waking up ~ j

[JAMIE SHOEMAKER]

Jamie wrinkled his nose at the smell of antiseptic. It filled his nose like some ugly person had decided to stick a cotton ball full of it up his nostrils. I made him painful up his eyes and see white. Again the white stucco ceiling of a hospital room greeted him coldly. He didn’t remember much of the past few days excluding a lot of pain. He moved his head slightly to the side to see a sleeping angel in the chair next to him. J was here. He then looked to the left and saw his heart monitor. He avoided looking at his injuries. He wondered if he would be a frequent visitor of this hospital. The thought made him sick but not because of the pain but because he knew J would have to endure it with him. He couldn’t do anything to make her leave. She was there for him whenever. She was his guardian angel but Jamie knew she was human also. No one like her should have to endure what he’s enduring. The peaceful face of J made him silently cry. He hoped she wouldn’t wake up. Worry still seemed to hit her as she slept. He hated seeing a frown on her face and worry in her eyes. He remember slightly that is was the last he saw of her before he woke up seeing red and screaming in pain. He wondered if she was there for that and frowned knowing she probably was.

Finally Jamie looked down at himself. Having narrowly escaped death, his injuries weren’t that bad. Definitely worse that his first fight but not too tragic. His right leg and arm were wrapped up in with casts. He bit his lip knowing he couldn’t feel them. Hopefully, he thought, That wasn’t permanent. He was grateful for it then knowing that his whole right side was a mess of shattered bones when he first came in. He probably looked like he got hit by a truck. Jamie wished really. It’d seem less stupid than volunteering to get his ass kicked. He knew once J woke up he was going to have a nice talk from both her and the cricket. That was weird for Jamie. He was Pinocchio or a reincarnate of him. The little boy had been floating around in his head since Jamie was born just waiting for the right time to pop out and announce himself. And as if the world was actually two miles long, J was the helpful cricket guide. I was all just too much to take in at that moment. He knew the boys wouldn’t expect him back for a while but how long would they wait? He couldn’t think about that now. Jamie closed his eyes and attempted to doze back off.

It wasn’t until he started to feel hot needles in his finger tips did his eyes snap back open. He reached for the nurse’s button and pressed it wincing at the loud buzzing noise it made. He didn’t want to wake up J but he’d rather it be that than the cold shivering sound of his painful screaming.

[JEMISSA CROCKET]

Jemissa had been there. After the ambulance had picked Jamie up, she drove the red car back to the lot it had been in and walked to the hospital. It was then she had realized she was wearing her slippers, the same ones she met Jamie in, which is why she didn't run. That would not have ended well for her, though it was almost more painful to have to wait for her walking pace to actually get her anywhere.

When she actually walked in to the ER, she was met by tears, and not just her own. There were plenty of family members of recent patients that were just as scared as she was. The screams of pain coming from the hidden area didn't help, and it made her breath catch in her throat. Was that Jamie? She didn't want to know. But every time one made it's way to her ears, she froze, and then trembled when it was over. The tears were nonstop, and soon she didn't even acknowledge the water on her face and clothes. It wasn't welcomed, but she made no effort to get rid of it.

A few painful hours later, a nurse came out and called Jamie's name. That might have been the worst part, not knowing whether the news would be good or tragic. When she said that he was moved into the ICU, Jemissa collapsed in a wave of emotion, barely able to breathe. Jamie would be okay. He would be alive. But how much pain would he have to go through? After she got back on her slippered feet and the nurse made sure she was okay, she was led to the room Jamie was, thinking she was prepared.

Wrong.

He was out, of course, and that was fine. Better he wouldn't have to suffer for a while. But he would suffer, she could see that. The injuries were blaringly obvious and it made her physically hurt to see it. But that could have just been the exahaustion getting to her. She hadn't slept at all in the ER, and not before the call either. Jiminy was lurking in her head, not knowing what to do to make it better. She had sat in the unconfortable hospital chairs for a bit, just thinking, when finally she gave up and let herself drift to sleep.

It seemed like a frighteningly long time later when Jemissa woke up to the sound of beeping. Jamie. Jamie was awake and in pain. Sitting up automatically, she looked around wildly for the nurse. Where was the nurse? With every second that ticked by, she grew more frustrated. Jemissa herself couldn't take the pain away and the nurse wasn't coming. But maybe she was just impatient, because the nurse came in a few moments later with another bag of medicine that would eventually make it's way into her best friend's bloodstream. Morphine, it looked like. She wasn't exactly skilled in the medical field, as many times as she'd been in the hospital. Of course, that was when she overdosed or had alcohol poisoning or whatever, so maybe she did know, but didn't remember.

Jemissa avoided looking at Jamie. She wasn't mad at him, of course, she just couldn't stand to see him like this. After the nurse left, she still didn't have the courage to say anything. She just looked at the heart monitor and reminded herself that it was still beeping, still running.

Running.

That's what they had to do as soon as Jamie was okay to travel. She had decided sometime between the tears and the nightmares. They couldn't stay in a city where this could and would happen to him, to them really. She didn't know where, either. Maybe Georgia, though she had no ties there. Or maybe to her rich-family-on-her-late-mother's-side location. Just somewhere they could be happy and not have to worry about anything.

And for that to happen, they needed to go to the happiest place on Earth. Where everything was hakuna matata.

Maybe it was the exhaustion, because she was still really tired, but Jemissa couldn't think of where that could be at the moment.

[JAMIE SHOEMAKER]

Jamie looked up at the nurse and back at J. She was awake and filled with fear. He noticed she didn’t look at him. But how could she? He looked like death to be honest.Jamie couldn’t even look at himself. It just reminded him of how he got this way. He felt the pain slowly go away but taking his mind with it. Whatever they had him on was strong and most likely addictive. He frowned internally remember his last experience with pain killers. The withdrawal was hell. If he was in his right mind, Jamie would tell them about his addiction. But all he could do was attempt to stay awake and gaze at the fearful face of his friend. He lifted a heavy hand and placed it on top of hers. It was all he could do at the moment. He really hated that his arm was broken. His leg would have been fine. You can give hugs sitting down right? Without his arm he could only give awkward one-armed hugs. Those were dumb. And if he had two hands he could do wheelchair races with J. She could run and he’d try and catch up.

He sighed deeply and pulled himself out of the day dream. Slowly he sat up and looked into J’s eyes. Hugs were his way of showing affection. Showing that he cared enough to take a moment to embrace all of you. There were other ways of showing affection though. He found himself looking at the pained smile on J’s lips. Something that he’d seen before and no doubt would see again. He couldn’t understand why she had to go through this with him. A quick friendship wasn’t worth all this pain. Maybe there was something more...

“Jiminy?” Pinocchio whispered sitting at the edge of Jamie’s hospital bed. He broke the silence without a worry. Just like Jamie would have done before all of this. Or was that just Pinocchio? Was the little puppet the only good he had in him? If Pinocchio were to leave would he go back to being Peter? The cold-hearted guy with an addictive personality and no backbone? It was an unhappy thought. But Pinocchio assured him he wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. Maybe Pinocchio could teach him a few things along the way. First thing he had to do was get out. All of the faces of the murderous gang were at that gathering in the alleyway. They might as well have been wearing nametags. Jamie painfully remembered each one of them. He could get J to call the police and it would be over. Though if they missed someone or the police found out about Jamie’s record then it was no good. He’d have to run. And take his dad with him. Oh joy.

“J?” he croaked. “Run away with me? ...well, wheel away in my case.”

[JEMISSA CROCKET]

Jemissa knew about addiction. Granted, even if she really knew all about Jamie's addiction to pain killer,s she probably wouldn't have told them she he wouldn't have to suffer anyways. But Jemissa knew how it was to need something so much that, if you didn't get it, you would die. It was a horrible thing, to be addicted to something and to be unable to control it, but that was how it was way back when (though not so long ago) in Trenton, when she was the wildest on the party scene in the small town.

And it's how she was now, with Jamie.

It only confused her about the whole concept. Somehow it made her feel like it wasn't always bad. Addiction. Maybe sometimes, it could be a good thing.

She felt Jamie's eyes on her and could no longer resist. Looking him straight in the eyes, she opened her mouth, about to break the silence, when Pinocchio intervened instead. Which was perfectly okay, because honestly, Jemissa had no idea what she was going to say.

"Pinoch?" The cricket appeared and hopped onto the bed next to the puppet boy, then on his shoulder. He seemed to not notice the injured boy that was so important to his host, though she knew Jiminy cared. how could he not care about his best friend's host? If something even more terrible than this happened, what would they do? Honestly the question left her wondering, but not right then. No, she had something else on her mind. The happiest place on Earth....

Then she remembered, right as Jamie spoke. It appeared they had come to the same conclusion. Which meant it had to be the right one, right? There was no other way she or Jamie could solve this. Not while in this dangerous place, at least.

She surprisingly found herself laughing a little at the joke, even though the context wasn't funny. That was what she loved about Jamie Shoemaker. Even in tough times, he still remained Jamie.

"Of course." To the happiest place on Earth. "I think we should go to Disney. After you're cleared, of course." Holding up her arm, she pointed to the area that muscle or flab would be, but instead here was basically nothing. "I need to build up some muscles anyways, and I'm sure wheeling you around will be no easy task." Michevious glint shining behind the tears, Jemissa remained strong. How could she not?

[/justify]

[JAMIE SHOEMAKER]

“Disney... like Disney World?” A smile broke out on Jamie’s face. He’d always wanted to go but his dad could never afford anything so extravagant when he was younger and when he got older it just kinda stuck with him. Jamie was certain he’d never told J about this. Though sometimes he didn’t even have to tell her anything. They had like twin telepathy or something. But not twins... best friends?

As Jamie saw the shining eyes of his savior, the world soulmate whisked across his thoughts. He stuffed it back down and looked up at the little boy on his shoulder. Pinocchio gave Jamie a curious look like he could hear what Jamie was thinking.

Pinocchio tilted his head a little and then giggled as the cricket sat on his shoulder just like always. It was easier to whisper in his ear and tell him what was right and wrong. Even though he was a real boy, Pinocchio still needed the cricket’s help sometimes. He also made things so much funner! “Jiminy! I missed you!” the boy said with a smile that curiously matched Jamie’s.

Jamie furrowed his brow in confusion at the whole deal. It was like he was watching an extremely realistic sequel to Pinocchio. Except, it was real, right? He remembered little of the night of the fight besides the boy. Maybe his brain got messed up and had him seeing things. People did that without drugs right? They actually have to take something to make it go away. Jamie bit his busted lip (ouch!) attempting to think of the word for it. Sc--- some annoyingly big word for crazy. Jamie wasn’t medically crazy though. He was just a bit odd.

Mentally shaking his head, he looked up at J again. She seemed as amused as he was with this. Then with the meds making him pretty dopey he broke in with, “You see them too right?” It made since that they were this storybook famous pair. J was always there for him and they became fast friends. Were the duo the reason for Jamie and J’s duo? It had to be more than that right?

With all these thoughts making his head spin, he sighed softly and pressed his unhurt hand against his temple. “I’m sorry,” he said. It was random, cryptic and extremely Jamie. One part of his new person that wasn’t Pinocchio.

[JEMISSA CROCKET]

"Of course like Disney World. Or 'land. Whichever one you want. I have some money saved up." Jemissa warmed up and felt much better after seeing Jamie smile. That sometimes felt like the only thing she lived for, seeing him smile like that, no matter what the context was. It was kind of ridiculous at this point, really, but it was irreversable and not a bad thing at all, so there.

Jiminy beamed at Pinoch's smile, too, and Jemissa smiled herself at the paralell. "I missed you, too!" Jemissa thought this was ridiculous considering it was only yesterday, yeah? Though it did seem like forever ago and honestly, Jemissa felt like every moment away from Jamie was torture. And they probably meant that while that Jiminy was with Jemissa and Pinocchio was with Jamie, and neither knew about the other.

For a while there, Jemissa had wondered if she were crazy, too. Maybe it was the drugs or something, but she was assured by the smartly-dressed cricket that he was very much real and that there were other storybook people out there, too. She honestly didn't believe him until she met some other awakened character in her first few days at Barrie. She forgot who it was, but Jiminy pointed them out and they talked for a bit and she knew then that she wasn't insane.

So she wasn't surprised when Jamie doubted himself. "Of course I see them. I've had Jiminy with me for years." It seemed like forever, considering she could hardly remember the time before he was around. "He's glad that we found you, I think." She smiled again, but it was more of a comforting smile as opposed to a happy one.

Jemissa was confused, and her expression said so. "What's wrong? Why are you sorry?" she asked. It didn't make sense for him to be sorry. Maybe it was just a lot to deal with or something. She didn't know, and it was strange, because usually, she knew. With Jamie, at least.

[/justify]

[JAMIE SHOEMAKER]

"Of course like Disney World. Or 'land. Whichever one you want. I have some money saved up."

“Disney World. It’s closer,” Jamie said after some thought. “I can help pay too.”

It seemed perfect; going to the place he always dreamed of with the girl of his dreams. Honestly he didn’t know how she put up with him. There were a hundred other guys out there who would want to be with her, but she chose the guy who wouldn’t allow himself to love. Not to mention he was a convict and a bum. Not even the best looking guy either. It really confused Jamie on what girls saw in him. Especially pretty much perfect ones like J, Cleo and Joey. The all wanted to be his friend when they should treat him like Jacob did at the diner. That’s what he expected. That’s maybe even what he wanted. He liked when he wasn’t expected to be much. Then he didn’t let anyone down.

“Jamie, looks sick Jiminy! You think he’ll get better soon?” The boy said with a small frown on his face.

"Of course I see them. I've had Jiminy with me for years."

“Really? Do you know why they’re here? Pinocchio and Jiminy I mean... Why did they choose us?” he really didn’t mind have the boy there. In a way, it was almost like fate provided him with an inner child that he otherwise wouldn’t have had.

"He's glad that we found you, I think."

Jamie could only reflect J’s smile at that statement. There wasn’t really anything else he could say. Of course, Pinocchio was glad. It seemed anything could make that boy happy if you tried hard enough. Jamie just wasn’t sure he deserved all this.

"What's wrong? Why are you sorry?"

He sighed. Jamie wasn’t the best at explaining things like his feelings. They were sometimes even a mystery to him. This time though, everything seemed crystal clear.

“That it had to be me. I mean, Pinocchio should have had some nice guy who worked at Make-A-Wish or Wandering Goose. Not a washed up druggie with a past that keeps catching up with him. He does and you definitely deserve more. I’ve put all of us through hell and not once have you been mad at me or left. You need more than a thank you, J. I just-- I don’t know how you put up with me,” he said in a hoarse voice. It hurt more than a broken rib to think about J leaving, but it was selfish to want her to never go.

[JEMISSA CROCKET]

Jemissa nodded at him choosing Disney World. She had been to Florida before a long, long time ago, and had always kind of wanted to go to California, but that would have to wait. Disney World was perfectly acceptable. And she didn't tell him he didn't have to help pay, mainly because she didn't want to argue right then.

What did she see in him?

Well, that was easy.

She saw someone who was caught up in something he didn't mean to be, even he thought he had meant to at the time. A boy who was expected to grow up too soon by people who didn't have the decency to try and understand him. In a sense, he was innocent, if innocence was judged by intentions. Jemissa tried not to judge by looks, but she didn't have to worry about that with Jamie, because he was all around adorable, from the moment they met. She didn't expect anything from him other than him being him, and she loved him. She knew what it was like to let people you love down, and knew that even the good kids did sometimes, so the loved ones just had to get used to it or at least try and help.

"I don't know why they chose us... Honestly, I don't know if they choose or not. Jiminy hasn't really told me about the process-" she glanced at the cricket, then back at Jamie, "but I know there are others from other fairy tales and stories." She had met a few before, and some were nice, but she knew the villains were here, too.

Jemissa tried not to let herself be filled with regret at all those years of destruction under the guise of good times, but it really wasn't easy. And honestly, regret was okay if you didn't let it control you or allow yourself to believe you could ever change what you've done. All you could do was try and repair what you did, and if you couldn't, that was okay. You weren't God.

"I think he will, Pinoch."

[/b] It wasn't really like Jiminy to be optimistic towards Pinocchio, but Jemissa liked to think it was to help her boost her spirits, too. And it did, if only a little bit. It helped that Jiminy was happy, too, that he found the boy. Even if the puppet had stepped on him (in the original story, at least), he still loved him and wanted to help.

Which meant no matter what Jamie did, he was stuck with Jemissa. Because she was relentless and stubborn and wouldn't give up on him, ever. He had Pinocchio and she had Jiminy, and she highly doubted that the cricket would allow her to separate from him, though she didn't want to, ever.

And that's why she looked so frustrated at what he just said.

"Jamie, everyone has issues..." she began, knowing this would be hell to explain. "You don't think I've had my fair share of problems? I used to be an addict, too." She couldn't quite remember if she had ever told him, but it was out now. "I can't ever be mad at you because it would be stupidly hypocritical of me, and because I'm stubborn and there's no way I'd ever leave even if you asked." With a little smile, she paused before continuing. She actually probably would leave if he outright asked her to, but she would come back. No doubt about that. "I don't need a thank you because I'm obligated to stick with you, because I love you. I put up with you because I love you." She was sounding a little creepy at this point, but she didn't care about that. And I really do, Jamie." Jemissa reached out her hand to squeeze his unhurt one with a soft smile. Maybe it wasn't in the way she should have, or the way he wanted, but she did love him and that was that. [/blockquote][/blockquote][/justify]

[JAMIE SHOEMAKER]

Jamie’s eyes widened. “There’s more of them?” He’d never met any others. “What are they all doing here?” he repeated not to really anyone in particular. He doubted Pinocchio really knew what was going on. After all, he was just a boy.

“Oh boy!” the little puppet boy said in response. His excitement was leaking out to Jamie. He couldn’t help but grin at the duo. They were much like their hosts. Almost. Jamie always felt happier with J around. Even if she was just a tiny--and very pretty--person she made up for it by have a big personality and an even bigger heart.

"Jamie, everyone has issues..."

“Yeah, but...” he started.

"You don't think I've had my fair share of problems? I used to be an addict, too."

That’s when he froze. His mouth closed and the words echoed in the back of his head.

I used to be

an addict too

“What?” he managed blinking back tears. Flashback of all the suffering he had to endure. The long sleepless nights of withdrawal. The physical pain that he couldn’t describe even now. Feeling like you’re being owned by a substance that doesn’t even do anything anymore. You just need it more than you need air. You’ll do anything to get it. Risk anything just to get your fix. And it sucks. It’s sucks so much. Jamie closed his eyes trying to hold himself together.

“You never told me that,” he whispered after a long pause. She understood him more than he even realized. So many questions had popped into his mind that he couldn’t even find a place to start. Who had she lost? What sacrifices did she make? How did she keep from going back. He wanted to hear her story and he wanted to hold her hand as she told it. Maybe even wipe away her tears. All the things that he needed but never got.

"I don't need a thank you because I'm obligated to stick with you, because I love you. I put up with you because I love you. And I really do, Jamie."

She just said she loved him. She said it twice. She did right? It wasn’t some hallucination. Why couldn’t he speak? His mouth went dry and he opened it and shut it. If Pinocchio wasn’t so distracted he’d probably call Jamie, Cleo... like the fish.... in the book... Not actually Cleo. (Funny that they have the same name though....) Wait, he needed to pay attention. Jamie closed his mouth and squeezed her hand back. A small smile appeared on his face and then he blushed. How girly.

[JEMISSA CROCKET]

Jemissa nodded. "All around the city. I'm not sure what's happening or what's bringing them here, but they're here." She shrugged, not knowing what else to say, really.

Oh, so uh. She hadn't told him. This was sufficiently awkward. Jemissa blinked as she looked at him, seeming as though he had turned into ice. A chill passed through the room, too, as if she was about to tell a ghost story. And, if you looked at it the right way, she was.

But how much did she really have to say? She didn't want to bore him with her life story, but she had to explain to him why. Why she had gotten into what she had, why she had left Trenton, why she had never told Jamie in the first place.

So she chose her words carefully as she continued. "I grew up in a small town, and there really wasn't much to do... The only thing that really happened was Cynthia Collins threw parties since she was the only person who had a pool." It sounded pretty stupid so far. But she pressed on. "Everything that happened with our generation of that town happened at those parties. All of the fights, the breakups, the rumors... They all started there. We'd talk about it in hushed voices at school, so practically every conversation was quiet... And one of the people they talked about most was, well, me." She breathed, embarrassed and ashamed.

"I was that girl who drank the most and got drunk the fastest. I was the girl who danced on tables and started drama with other girls' men and acted completely trashy. The alcohol wasn't so bad at first, but the hangovers didn't really go away. I tried to stop drinking but it never stuck." Looking away, she blinked back tears. She didn't deserve to cry, it was her choices that made up this story.

"And then my junior year of high school, some kids got the idea to bring little orange bottles from their parents' medicine cabinets."

Pausing, she let that sink in to her own mind, and continued.

"Of course, I was willing to try anything. And soon I couldn't get enough... I'm suprised it didn't happen sooner... I had just graduated high school. But I OD'd and ended up in the hospital, I don't know how. But that wasn't the worst part. My parents knew about what I was doing the whole time and couldn't stop me. The cops were lazy and never did anything. We had this whole agreement going on, but I had taken it too far..." She rubbed her forehead and couldn't bear to look at Jamie.

"I could have died, and they were trying to stop me from putting myself in that position again. But I got defensive and we argued and I left. I packed a little bag of a few pieces of clothing and a lot of those bottles and climbed out my window. And I never looked back, not once."

She wished it ended there, because she could feel herself rambling on and Jemissa didn't want that, but it wasn't. "I hitch-hiked all the way to New York. Some of the rides weren't free." She didn't want to explain what that meant. "But eventually I managed to steal their wallets afterwards so I had more money to buy what I had run out of.[/b]

"I squatted in abandoned apartment complexes. I stole what money I could and bought what I could replace without a prescription. And then Jiminy showed up intending to give me a reality check, but I thought he was a hallucination at first so I didn't listen. He put his foot down and got me clean, but then the police found me and told me that my parents had gotten in a car accident while out looking for me and died." Yeah, the tears weren't going to stnd for this anymore.

"They had left me a college fund that paid my tuition at Barrie and I got a job to pay for my textbooks and everything else."

After a long pause, she sighed. "I regret everything I've done, but I can't change it. I can only make it better. And that's by protecting you, Jamie. After all, you're my wonderwall, silly." She loved that song a lot and wondered if he knew it. "I love you because you've been down the road I have and you know what it's like. We're cut from the same cloth and I feel like I have to make sure you're safe. I feel like I hover too much, but can you understand?" Her voice broke a little at the end and was quiet. She squeezed his hand a bit and finally stopped talking.