHARMING]

Zack’s lips vibrated slowly, opening and shutting lethargically like window blinds as he mouthed the words to “Classical Dynamics of Consistent Quantum Theory”, the free reading he’d selected for that day. The corners of his mouth twitched slightly as his mind began to engage. He loved moments like this: reclining in his soft, plush chair, squinting at microscopic words printed single-space in double columns down the enormous pages. He ran his finger over the charts and diagrams again and again until he understood every line and number. His brain computed the information like a state of the art machine, reliable and efficient. He loved intellectual challenges like this, material that actually stimulated the power of his unfathomable mind. The only thing that really let his full potential shine. If only other people could see. Or even comprehend. Or even care.

Zack ran a hand through his hair, grimacing as a girl at the table opposite pointed him out to her friend and giggled. There was no escape. But at least here, on his home turf, he could tune it all out and concentrate on things that mattered.

Something caught Zack’s eye across the aisle. The fluorescent lights reflected off a glint of blonde hair. It was a weird effect, like the sun reflecting off a golden bell. Somewhere in the part of his brain that wasn’t immersed in nuclear physics, a lightbulb flickered on. Where had he seen that glint before? He could imagine the neurons lighting up in his brain, one by one. What was it? What was he remembering?

And then, suddenly, it was in front of him. The interesting shade of blue-green in the eyes that seemed to glisten as if with tears. The playful blonde curls that teased her face, almost goading it to come out and play. The fair skin and lips that were pleasingly plump but not to the point of obesity. Instantly, the lightbulb in Zack’s head exploded, pouring light into his cerebral cortex and flooding him with images and memories. “Annabelle?” he asked, his voice no more than a whisper.

His eyes widened with shock as his senses were assaulted with a million different emotions. He wasn’t sure what to feel, or how to express it. “Annabelle? But…but the dance…when the clock struck midnight, you…you disappeared.” He paused. “Didn’t you?”

[nofarisnotfar]

Annabelle walked into the library, not expecting much. At first, it was just what she had thought, an average library. Just books, quiet, and some time where she could escape from her awful family. She had told her stepmother she had a project due, which was true, she had just left out that she had finished it 3 days ago. Her stepmother let her go, not out of the kindness of her heart or anything like that, of course, just because she didn't want to be publicly embarassed by her stepdaughter failing. It was the first time she was allowed to go anywhere outside of the house... but not the first time she went out... she shook the thought away. It was over. She would never see him again, the chances of that... she shouldn't even get her hopes up. She was just about to grab a book so she could linger in the library when her eyes drifted around. What she saw caught her by complete suprise.

No. No way. It could NOT be him. The chances... it couldn't be... there must be many guys who looked like him from behind, right? She didn't want to get her hopes up... but she couldn;t help but try and get a peek at his face. She couldn't quite see... but when the boy got up and said to her, “Annabelle? But…but the dance…when the clock struck midnight, you…you disappeared.” “Didn’t you?” She knew for sure it was him.

Just his presence warmed her heart all over again. She... she couldn't beleive it. It was Zack! He was here. He was here! She didn't care if he hated her, despised her... just him standing there was a comfort to her. She could finally explain to him... it had been haunting her for so long. "Yeah... I'm so sorry. Believe me, there was nothing more I wanted than to stay... but... my stepmother. I snuck out, stole my stepsister's dress... I wasn't allowed to be there, and I knew she was coming back at midnight. She would kill me... possibly literallly... if she found out I had gone, I had to go, I'm so sorry..." She could only hope he would understand.

[ZACK CHARMING]

Zack was barely listening as the girl rambled on and on. His jaw was slack, eyes wide with shock and disbelief. For the first time since before he could remember, Zack Charming was rendered speechless. This was a concept so abstract that he couldn't wrap his exceptional mind around it. Here was a brain-teaser he wouldn't just dismiss as a trifle: here, at last, was a puzzle the great Zack Charming couldn't solve.

Flashbacks began to shoot through his head so fast they were nothing but an erratic blur, providing him only with images of memories, like a row of racecars zooming past. Zack's pupils jerked back and forth, up and down, trying to keep up with the speed of the memories. It was as if some barrier had ruptured, and the substance kept behind it were now zooming into his mind. Things were coming back to him like Christmas lights, coming on one by one. He could feel himself spinning, tilting, tilting...

Then, suddenly, some reflex in the back of his mind kicked in. In the blink of an eye, Zack was aware. Everything shifted into focus, and his mind seized the controls of his body back from Annabelle. Zack shook his head to clear it of residue from the flashbacks. The dark room with multicolored stars flashing on and off across the walls, the scream of consternation at the final chime of the clock, a single locket clattering to the floor, bouncing down the steps, sliding to rest beside the tranquil fountain...instinctively Zack's hand shot to the chain around his neck. But no. This didn't make sense. Not yet, in any case. He had to bide his time. Do what he did best. He cleared his throat and smoothed back his hair.

"Ahem. Annabelle. Hey." There was a pause. He waited for his brain to supply him with something to say, but nothing surfaced from the murk. His eyes scanned her up and down for inspiration. Gold hoop earrings. You don't wear gold earrings of that size to a library. Unless...unless you're meeting someone you want to please. That also explained the high-heeled shoes. And i don't remember her hair being curly. She must've curled it. Now why does one curl one's hair on a saturday afternoon unless...unless... He cleared his throat again.

"What brings you here today?" he asked awkwardly, although he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

[nofarisnotfar]

Annabelle was getting mixed messages from Zack. When he had first looked at her, he seemed to be longing for an expliantion... then when she had tried, he seemed to be off in space, completely ignoring her. Now he was just making conversation, as if he had forgotten... everything that had happened at the dance. Could he have forgotten? Could he simply not care? Was it all in her head, that night where they seemed to have bonded so deep, while saying so little...

She had given up all hope, crushed herself in her mind until... she looked at what he had before touched. It seemed very familiar... could it be? Her locket! But how could he have he locket her mother had given to her only days before she died? The locket she had always worn around her neck, even while sleeping, when she was devestaed to have lost it... right after the dance! When she had ran! He must have found it, and... kept it... Her heart soared. She knew him keeping it... and WEARING it... must mean something.


The only thing that put a bit of a downer on her spirits was the odd way he was looking at her. She had absolutley no idea what was going on in his head. "What brings you here today?" He asked. "Just getting a book for a project... well, sort of... at least that's what my stepmother thinks..." She realized she was rambling again. "What brings you here?"

[ZACK CHARMING]

What brings me here? Zack shook his head. This wasn't the Annabelle he remembered. The Annabelle he'd met at the dance was the only person in the world who understood him, who he could really, truly talk to as an equal. Sure, her intellect wasn't even close to his caliber, but she was a considerate, sensible girl, unlike most of his screaming, love drunk posse. Annabelle had been his escape, like the library and ridiculously advanced math and physics problems. But this...this girl was something different. This was just another one of his jabbering, babbling admirers. He could feel his heart sinking lower into his chest. Annabelle had been his one last shard of hope, the scrap of life raft he'd clutched to stay above the water.

And yet, Zack could still feel a sharp tug, an irreversible attraction to this girl that he couldn't deny. He stood up and closed his physics textbook, stood up from his chair, and walked forward. "I missed you," he whispered. No lip. No sarcasm, no arrogance, no showing off. A plain, simple sentence. Three words, that tore back the granite mask and revealed the real Zack Charming. Behind the goading, the sneers and jeers, the expressionless glares, a human being. Behind the computers and futuristic machinery, the adult vocabulary and conglomorous mental equations, a boy.

Zack stepped gingerly around the table, fumbled with the folds of his t-shirt, and withdrew the silver locket. The light caught it and it glinted, dangling across Zack's plain white t-shirt and broadcasting itself to all the world.

[nofarisnotfar]

"I missed you,"

That's all it took. That's all it took to put out Annabelle's worries, make her forget about her past, her childhood, her troubles... everything. That's all it took to lift her spirits... and thats also all it took to shut up her babbling, which she greatly appreicated. Those three little words, seperatley insignificant, but together meaning so much... she knew Zack Charming could have anyone he wanted... and she knew a cleaning lady wasn't all that appealing. But for some reason she would never undertand, he chose her.

She watched as he took out her locket and exposed it to the world. For most, it would have been just a dusty old locket... she reckoned it could not even mean that much to Zack. But to her, she had all the memories of her mother, all of her past, all of her happiness that she had ever had in her family locked inside. And to watch him take it out and expose it like that, so caringly, it was as if he was honoring her, honoring her mother, honoring every happiness she's ever had... she felt she needed to reward him for something like that. She knew what she wanted... she looked him in the eyes, got closer and closer, until she was just inches away from his face... she was so close to him... so close...

But she knew what he hated, and that was an obsessive girl. She knew if she kissed him now, he'd run, disgusted. So she backed away, as much as it pained her, and said simply, "I see you found my locket... thank you."

[ZACK CHARMING]

Zack's eyes widened briefly, then he regained control. Okay. This wasn't going to phase him. She didn't want him anymore. Maybe there was another guy in her life. Or maybe not. Whatever. He could cope. He was better than this. He took a step back.

No. No, he wasn't better than this. He knew his heart was still aching from the wound he'd suffered after Annabelle's disappearance from the ball. The wound had never truly healed: it was as if he'd been taking Tylenol every day to suppress the pain. But at least after that he'd had the element of surprise, the benefit of the doubt. He could pretend, sit at his computer and picture her face in his mind, and wonder if she was thinking of him too. He could clasp her locket and whisper her name, over and over again, until the syllables became meaningless in his mind and alien to his mouth. But her knife had plunged back into his scar, tearing it open and rekindling the flames of pain that engulfed him. Zack gritted his teeth. Okay. Time to put this behind him. He could sit down and cry like a girl later. Right now, he had to put his barriers back up, no matter how shabby and inefficient they were.

The heat was rising in his face. Okay Zack. Calm down. Now was not the time to show his sore spots, his open wounds. He'd made that mistake once today. Now was not the time for Zack Charming to be human. Now was the time for Zack Charming to be Zack Charming.

"Sorry, honey," he sneered disdainfully. "Finders keepers." He stuffed the locket back into his t-shirt.

Ah. Much better.

[nofarisnotfar]

Oh no. He didn't.

Did he just threaten to stel her locket? To steal the one thing that kept her from losing her mother, thr one thing that kept her same when she was forced to clean for days on end, did he just threaten to steal... everything she's ever wanted, and everything she's ever had? She realized he was just trying to be sarcastic, or funny, or whatever the hell he tried to be, but she knew how she felt about it. And he was about to find out.

"Do you know what you said?" Annabelle said, with a harsh tone. "Do you KNOW what you just said? Do you know what's in that locket? In that locket, is the last picture I can ever take with my mother. I was 3, and she gave it to me 3 days before she died in a car accident I had to watch. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?" Annabelle became a little afraid. She had never yelled at anyone, over anything. It seemed that for some reason, this moment right now, all her anger from all her years was swiriling around inside her... ready to create a perfect storm. "WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS THAT A STEPMOM WITH DISGUSTING STEPDAUGHTERS CAME INTO MY LIFE, AND FORCED ME TO DO ALL THE CHORES WHEN MY FATHER WASN'T HOME! I HAVEN'T BEEN ALLOWED OUT SINCE MY MOTHER WAS ALIVE! And do you know what kept me sane? That tiny little locket that reminded me someone cared. And you know what? I don't care if you were trying to be funny, or sarcastic, you might as well have told me to go die in a hole. Because without that locket, I think I just might." She paused and took a deep breath. She had never yelled at anyone. And now she knew it felt good. "I- I actually liked you, I tried to KISS you, but then I didn't because I know you hate obsessive girls, and... Ugh, I CARED. Why the hell did I care? You obviously don't care about me. You know what? Keep the locket. Because it's all you'll ever have to remember me by." Tears streaming down her face, she began to run out of the library.

[ZACK CHARMING]

Zack rolled his eyes. That was it. Now was the time to drop all pretenses. This was a no-more-Mr.-Nice-Guy situation: he was in full Zack Charming mode now. "Oh boo hoo," he sneered. "Poor little AnnieBellie with her mean old granny keeping her all locked up. Forced to stay in her nice, warm, safe house, banned from exploring that, cold, dark, cruel world out there, oh the very thought! Let's all go cry in the boys room over poor, poor Annabelle. How dare that hag of a stepmother look out for her husband's daughter's best interests? How dare she?"

Annabelle was running away, bawling her pathetic little eyes out. "Do you want to know something?" he shouted after her. "Do you want to know what my parents do? Do you want to hear my little memoirs? That's right, you don't. You know why? Because hearing about someone else's miserable life just makes yours seem insignificant. You think you're so important, you think you're so special because your life is so terrible, such a heartbreaker. Oh little Annabelle, an innocent little girl thrust into a life she doesn't deserve, oh the horror, the horror! You don't want to hear that anyone else could actually be miserable, because then you'd realize you weren't so special after all, wouldn't you?"

Okay. He might be taking this a bit too far here. But once he'd started, he couldn't stop. He had the momentum from the start, and it would carry him across the finish. "Someone's mean to you, someone insults you, you can deal with it, can't you? Because they don't understand, you tell yourself, they don't understand what you go through every day, how hard and miserable your life is, how if only everybody knew, if only they could live as you for a day, they'd all love you. Isn't that right?" He cleared his throat. “But that’s not the way it works, little CinderBella. Everyone’s got a hard life, everyone’s got their own little problems. The difference between you and the rest of the world isn’t your terrible little hellhole of a life and all the wonderful heavenly paradises the rest of the world lives in. No, the difference between you and them is that you exaggerate your problems as a magnet for pity, you use them as a crutch to lean on, a shield to deflect others’ opinions from getting to your brain.” He paused.

“Get over it, Annabelle. There are people that have it worse than you. And you knew that. So stop living in your little fantasy, because this isn’t a fairy tale. This is real.”

Annabelle had reached the door. Zack was panting and perspiring slightly. Zackary, you moron. He slapped his metaphorical forehead. Great job. Great, great job. Mess things up with the one person in the world who cares about you. Couldn’t he just have kept his mouth shut for once in his life? How could someone so intelligent be so stupid?

“Annabelle,” he called weakly, his voice devoid of the fervor it had possessed just a moment before. “I…I’m sorry. That…that wasn’t…well…I guess what I’m…you see…” He shook his head. Time to start over. Time to wipe everything away. Time for a new slate, a clean, sparkling whiteboard.

Swallowing what was left of his pride, Zack took a long step forward until he was facing Annabelle. He stretched out his hand. “Could we maybe be friends?”

[nofarisnotfar]

"Who the hell do you think you are?'' Annabelle screamed. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO ASK ME TO BE FRIENDS AFTER THAT? WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO JUDGE MY LIFE? You think she has my "best interests" in mind? SHE TOOK ALL THE MONEY I SAVED UP FOR COLLEGE FOR NEW BOOBS FOR HERSELF! That's right, all the money I saved up from working 3 jobs thrown away. And you know what? There's so much more I could tell you, but you obviously don't care. You obviously have your "own problems." What is it, honey, too hot? Too smart? Too many girls after you? I don't care what you think a hard life is, and I don't care how pathetic mine may be. Stay the hell out of mine."

Annabelle grabbed the locket from his neck, knowing exactly what she had planned. She planned to smash it, destroy it, so that Zack couldn't steal it away from her, so that he couldn't own her memories, so that if she didn't, no one could. But as she dangled it there... she just found it hard to let go of all her memories, or her mother. She was about to let go...

[ZACK CHARMING]

Zack stared at the girl holding his locket. Angrily, he snatched it back. She wasn’t going to destroy the thing that had kept his mind and body going all these miserable years. Dejected, he stared face-on at the girl who’d captured his heart, tortured it, and was now throwing it into the street. He wanted to feel anger, he wanted to feel rage, disdain, but all he could feel was grief. This was all his doing. All his miserable life he’d been wishing, hoping, praying to meet someone that he could stand…and when he had, he’d ruined it with his stupid lectures and “insights” that no one ever wanted to hear. Why couldn’t he have kept that whole thing to himself? He’d always managed to do it before. “Annabelle…” he started, quietly. “I…I couldn’t just…basically, all these years I’ve been so altruistic and narcissistic, to the social psychology of interpersonal interaction, because usually the complimentarity interaction between partners attracted to the personifications of their ideal selves strengthens the affection in question…” he shook his head, realizing he’d gone into another one of his vocab spews. That wasn’t a good sign. It showed he was losing control. Annabelle was the one person he’d never had to watch his vocabulary around, never had to dumb his sentences down, filter out concepts too complex or abstract for the average human mind to compute…but for this new Annabelle that now glared at him from behind cold, expressionless features, he wasn’t so sure. He wasn’t sure about anything anymore. “Okay, basically, I still love you. More than…anyone. I couldn’t stop if I tried.” He shook his head. That was absolutely pathetic.

And in that split second, Zack realized what he had to do. He realized what he had to do to win this girl’s heart. Something he’d never done before, and had never even thought he possessed the ability to do. He would have to open up to Annabelle. Put himself at her mercy, tell her what he’d never told any other human being. Break down the barriers around his mind, uncork the bottle that had held his thoughts and feelings captured all these years.

Too hot? Too smart? Too many girls after you? The words rang through his head like an enormous bell, chiming loud and clear. If only she knew. They made him want to lash out and punch her, but he composed himself.

“Do you want to know something?” he asked quietly. “Ever since I was born, I knew I was different. Kids would ask if I wanted to draw with them, and while they drew Barney, I drew vectors and gradients. And they would laugh and close the circle, and I’d be in the middle of the classroom alone with my pencil, not understanding.” He closed his eyes, trying not to relive the memories, but they were there, clear as day, glistening as if brand new. “The way the human brain is wired, people reject things they don’t understand. And nobody understands me. So they all rejected me.” He sighed. This was where it got to the sore spot. “When I was little, my parents would come home from their menial labor jobs at five o’clock. And sometimes they’d be fun and exciting, and they’d play chess with me, and pretend to understand the things that I’d programmed their computer to do. But sometimes they’d be topsy-turvy, and fires would be blazing in their eyes, and they’d glare at me as if I was some kind of imposter in their perfect life. And they’d slap my face and throw glass things at my head, and sometimes if I resisted, they’d throw me against the wall and twist my arm till I cried.” He shuddered. “So I always tried to be good, to cook dinner and have the house nice and neat, so that maybe fun mommy and daddy would come home instead of mean mommy and daddy. But as I got older, fun mommy and daddy came less and less. And then, after my tenth birthday, they stopped coming.”

“And I heard them talking at night sometimes, about how they wished that they could just have a nice, sweet, normal little boy. Then they’d argue over whose fault it was that instead they were stuck with this monster, this thing. They thought I was cursed, you know. They thought I was some punishment from God.” Zack felt something wet on his cheek, but he wiped it angrily on his sleeve before his brain had even fully processed it.

“And the kids, my parents, they all pushed me away. I tried to make conversation, and they called me a freak. Freak,” he repeated softly, the word that had become a second name for him his entire life, the syllable so familiar on his tongue. “So I stopped trying. I made a promise to myself that I’d never open up to anyone, because I knew there was no one else in the world like me. And I just stopped talking to them. I closed off.”

“And then once, in fifth grade, they gave us all IQ tests. And for once I was actually hopeful, as I walked into the testing room, that maybe I wasn’t so different after all, that maybe all my misery was mounted on an illusion.” He sighed. “The second highest score in the class was less than a quarter of my score. Technically, all the other kids in my class are closer to slugs than to me. So I just trudged through life trying to shut them all out. Because I knew I’d have something they’d never have, a gift they could never get if they tried. But behind everything that I tried to convince myself, I knew the truth. They had loads of stuff that I could never have. Love. Friends. Family. And people who accepted them for what they were instead of rejecting them for what they weren’t. And even though I managed to convince my conscious mind otherwise, I knew that if I could, I would trade my brain for that in a heartbeat.”

He paused to wipe his face again. “And I hate it. I hate being so different, so alien. I hate watching couples making out in the hallway, and knowing I’ll never have that because of what I am. I hate hearing people talk about me, that I’m arrogant about my brain. I’m not, really. It’s just all that I have. I hate having to sit through all these classes ‘learning’ things I’ve known since kindergarten. But where else am I going to go? My parents won’t let me go home. And no nucleophsyic firm is going to hire a scrawny kid with a knack for numbers. And I hate having to dumb everything that I say down to a level that people will comprehend, and I hate coming up with ideas, theories, and answers to all of life’s questions that I can never explain because no one will understand.”

He paused again. “But then I met this girl. She was beautiful, and sweet…and she wasn’t like the others. She didn’t push me away, but she didn’t fawn over me either. She was the one person I could be myself around, and she would at least pretend to understand. She was like my safe harbor, where I could go after a bad day. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. But she disappeared at a dance when the clock struck midnight…and left nothing but this.” He held up the locket he’d snatched. “And every day I thought of her, and longed for her company. But when I found her…she pushed me away, like everyone else.”

Zack sank into his chair. “So now you have my story. That good enough for you? Does that fulfill your standards of ‘problems’? Does that seem like a ‘hard life’ to you?” He didn’t feel like talking anymore. Whatever happened next would happen next. He’d done his part. With nothing but misery from years of loneliness etched into his eyes, he held out the locket, open palmed. “You’re the only one that has the key to this,” he whispered. “Will you unlock my locket?”

[nofarisnotfar]

Oh. My. God. That was all that was running through her head. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak, she couldn't think. She felt powerless, like a vegetable, so in shock with something that has happened she just weren't able to function. All right... she had to shake this off. Behind Zack Charming was an actual human being... or at least, a tortured shell of one. And she couldn't even believe the words she had said before. She felt so stupid, so insensitive, so completely oblivious to the world around her... now, it was time to make things right.

"I don't even... I don't even know what to say," She whispered quietly. "First of all, I need to say that I'm a total idiot for saying... what I said to you. I just... I didn't know. I can't even believe... what you've been thorugh. I'm really sorry. I can't even begin to think you'd forgive me." She paused, pain in her voice. "Second, being smart really isnt' a bad thing. Some people would kill for your brains, Zack. People would kill for all the scholarships that you definatley will get. And third... I just can't even believe you chose me... out of all the people you could. I'm just cleaning lady... that's all I am. That's all people think of me. I don't think I'll ever know... why you chose the cleaning lady to fall in love with. I didn't think I'd ever have a chance... I felt pathetic when I fell in love with you." Her voice turned into almost a whisper when she said, "That locket is most definatley yours now. And of course I'll unlock it."

She calmy touched the key to the locket... which she had always worn beside it. She gently took it off, and unlocked it... revealing the picture of her and her mother when Annabelle was merely three, Annabelle missing her front tooth, smiling wide. As insane as it seemed... to her, the people in the picture seemed happier than they ever had. It seemed to her as if her mother was smiling extra hard, as if... she knew something great had just happened.

[ZACK CHARMING]

Zack stood up and walked slowly towards the door. Looks like my work is done here. He sighed as, book under one arm, he placed his hand on the doorknob. "Hey," he called, "please don't tell anyone what I just told you. I don't need the entire city pitying me." I'm not like you, he added silently. He slipped the locket back over his head and tucked it under his shirt, right where it belonged.

He would've stayed longer, but right now all he wanted was to be alone. He needed some serenity and solitude so he could think. Minutes ago, he'd shredded the barriers around his mind that had blocked the terrible memories from his consciousness. Now, he needed time to reposition them, to capture the images now running rampant in his brain and force them out.

Zackabelle. It seemed to roll off the tongue. Not quite Brangelina, but it would do.

As he opened the door, something occurred to him. A neuron lit up in his brain, suddenly, like a match striking against a box. He would smack himself later for not thinking of this before. "Annabelle," he asked with his usual air of confidence, but an underlying lining of timidness. "Will you go to the winter dance with me?"

[nofarisnotfar]

"Hey," "please don't tell anyone what I just told you. I don't need the entire city pitying me."

Oh god. She knew just who he was referring to in this situation... her. It angered her a little that he thought this... she could just tell he was. She wished she could take back that whole situation... Then again, it would never have led up to him opening up to her... and him telling her he loved her... Hmmmm... maybe she didn't wish she could take it back. But still, it bugged her... she had just told him that stuff to show him how important that locket was to her... which he had kept anyway, completely disregarding what she thought... She figured she wouldn't mention it. He'd had enough on his mind. "Dont worry... I won't." She answered.

"Annabelle," "Will you go to the winter dance with me?"

Without thinking about it, she immideatley answered a quick, "Of course I will." But thinking back on the last dance with him, she remebered the little dilemma... 12 o'clock. Her stepmother... she'd, of course, have to sneak out. And her stepmother got back at 12, as always... "But... I'd have to run off again at 12... actually before then. I was so lucky last time that she was late..." She tried her best to keep out what she figured Zack felt was "bragging about her misery" .

[ZACK CHARMING]

Wiped of all energy, all resolve or motivation to do anything anymore, Zack shook his head. "I don't care. Do whatever you want. I just want..." his voice trailed off and he shook his head. He didn't even know what he just wanted. He didn't know anything anymore.

"I...I'm sorry that you have to...you know." He wiped his face again. he was a mess. "I mean, everyone thinks I'm a big-headed bastard. And I guess...I guess I deserve it." Lord. He was such a god damn fucked up kid. Was it his past? Had his parents done this to him? Was it just written into his DNA? "But I...I don't know any other way. I don't know how else to do things. It's just like saying please and thank you, good morning or goodnight. I have to be a jerk. Even when I wish I could just act decent."

He paused. "But hope people don't...you know...look down on you for this. Because of me. I just wish...I don't even know. I love you, Annabelle."

He opened the door and walked out, closing it gently behind him. Tears careened softly down his face as he walked towards the dorm. It wasn't until he was halfway up the stairs that he realized he'd left his math book back on the library table. But at this point, he didn't even care.