I Messed Up {Rhys}

[safetypinalert3]

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Monitors beeped around the woman on the bed, tracking the drip flowing steadily into her veins. She was laying on the bed, somewhat propped up, her hands turned face up. Two needles in one arm, putting fluids into her system, while trying to help her keep her nausea down. Another monitor tracked her heart rate steadily, and there was a fetal monitor pushed to the side, the cords dropped, abandonded.

In the hand of the arm lacking needles, there was a small hat in her hands. One of those soft, knitted caps babies wore when they came home. Of course…regardless of life or death, her baby was too small to wear it. However, she asked for one. She needed it. She needed it to remind her of the grave mistake she made, that caused one life to end before it began, and nearly made her lose her own.

Pink and black hair splayed out on the pillow behind her head, and she held very still. A hospital gown was draped on her body. She wasn’t looking quite so sick anymore. Her color was that peachy glow, her lips weren’t cracked anymore. She looked healthier, however something in her brown eyes were long gone. As though Adeen were no longer present, lost in her own mind.

The woman inhaled, and let out a breath slowly. There was a covered trey of food next to her, that remained untouched. The room was painfully silent, except for the machines beeping. There was no one else in the room, except for her; and there was a butterfly hanging on the door of her room, and a butterfly above her bed. It was a common sign of the hospital, that a mother has just lost something precious to them.

Another butterfly lay on the floor, the plastic snapped into pieces. When a nurse came in to check on her, Adeen only looked at the nurse, and tightened her lips, and sighed. She wanted Rhys to come through those doors. To forgive him, and ask for forgiveness. For everything. This wasn’t entirely Candace’s fault. Candace didn’t encourage the drugs into her system, or shove the drinks down her throat.

Her own mistake, caused the one thing that could help her fix things with Rhys---to perish. Adeen just kept waiting to see those eyes, that face of his. His warm smell of ginger, and something sweet. The way his hands, large even to her long fingers, seemed to completely cover her hands, and hold her tight. Her fingers tightened, curling them and squeezing the small cap in her hand, a shuddering breath being drawn in. She messed up so badly. If she would have just forgiven him, and talked to him in person…this all could have been avoided.

Tags: Trey / Rhys, Adeen / Olley
Outfit:Butterfly, fly away.
Song:And I don't wanna miss a thing...

[RHYS SPRINTER]

The walk up to her hospital room from the doctor's private office was a long one. He'd finally managed to locate the secret stash Adeen kept in her bedroom, and ran it up to the doctor as asked. He wasn't sure why they needed it, since they could just flush her system either way, but he wasn't a doctor. The older man had sat with him a while, after Rhys had blindly stumbled out the door, speaking to him softly, though Rhys couldn't, for the life of him, remember hearing what he'd said. After hearing the man's apologies, the explanations as to why and how the pregnancy had failed, his head had disconnected itself from his body, his soul slipping from of it's earthly bonds and hovering above him, above the wreck he'd become, a broken shell of a man slipping to the floor because his world had just been turned on it's ear.

Pregnancy[/b].

That Adeen had been carrying, that there was a tiny, genetic combination of both he and her alive, for a short while, living, and then gone before it could be properly appreciated broke something within him. He hadn't the sense, or the strength, to be angry. It required too much energy to just breathe, to not break out in screams because just how much more was he supposed to take?

He'd moved off the floor what felt like hours later, somehow recalling direction he wasn't sure had ever been given to him or simply following the faint trail of empty, aching pain that filled the gaping hole in his heart as he moved. Not that he was conscious of anything around him, and more than once a nurse would run into him, concerned for his well-being, only to be completely ignored. Deep within the recesses of his being, Rhys knew only one person could possibly feel as much pain as he was at that moment, and if he just trusted himself, he'd find her.

And he did.

The door to her room was wide open, and for a minute he could only stare at the thin figure spread out on the bed, unmoving. Her hair was splayed across the pillow, color stark against the plain white, her skin still pale and slightly see-through, much like the last time he had seen her. She was cleaner now, looked more healthy than she had in a while, he dimly realized. She looked about the same as she had the day he saw her in the mall.

The memory of the panic he'd felt, the bubbling joy then confusion as she'd run away echoed in his mind, and Rhys moved into the room, sluggishly. He was suddenly aware of a hand on his arm, the firm grip keeping him steady as he swayed before realizing his balance was off. he shrugged them off weakly, stumbling forward till he was inches away from the bed. Rhys wanted to scream, to cry, to shake someone or break something, but found he couldn't move. Instead, he was stuck staring down at the face that had first captured his heart nearly a year ago in a skating rink, of all places. Found himself wishing for the sparkle to come back into those eyes.

And then he sank forward, falling to his knees and pressing his face to the curve of her side. The crisp, sterile scent of hospital flooded his senses, but Rhys found he couldn't care.

"'M sorry."

[safetypinalert3]

The footsteps. She was use to those. The nurses bustling in silently, checking all the moniters, her drips, everything. So she didn't turn her head when she heard the footsteps shuffle in again. She was lost in her own world, the one in her mind, trying to figure out what she'd do, or say. For the first time in what felt like so long, she had a clear, right head. And was aware of every thought she was making; even though they felt disjointed and broken.

Oh, those eyes were familiar. They stopped her breath for a moment, because they were the same eyes Rhys had. The eyes that seemed to see through her, read her every thought. That felt like he could see her pulse beating under her skin, and the electricity in her brain. When those eyes lowered, and she felt the warmth of the head against her side, all her thoughts seemed to speed up and finally piece together.

Rhys was here.
In the maternity ward.

Adeen's breath seemed to shake her entire body, and her arm draped over the back of his shoulders, her fingers curling in his shirt tightly. She felt like her heart was being ripped out all over again. She wanted to writhe, and scream. There was a strangled sob, her fingers grasping his shirt tightly. She shook her head back and forth repeatedly, her heart rate picking up on the moniters as the tears started spilling out of her eyes again.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I fucked everything up. This was my fault, and I was scared. And I can't...Rhys, I'm sorry." She sputtered out, her other hand with the needles in her wrist, pressed against her face, trying to stop the tears from spilling out.

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[RHYS SPRINTER]

Rhys frowned, confusion clearing away some of the haze he had fallen into. What had happened? Why hadn't she told him? Was th eaddiction really so bad that she'd risk...

Obviously it was, which was why they were where they were now. His arms tightened around her thin frame, and an overwhelming wave of sadness washed over him. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. They weren't supposed to be here.

"You can't do this again." Moving from his current position seemed like too hard a feat, even though he wanted to move. he wanted to crawl up next to Adeen and fuse her to his side. Being so far away from him was what caused this. If she had stayed...if only she had stayed?

"Why do you keep running?" His voice hitched, and rhys struggled to swallow a sob. "Why can't you just stay with me? I love you, dammit! Can't you see that?"

He wasn't sure when the tears came, but he could feel them n his face, streaming from his eyes to burn along his skin before dying in the folds of Adeen's thin hospital gown. He gripped her hard, trying not to break down, even though he wanted so badly to. He had to be strong, for both of them. He had to be the one to bring them out of this, because if he fell, he knew they'd never get back up.

But he wanted to fall. So, so badly.

[safetypinalert3]

Adeen rapidly shook her head, “No, no, not again.” She choked between sobs. She’d lost it all, everything. She didn’t want that to happen. She hadn’t realized the addiction was ruining everyone else around her, and lost her something incredibly precious.

Her sobs halted when he spoke, the sound of his voice breaking her heart. She shook her head again, and shifted in her bed, her hands grasping the side of his face, pressing kisses on his face—across his cheeks, his forehead, and his lips. “I love you too Rhys, I’m not…I can’t.” She tried to catch her breath, her fingers were tight on his face, looking at him with frightened eyes. “T-they said…They said when it’s all out of my system, it’ll…it’ll be safe again, to try.” She placed one hand over her now empty abdomen.

She attempted to smile, though her lips wouldn’t stop trembling, her fingers cold, and holding onto Rhys like he was the only solid thing left in the world. “I-I’m sorry, for everything. N-no more lies, no-no more secrets.” She attempted to keep her voice steady, before letting go of his face. Slowly, and weakly, she moved backwards on the bed, rolling onto her side to make room. She tugged on his arm, trying to lead him up to the bed.

“I fucked u-up, and I’m tired. I don’t want you to cry anymore, I don’t want to live like this anymore. I don’t want any of this to happen, I didn’t want it to happen in the first place.” Her fingers curled in the bed sheets. She sat up ever so slightly, looking down at him, trying to look stronger than she felt. She didn’t want him to walk out that door, not without her. “I’m s-so sorry, please…I just.” She drew her hands away from him, and hid her face in her hands, then pushed them up, clearing her face, drawing in a shaking breath, “I can’t do this anymore. I want to be real, I don’t want to live in lies, and fairy tales anymore. I don’t know where I begin, or what I am, or who I am.” And there went Adeen’s breakdown.

The drugs were still in her system, but not as extreme as she had been. She was conscious, and alive. But it was going to take a while for it to be completely out of her blood system. “I love you so much, and I’m never loved anyone like that before. And I was scared, just so many lies. So many fucking lies.”

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[RHYS SPRINTER]

The desperation in her voice scared him, hit a primal thread deep in the heart of his subconscious and Rhys moaned, surging to his feet to climb up next to her and pull her into his arms. They had both messed up, he knew. Adeen wasn't the only one guilty. He'd been an idiot; he'd tracked her down once, why hadn't he tried again? He knew it was an invasion of her privacy, but he also knew Adeen wasn't the most healthy of the bunch. She'd justified leaving before, how was he to know if she had a valid reason this time?

But all that was past now, and they had to figure out a way to live with this, together, make sense of the mess that had become their lives. Rhys shuddered, squeezing her tightly to him as he relaxed against the headboard. He wanted this to work, God, he wanted it to work.

"Got to get clean first, babe." He wanted out of this fairy tale just as badly as she did, but he couldn't see a way for them to live in the real world if she wasn't truthful with him. And she wanted to be, and that was a start, but it could just be the withdrawal speaking, the need to have something so badly that she'd promise anything to get. It broke his heart, a little, that he wasn't the thing she would go to the end of the earth to have.

"No more lies, please. We can't afford it. Not again."

[safetypinalert3]

Pieces just seemed to fall into the right place when she felt his warmth next to her. Instinctively, she curled in, and wrapped one arm around his chest, and tangled her long legs with his. She let out a shuddering sigh, feeling the first bits of her heart starting to heal.

"I'm going to get clean. I don't want to lose you, again. I just stopped caring, I didn't want to breathe anymore." She hid her face against his side, "I knew what I was doing, I knew I was killing myself. everything had just gone to shit, and I just wanted it all done." Her sobs had died down, but her voice sounded weak.

"No, no more lies...so, I need...this is going to make me sound crazy, but I can prove it, I promise. But I need you to listen to me first." She sat up slightly, and placed her hand on his chest, and furrowed her brows. "Only one other person knows," She said quietly, and took in a deep breath.

She tilted her head back, and blinked back tears. This could go so wrong. He could not believe her, and call in someone, and she'd be locked up forever. Or he would be so scared when she proved it, that he'd go running from her. But if she wanted a life with Rhys, she couldn't keep it a secret, she couldn't shove it in the corner for the rest of her life.

"Arabian Nights--adapted into a modern Disney film. It's a story about a poor boy, who falls in love with a princess. He finds a lamp, and from that stems a genie. He also finds a Magical Carpet," A rough sigh escaped her, her hand shaking on his chest. She shook her head, "It's not just a story. All of them, they're everwhere." Adeen whispered, "Reincarnations of these stories are in our world. They are everywhere, and there's more of them than you could possibly imagine. And they almost all appear to be here, in New York for some reason." She swallowed hard, and withdrew her hand into her lap, picking at her nails, looking at him with frightened brown eyes.

"And I can prove this, I swear it's not a magic trick. I'm the Magic Carpet." She pressed her lips in a thin line, waiting for the weight of her words to settle on him. She looked down for a moment, and crossed her legs, indian style. She let out a soft sigh, and felt her body leave the bed while she lifted slowly and cuatiously into the air, her eyes never leaving his face while she lifted up as high as the cords connecting her to the IV would allow, before settling back down on the bed. "Please, don't scream or freak. Just..it's a part of me." Her thin fingers tapped on her chest, "And...if it scares you, or you can't..believe, then I think you should leave." She murmured quietly, staring down at her hands, unable to look at Rhys anymore; her fingers then tightening on her sheets like a safety blanket.

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[RHYS SPRINTER]

Rhys stared.

His face was sticky from dried tears, eyes gummy from crying with his eyes closed, skin felt hot and cold and too tight and his heart was pounding but barely beating at the same time, and Rhys stared.

Oh. Right.

He shifted, hands reaching into his front right pocket, verbally berating himself as he moved. 'See, about that..." he shifted, heart beginning to pound loudly in his head. He had stuffed the miniature demon in his pocket right before he'd left Adeen's apartment, and for the first ten minutes of the drive it had hit and pinch his thigh in vengeance. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to let him know the little thing was still alive...and angry.

But somewhere along his mad dash through the hospital halls and the slow, death march he had beat to this room, the thing had gone still. Even with Adeen talking about it, 'Carpet' didn't make a single move.

Rhys was going to jail for carpet murder.

"I saw this klittle guy at your apartment...actually helped me find that stash," he murmured. "He's an evil little bastard, though."

There in his palm, sat a tiny, limp, Carpet.

Rhys gulped.

Somehow the emotional tension in the room had fallen flat with Adeen's confession. Yes it was strange, and yes, it sort of freaked him out, but it was kind of hard to dispute the facts when they were yanking at your hair. Never mind the queasy sort of de va ju feeling he had when he thought about these...characters being alive and out there...

[safetypinalert3]

Well. He wasn’t screaming, that was good right? She pressed her lips into a thin line when he pulled out Carpet. Adeen smiled though, and tilted her head. “He’s not evil.” She chuckled, before plucking him from Rhys’ hand by his tassels, and flung the little carpet in the air, “Stop scaring Rhys.” Adeen said sternly, narrowing her eyes at Carpet. As soon as she tossed him into the air, her spun around about their heads, and then collided into Adeen’s cheek brushing against her.

She leaned in, nestling the Carpet like a friendly cat, her nails gently scratching the soft material. Adeen’s hands lowered when she remembered Rhys was there. Carpet gave her dramatic images of being stuffed into Rhys’ pocket. She nodded, and furrowed her brows. “He wants me to tell you that next time you want to bring him somewhere—just ask. That there wasn’t any need to stuff him in there.” She swallowed hard, trying to make a joke out of it.

“I wanted to tell you---when we went bungee jumping, all I wanted to do was fly. Show you what it was like. And as cheesy as it sounds, we still could, sometime. Carpet can possess a larger carpet…hence why I have so many of them in my home. He picks them out like clothes.” She explained quietly, doing her best not to look at Rhys. She opened her palm, Carpet coming to a rest in her hand. She kept the casual, friendly air—however there was a set in her shoulders, and a nervous tone in her voice.

“That night I went to your house…I flew there. And when you walked away from me, I flew after you. The skating rink, when it looked like I got the hang of it, I was floating. When I ran from you at the mall, I was flying there too. I wanted to tell you everything.” She murmured, letting go of Carpet who floated to a stop on top of the TV. She leaned forward, her body slowly floating closer to Rhys, as easy as breathing. “T-that’s really all there is to it. Nothing scary, or frightening…” She looked up at him, almost pleading with her eyes.

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[RHYS SPRINTER]

"Well, yeah, I get that."

And he did, but it was a lot harder to keep his secret a secret now that Adeen had basically bared her soul to him. No matter what else happened after this, nothing could top having a fictional storybook character share your soul or something. Not even if she turned out to be his sister in some strange way. Or something.

So Rhys half-lay there, heart doing uncomfortable squeezes as he tried no to physically squirm. After a while he couldn't even meet her eyes, and took to staring around the room. The butterflies intrigued him, and he wanted to know what they were about. "Uhm, new decorating scheme?"

It was lame, and Rhys felt like a right turd after he'd said it. His stomach gave a weird, rude cramp, and he found himself sliding back onto the floors, knees hitting the floor and fingers nervously picking at the sheets. He should just come out and say it. It wasn't that bad, really. He'd only kissed a guy. Nothing serious. Teenagers did that sort of thing all the time, right? Experimenting? Trying to figure out who they were? Rhys shifted, face flaming al over again, first at the memory of the really, really awkward second before he'd thrown Jamie out, and then at having to recount the whole incident to Adeen. Somehow, he'd prefer to have a bigger, stranger secret to share. This was just plain embarrassing.

"I should tell you," He said, facing the mattress and refusing to look up. "The thing I told you that night about that random person down my the docks? Not, it didn't, what happened, really..." Rhys heaved a sigh, sinking lower on his legs and fighting back the sting of tears trying to make themselves free.

"There was this guy I met online, who was a bit of a jerk. He found out who I was, and then the next day he turned up at my place. I freaked, thinking the photogs had seen him, and dragged him inside. Stupid, I know." he ran a hand over his face, and through his hair, thinking hard and trying not to. This was going to end so badly. So, so so badly. "We got to talking, I found out he was an idiot, a dealer and a fighter who like the feel of pain, and I got on him for that. No one should be hurting themselves, no matter what they'd gone through, you know? And I told him how I should kick his butt on principle cuz drugs are just wack... he laughed at me, and changed the subject." And this was the hard part, the bit that would freak her out, piss her off, and he'd get thrown out of the hospital for upsetting a recovering patient. Tears flooded his eyes and Rhys let them fall, since fighting them was useless. "He, I found out he was bisexual, which I didn't even know was possible, but it is, and then I rushed to change cuz I was basically in pj's, just a undershirt and sweats, and then he laughed at me again, and when I came out he teased me for a bit, and then, then..." He took a deep breath and shivered, his heart breaking already at the pain he knew would come. "He kissed me. I swear I didn't plan it and I shoved him away as soon as he did and I kicked him out, Adeen, I swear! i kicked him out and locked the door and I went to brush my teeth and I don't want him, I swear. I know I lied when I told you what had happened, but I couldn't let you know I'd been so stupid. Please, please, please," his fingers tightened in the sheets. "I don't want to lose you. I screwed up I know, but please don't make me leave..."

[safetypinalert3]

Adeen watched him look around the room, at the butterflies, and when he asked if it was a new decorating scheme--she wanted to scream again. "The nurses put them in the hospital rooms of the women who miscarried. Some story, or something." She said quietly, sounding the most sad she ever had. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she furrowed her brows when Rhys slid out of the bed.

When he started to tell her he lied, her heart and stomach both sank. Adeen knew what he was going to say, before he said it, and she just felt sicker, and sicker with each word. She felt her face prickle with angry heat, and her fingers curled into fists. She watched Rhys with blank eyes for a moment, and drew in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh, and dropped her head for a moment.

When her head went down, Carpet rushed foward. His tassles swatted Rhys in the face. He pinched the pan, tugged on his hair, and rammed into his head several times. And Adeen didn't do much to stop him. Some point during the very angry attack from the little fabric, she lifted her head, looking at him. Her teeth were biting down on her lower lip, and tears were cascading out of her eyes again. She tightened her fingers around her middle, hugging herself tightly while she watched Carpet take out its tiny frustration.

"Enough." She said, before reaching out and pulling the flailing fabric from Rhys. The size of the carpet grew in her arms, to about the size of a pillow, and wrapped its tassels about her shoulders, and she hugged the thing, much like a teddy bear. Before it popped and returned to a small size, resting on her shoulder, and seeming to glare a Rhys.

"Compared to lying about my drug habit,"[/b[ She choked out, her fingers angrily rubbing at her face, "And me losing our baby," She sniffed roughly, and dropped her hands into her lap, her lips pressed tightly together, "It's not that bad." She had done worse, than lie about a kiss. She lifted her eyes at him, and then narrowed them. "If we end up trying to make this work--you can't be around him alone anymore." She said stiffly, and almost in a bratty, childish way. She was going to have to make big decisions, and comprimises--but she wasn't going to be the only one doing them.

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[RHYS SPRINTER]

And then he was crying all over again, albeit for an entirely different reason.

"Hell no," he said thickly, roughly shaking his head. When he said he'd never wanted to see the man again he meant it. he'd taken Carpet's abuse, strange though it was, accepting it as part of Adeen's hurt she couldn't dole out herself. "I don't want him. It was so weird, I swear never again."

And he meant it. Adeen to him was like water in a desert, after one had been wandering around looking for it for years. He was never letting her go. For the moment, it seemed she had forgiven him, or at least decided not to kill him. That was more than he could ask for, and because she'd given him an inch, Rhys swore he'd never give her a reason to take it back.

But had he made her fee bad? He peeked up at her carefully when her sad, almost broken voice registered to him. Shit, he'd made her cry. "I'm sorry!" the broken sob burst out of him before he could think to stop it. "I'm sorry, Deeny, I'm so sorry. I don't even know how it happened I swear. And, and, with the baby, it was a mistake. You didn't know, so you can't be held accountable for things you didn't know, right?" He leaned closer, reaching across to tentatively intertwine their fingers. "Drugs. drugs are evil, and make people do strange things. We can't blame you for that. I'm sure if you knew you'd have stopped, somehow. You're not cruel, babe. You wouldn't have killed him, her on purpose."

He leaned closer, almost stretching across the bed, stroking his fingers across the back of her hand. If she wanted to, Adeen could reach up and smack him one, and he'd deserve it, he knew. What he'd done was nearly unforgivable. He sniffled, feeling the tear tracks cool on his face, and chanced another look up at the woman he really did love. "But we can make this work, right?" he asked, heart almost not daring to hope. "We're going to be OK, right?"

[safetypinalert3]

Adeen's fingers were loose with his. Her throat tight, and with the weight of his words settling on her shoulders--she wanted to be done. She wished her heart would stop, that she could just nod and smile. But Cleo knew him---and the truth would only bite her in the ass again one day. Adeen's other hand went to her face, just wanting to die right then and there. She released Rhys hand, as much as she wanted to cling to his warmth--but his love, and kindness--she didn't deserve it.

Adeen shrunk away from Rhys again, curling her arms around herself, and pulling her knees up. "I knew." She said in a tny voice, not looking Rhys in the face. Her tangled, and somewhat dirty pink and black hair made a curtain around her face. "I found out I was pregnant, and a day after. My dad called." Adeen was shaking again, and the beeps on the moniter were now frantic.

"I panicked, hearing his voice again just reminded me of everything, and I crashed." She gasped, like she was struggling for air. Like the weight of her guilt and sadness were crushing her lungs, threatning to suffocate her. She buried her face into her thin hands, to prevent the temptation of looking at Rhys, while she hunched over, tears gathering in her hands. "I was scared that I'd be a parent like him. I was scared, and I ran. I just wanted it to be gone, so I could pretend nothing ever happened." She gasped again, her breath coming in short pants while she started to hyperveniliate, her head spinning.

[RHYS SPRINTER]

Ice. He was covered, encased in ice.

Or maybe he was dead, and by some strange twist of fate had been sentenced to spend eternity staring at a crying, broken Adeen.

For the longest minute, nothing touched him. Not the bed and sheets beneath his torso and arms, not the sound of the heart monitor beeping into the silence, nothing. All he knew, all he saw, was Adeen, curled in on himself and sobbing.

"You knew?" His voice came from a deep, rugged place within him and Rhys blinked, sending hot, salty tears cascading down his face and this time he didn't try to stop them, didn't feel them, in fact, he was so numb and lifeless. "You knew?"

All his thoughts of mistakes and helping her work through the withdrawal phase and then building back up the life they had, they life they had wanted together flew from his mind. He didn't understand anything, not the fear her father's random phone call had lit in her, or why she hadn't said anything to him, ever, nor why she hadn't thought to think about the child that had been living inside her. The doctor had said three months, two weeks. She had to have known for at last a month. That meant she had known before she ran. When things between them was still fine, if not as good as he would have liked.

"Shit Adeen." He stood, his legs feeling barely there and achingly heavy all at once, turning to stumble to the wall opposite. He crashed into it, fists threatening to crack and break straight through the paneling, before his knees gave out and he slammed to his knees, spent, heavy, pounding head coming to rest on the not-cool-enough wall and he let the sobs come.

There was nothing else he could do at that moment. What had been done had already been done. Their baby was gone, Adeen had already ripped out his heart for the second time and shredded it into tiny, minuscule pieces. He'd already poured his entire heart out to her, so what else? There was no alternative, no path on which to move forward, because everything was just so screwed up.

"Why would you do that?" He couldn't turn around, couldn't force his body to move from where he was, crying on the floor. Every part of him felt weak and supercharged, and he felt his head start to swim. "Why the hell would you do that?" He was still more broken that angry, as some small part of his brain told him he should be. He knew drugs completely screwed with a person's head, so maybe she had not really been in her right mind for some time. But that was no excuse. He was sure there had to have been some moment of clarity. She showed up at his place at three a. m. to tell him how much of a jerk he was, surely she could have thrown that in his face then? And then before that, she had found out Candace was pregnant. Couldn't she have just dropped that in there, nice and subtle like?

His heart ached, and Rhys bent further, pressing his forehead to the cold floor and clutching hands in his hair. How, how, how, how, how could he deal with this? He could barely think, could barely breathe, and all he wanted to do was curl up here and die. The morgue was somewhere downstairs, right? It wouldn't be too far, nor too much trouble to move him.

Because this would kill him, surely.

[safetypinalert3]

His tone frightened her the most. And the way he looked at her like he wasn’t really seeing her. She watched him, rooted to her spot when he stumbled away from her, and crashed into the wall like a bird with a broken wing. Again—his voice made her flinch, and it frightened her again, causing her to suck in a tiny gasp. Her eyes were wide open now, watching him, heavy, hot tears falling out of her puffy, red eyes.

“I-I was scared, Rhys.” She said in a tiny voice that didn’t sound like hers. “I…I’ve always heard..that…that the children o-of abused parents…tur-turn out to be like t-that themselves.” She hiccupped, her entire body visibly shaking, “A-and I couldn’t…You were so excited for Candace’s—a-and you were re-ready to just…b-be there for her.” She shook her head, “I-I didn’t belong.” She gasped, her words hardy making sense.

She watched him slide further, and further down, into agony on the floor. Nervously, she glanced up at the door, before lifting out of bed. She wheeled her IV with her while she floated to Rhys. Slowly, she kneeled down on the floor, her fingertips reaching to tentatively touch his forehead, the back of her fingers brushing his cheek. She was trying to stay calm, but her jaw was visibly clenched, and she was biting down on her lip, with tears falling from her eyes every time she blinked.

“I’m so sorry.” She said, barely above a whisper, her voice broken and trembling, knowing that ‘I’m sorry’ wouldn’t fix everything.

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