Post by hbghost on Nov 12, 2010 21:50:06 GMT -5
Dear Diary,
Got pushed around again today. The usual. Lunch line, hallways, classroom, repeat... It all really sucks. I'm surprised I survived this long, especially with the whole issue with the mask and the voices in my head. Am I hallucinating that? Wait... can you even hallucinate a voice? It's possible, isn't it? Hallucinating is when you experience something that doesn't exist. Well, does the voice in my head exist? I sure hope it does, or else I would be crazy. And I don't like being called crazy.
Anyway, so I ran off to the gym today because I didn't want anyone else to tease me. I knew I would get pushed around somehow if there were people around so I would have to go somewhere alone. But it turns out I wasn't alone, since I met this girl there named Darcy. She's a very pretty girl, and she's very outgoing. She's on the cheerleading team and apparently she's very good at it. But in some ways she's not a cheerleader because when she saw me while she was practicing, she came up and talked to me and she was very nice. Cheerleaders aren't usually very nice to me. They just push me around just like the guys do, but it's especially worse because it's very humiliating when it's in public and the fact that it's bad for a guy to hit a girl. Mom taught me that when I was younger. She said I have to be tough, but I have to have a soft side as well so I don't scare everyone away. I know what she means now. People like Drake think they're tough and they act like it just to be noticed, but in reality, they just scare everyone else away and then have no friends. At least, that's how I see it, but it's probably different. It usually is.
So anyway, Darcy talks to me for a while, and she says she likes my mask. She LIKES my MASK. At first, I thought it was a really stupid trick just to expose the fact that I was stupid but she genuinely meant it. She liked my mask. And she wanted to try it on herself. It looked really good on her. Perhaps if we become friends we could have matching masks and then I wouldn't be so lonely.
Now I don't feel so sad anymore. Must try to remember what classes Darcy is in so I can keep in contact with her.
But wait... I still have Kat. Kat, the person I've always wanted to be with. But does she really love me? She's always denying that we're in a relationship. She's always denying that we were always meant to be together. If I even think about being with Darcy, then I have betrayed Kat... I would betray her, even though we were meant to be together forever... I just don't think it would be right. I'll update this as this goes along, because I don't think things are going to be nice and smooth anymore...
- Eric
Got pushed around again today. The usual. Lunch line, hallways, classroom, repeat... It all really sucks. I'm surprised I survived this long, especially with the whole issue with the mask and the voices in my head. Am I hallucinating that? Wait... can you even hallucinate a voice? It's possible, isn't it? Hallucinating is when you experience something that doesn't exist. Well, does the voice in my head exist? I sure hope it does, or else I would be crazy. And I don't like being called crazy.
Anyway, so I ran off to the gym today because I didn't want anyone else to tease me. I knew I would get pushed around somehow if there were people around so I would have to go somewhere alone. But it turns out I wasn't alone, since I met this girl there named Darcy. She's a very pretty girl, and she's very outgoing. She's on the cheerleading team and apparently she's very good at it. But in some ways she's not a cheerleader because when she saw me while she was practicing, she came up and talked to me and she was very nice. Cheerleaders aren't usually very nice to me. They just push me around just like the guys do, but it's especially worse because it's very humiliating when it's in public and the fact that it's bad for a guy to hit a girl. Mom taught me that when I was younger. She said I have to be tough, but I have to have a soft side as well so I don't scare everyone away. I know what she means now. People like Drake think they're tough and they act like it just to be noticed, but in reality, they just scare everyone else away and then have no friends. At least, that's how I see it, but it's probably different. It usually is.
So anyway, Darcy talks to me for a while, and she says she likes my mask. She LIKES my MASK. At first, I thought it was a really stupid trick just to expose the fact that I was stupid but she genuinely meant it. She liked my mask. And she wanted to try it on herself. It looked really good on her. Perhaps if we become friends we could have matching masks and then I wouldn't be so lonely.
Now I don't feel so sad anymore. Must try to remember what classes Darcy is in so I can keep in contact with her.
But wait... I still have Kat. Kat, the person I've always wanted to be with. But does she really love me? She's always denying that we're in a relationship. She's always denying that we were always meant to be together. If I even think about being with Darcy, then I have betrayed Kat... I would betray her, even though we were meant to be together forever... I just don't think it would be right. I'll update this as this goes along, because I don't think things are going to be nice and smooth anymore...
- Eric
