Let it out, Your fairy godmother wants to know

[rebecca]

In case you didn't know, There's a newspaper with an advice column. So what you do, is you simple rant to your fairy godmother. Whether she gets back to you or not is completely up to her ;D

Have fun!

EX: (and this is with a completely non-existent character)

Dear Fairgodmother,

I think I may have accidentally maybe slightly possibly killed someone on accident. Where's the best place to hide the body?

Forever yours,

I. M. Innocent.

[rose]

Oh, gosh, this looks like fun. XD


Dear Fairygodmother,

I think my long-term boyfriend left me to run away with a lady made out of snow. D: We've been friends for, like, forever, but now it's like I don't know him anymore. What should I do to cope with the loss? Should I go after him?

Yours,
Gerda

[BECKY CARLSON]

Dear Fairy Godmother,

So i happen to be just a nice, fun-loving girl on the fly. What happens when I get bogged down by some kind of horrible, oppressive man that i happen to know for a FACT was cheating on me? Was I right to deface his car and key the sides after posting malicious things on his slutty lover's facebook page? I feel like I may be in some danger, because this guy may or may not have access to a couple guns.

Do you know of anywhere I would be able to lay low for a while?

Yours truly,
Love in Distress

[patricia1]

Dear Fairy Godmother,

Have you ever heard of flowers? They're these awful little creatures that die when it's cold out and then they come back alive when it's warm. And I hate them. I hate them so much that when I see them it makes me want to die. Every time I see them, they just remind me of how long I've lived on this awful earth with no purpose. So how do I stop it? How can I get rid of them? I just want them all to die! Is that really too much to ask of the world!?

Sincerely,

Letsal Keel Fullowers

[patriciaisdrizella]

Dear Fairy Godmother,

Even though I know I'm like, hot and all that, I admit that sometimes I can be kind of bitchy. But it's not like I would ever physically hurt someone or anything - I stick to insults and rumors and all that. But people don't get that I just do it because I don't know how to be nice. No one's ever been nice to me, so how am I supposed to know how to be nice to anyone else. But even though I've like, tried, every time I do something out of the ordinary, people just laugh at me or tell me I'm a bitch or a slut or a whore or something like that. And I'm sick of it. Nobody wants me here, nobody cares about me. I was sent of to freaking boarding school, damnit! Do you think my parents care about me? NO. Do I have friends? Not really - just people that I hang around and try to talk to. But none of them are friends like the kind I used to have, before... well, before.

And I'm just sick of trying, you know? Like, I guess maybe smoking and drinking did something to me, or just made me realize something, but now I know that I don't have a purpose here. It would be better for everyone if I was just gone. Nobody'd even care if I died, except for me, probably. If I... kill myself, then I'll be able to get away from everything. Nobody will be able to bother me anymore. Do I have the right idea here? Is killing myself the right thing? It's not like I'd stab myself... I'd just... OD, you know?

Sincerely Yours,
Drugged and Confused

[DR. FINN THOMAS]

OMG! Dear Fairy Godmother!

So like, there's this guy, and I like, totally like, think he likes me! And he's so cute and adorable and dreamy and he looks juuuuuuust like Taylor Pattinson! But there's just one problem....he doesn't like Justin Beiber. OMGGGGG....

JUST KIDDING. Hey Hoe, I just killed a bitch from calculus class. Which teacher do you think would be easiest to frame? Besides the chemistry and AP biology teacher. C'mon, c'mon, gimme somethin'.

-Don't Gotta Name

[CHARLEMAGNE FLETCHER]

Dear Fairy Godmother,

Isn't it funny to start a letter with "dear"? I've never met you. It seems like something you'd use intimately, so perhaps I should have started it with just "Fairy Godmother," or "Esteemed Fairy Godmother." I would never want to start a letter with "To Whom It May Concern." That sounds so...stuffy, eeheehee.

But enough arsing about, hm? I do have a legitimate request or two. And maybe a riddle. Do Fairy Godmothers like riddles? I hope you like cats. I have seven. Do they eat Fairy Godmothers? I hope not.

First, here's a riddle. "At night they come without being fetched, and by day they are lost without being stolen. What are they?"

Are you lost yet?

Regardless, I was merely curious if you knew of any good stalking techniques I wasn't already aware of. You see, I believe I'm developing somewhat of a fixation...


HeWhoStalks.[/font]