"Hellloooooooo Ladies" (Regan)

[DARIUS HARRISBURG]

So for probably the seven-fucking-teenth time in a row, Darius was walking around New York City at 1-ish in the morning, looking for a joint to crash.

This never worked out, either. He really needed to like, plan out where the fuck he was going to go instead of just like, turning down random streets looking for some quality clubbing with some smokin’ hot studs. After all, hot fucking studs like the Dare Hare deserved some fucking hot bazoongas.

God fucking damnit, it was so much easier when his bro planned this shit for him.

Darius stumbled around another corner into a dimly lit alleyway, lurching into the first doorway he saw. He’d been hitting up bars since midnight-ish, but it was getting pretty fucking late, and he needed to get back to his dorm. Preferably with a betty in tow. The last girl he’d gotten in his dorm room was…well, he didn’t fucking think about her. This was a new night. Darius put the thought aside, striding down the hallway and letting the door slam behind him like the fucking BAMF that he was.

“Identification please.” A fucking bouncer thug with shades and a white shirt tapped Darius on the shoulder, consequently interrupting his swag. Darius spun around, feeling the rage rise in his chest. You did not interrupt the Dare Hare’s swag.

“Well excuse the shit outta me, asswipe.” Darius reached forward and flicked the dipshit’s shades. “You interruptin’ my bamfin, man?”

“Sir, you must be over the age of-“

“Bro, I don’t think you understand.” Darius rubbed his chin, wondering how the hell he could put this delicately. “I got chicks waiting to pound me in there, okay? I don’t need no ID. I’m Darius fucking Harrisburg. And anyways.” He nodded, pulling his own stunnas down and making direct eye contact with the fucktard himself. “If I get in there, you know, I may accidentally…forget some shit out here. You feel me, bro?”He reached into his pocket, feeling for the bag of scag that he’d found on the corner earlier.

Before he knew it the scag was gone, and Darius was out on the dance floor, ragin’ like there was no fuckin’ tomorrow. “Well hello there,” he whispered in the ear of the nearest blonde dime, sidling up to her and feeling a little bit sad over his scage. He hadn’t even gotten to fucking try that scag. But whatever.

[DARIUS HARRISBURG]

Darius generally hated the music at these fucking club gigs. Like it was usually about seventeen million fucking deci-whatevers too pussy. Darius Harrisburg didn’t dance to Hannah Slut-Tannah or Justin Shitface-ber. And the volume was always way too fucking quiet. Like, seriously. He wasn’t deaf. Turn the damn tunes up.

But this woofer was alright. This woofer wasn’t fucking around. This woofer was deliverin’ the beat, straight and true. Some good old gangsta rap, the kind that Darius and the D-Diddies jammed to in their own shitholes. Darius moved to the beat, knocking his schlong against whoever happened to be near him, shouting the lyrics as loudly as he could. Damnit, he knew this song. This was his night. This was his fucking world.

Girl, if you got a big back, lemme bend that
Show me where yo friends at, we can flip that
Lemme put you on the game
Lemme put you on the game
I show you where the bloods are, where the crips at
Show you where they flip, crack, where they bitch at
Lemme put you on the game
Lemme put you on the game

Man. Saturday night in New York City. This was the life, bro. There was nothing in the whole fucking world that could make this night any-

“What the fuck! Watch what you’re doing, jackass!”

Darius felt himself being shoved backwards. Shoved fucking backwards! What the fuck was this, shit, exactly? “Yo! Yo! Excuse the fuck outta me!” Darius righted himself quickly, brushing off his shirt. Okay. So a-fucking-pparently he had spilled this bitch’s drink or something. “You don’t shove the Dare Hare! Imma pull a fist on this bitch.” He braced himself. This could get nasty. But he was fucking ready.

“You better go fucking buy me a fucking new drink, goddamn it!”

“Fucking get it yourself!” Darius rolled his eyes and crossed his arms defiantly. The music had stopped around them, and fellow dancers were beginning to gather from all sides. “FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!” chorused through the room, and Darius and this dumb bitch were in the middle of an enormous ring of people. God damnit, this was just like the Alleyway. “I ain’t nobody’s maid!” he hollered back, tossing his dreads behind one shoulder.

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TAG; Regan
SONG; "Poison" Alice Cooper. In-Post is “Put You On the Game” by The Game
CREDITS; Template by Hana~ of CAUTION2.0!
Remove this credit, and she'll send the vampires after you D:

[DARIUS HARRISBURG]

God damn, Darius Harrisburg was not getting this bitch a drink. And who exactly did she think she was? Obama bin Laden, that like, scientologist guy who ran Africa or whatever? No. This chick was not Obama bin fucking Laden, and she sure as hell didn’t run shit. And the Dare Hare was not getting her a fucking drink. Had he not fucking made that clear? He was not getting this bitch a-

“That was a fucking brand new whiskey. I hadn’t gotten one sip before your dumb ass self sspilled it!”

Oh no. Oh no she didn’t. This shit was getting real. This shit was getting so fucking real. “Bitch, who you be callin’ a dumbass?” The club lights were on at this point. Darius shoved his way out of the crowd of giggling hoes to stand face to face with the little whoreslut chick in the middle of the circle.

“FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”

“You wouldn’t dare touch me! I swear to fucking God, you lay one finger on me, and I will fuck your shit up!”

Oh man. Darius Harrisburg was mad. He was pissed. He was so fucking pissed. He was the Dare Hare, the baller, the hustler, the casa-fucking-nova! You didn’t talk back to that shit. Darius did that slow grapevine shit around the circle, makin’ his trademark “you no mess wi’ me” gesture. This shit was getting real. SO fucking real. “You better watch yourself, fucking skank!” he hollered in her ear as she passed, “or Imma crush yo’ punk ass! Yeah, that’s right!”

“So if you ever want to use that penis again—if it’s even been used—I suggest you buy me a new drink!”

“OOOOOOOOOOOO!”The crowd roared. Even the fucking barmaid had stopped pouring drinks to watch this shit, lazy little fuck. Darius stomped a foot on the ground. Bitches and hoes. Bitches and hoes. This fuckin’ hoebag did not know when the fuck to shut her trap. Jesus fucking shit, he could tell that things were going to start getting’ mighty ugly ‘round these parts. “So go buy my goddamned drink, and I won’t seriously fuck your shit up”

“And what if I don’t?” Darius stood defiantly. “What you gonna do, girl? What the fuck you gonna do?” He scanned her profile again. Damn, those were quite some-no. She was a fucking rude little skeezer. “You gonna shank me with a barbie? Go al l Powerpuff girl on my ass?”

Fucking hell it was hot in here. “One of you little shits wanna grab me some booze or somethin’?” he called to the audience.

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TAG; Regan
SONG; "Poison" Alice Cooper. In-Post is “Put You On the Game” by The Game
CREDITS; Template by Hana~ of CAUTION2.0!
Remove this credit, and she'll send the vampires after you D:

[DARIUS HARRISBURG]

God damn he was so fucking mad right now. He could literally kill the shit out of this damn whore right here. So, so, so pissed at this chick. Who the fuck she think she was? Who the actual fuck?

He needed to calm the hell down. He needed some honey.

Darius reached into his pocket, swallowing a quick shot of honey from the tiny jar and spoon dangling from his thigh. Damn, that shit was good. So damn good. Fucking sex itself could not even compare with this shit. He felt the amazing, fucking beautiful deuce coursing through his system, until his breathing gradually slowed to its normal pace. Alright. Okay. No shivs right now. No glocks, no AK-47s. He could calm the fuck down now. It was all good. He had honey, his best bro, inside him now.

Good. This was good. Honey solved everything.

“I called you a dumbass, dumbass! If you hadn’t been dancing like a hippo having a seizure, we wouldn’t be having this damn problem right now!”

He felt his temper flaring up again, but he quelled it. It was okay. It was okay. It was all good. This bitch didn’t got nothin’ on the Dare Hare. The Dare Hare was the shit. The Dare Hare was legend. How many fucking hoes had he fucking beaten in the past week? Six? Seven? Depending on whether or not he counted that fucking red-headed bitch…screw it, he wasn’t good at math. But he didn’t need to sithere screamin’ his ass off at this damn bitch here. The Dare Hare was fly as a fucking eagle, and he could take this woman by storm if he wanted to.

“What am I going to do? Do you really want me to show you my ‘barbie doll’ moves?”

No more screaming. He didn’t need no damn screamin’ in this here town. Nope, he was goin’ all- “JESUS FUCKING COCK SHIT!” Darius doubled the fuck over instinctively, feeling the sharp jab against his slong, then righted himself. “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK YOU THINK YOU BE…”

He gritted his grills and shook his head. No. Nope. No pain. The Dare Hare wasn’t some pussy-ass cocksucking weakling. The Dare Hare was a bro. He was a playa. He twisted his grimace into a sleazy grin. “Babe, I be wantin’ me some o’ them Barbie doll moves aaaalllll night long.” He winked, twirling his honey spoon between his fingers. He breathed evenly, leaning coolly against the bar.

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TAG; Regan
SONG; "Poison" Alice Cooper. In-Post is “Put You On the Game” by The Game
CREDITS; Template by Hana~ of CAUTION2.0!
Remove this credit, and she'll send the vampires after you D:

[DARIUS HARRISBURG]

Darius tossed the spoon up in the air, catching it between his pinky and his ring finger like a fucking boss. Because he was a boss. God, he was such a fucking boss. And this hoe totez wanted his nuts. All the way. All the fucking way.

And why was this bitch all pissed off all of a sudden? Drink…something about her booze. The honey had a way of muting his bullshit hammered memories. God, Darius needed some fucking booze right about now. Maybe he’d buy himself a booze. And one for the hoebag too. Yeah.

But the girl was blinking at him, all confused and shit. Da fuck was she confused about? The Dare Hare wasn’t a confusing dude, at least, as far as he knew. Maybe it was the honey. Well that wasn’t fucking right. Honey was the fucking shit in every sense of the goddamn word. “Honey,” he explained, gesturing to the jar beneath his arm. “This is…sex. It’s fucking sex. So good.” That was the only way to describe it. Honey was…no. He couldn’t fucking even.

“If you would have just said sorry and replaced my drink, you might have gotten to see them without having to try so hard,” she snapped.

Da fuck was she talkin’ ‘bout now? OH. Barbie doll moves. Goodness fucking gracious. “Well well well, no need to get so damn touchy there, Barb.” He grinned, glancing backwards at the bar. He was bored of this. The Dare Hare had a short attention span. He needed some new surroundings. And by surroundings, he meant that damn slut. Fuck was she bangin’. Bangin’ enough for six bread. “Yo!” He signaled the bro behind the bar. “Booze for the chick! On me!” He turned back to the hoe. “You happy girl?” he asked, grinning mischievously. Fuck yes.

“Give me a reason to give you such an honor,” she crossed her arms expectantly.

“Oh. Oh, I can give you a reason. I can give you so many fucking reasons…you won’t even believe.” He winked slyly, reaching forward slowly as if in a dream.

And then her lips were on his, and bitches were cheering from millions of miles away, and he felt the back of the counter digging into his booty as he was pressed against the counter, and he felt himself heating up like a fucking blush or some shit as she pressed against him. His surroundings and the bustle of the bar blurred into a haze as they staggered drunkenly towards the back room, Darius snagging the two waiting beers on the way out.

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TAG; Regan
SONG; "Poison" Alice Cooper. In-Post is “Put You On the Game” by The Game
CREDITS; Template by Hana~ of CAUTION2.0!
Remove this credit, and she'll send the vampires after you D:

[DARIUS HARRISBURG]

“Mmmmm. Mmmmmphhh. Mmmmmmmm.” It was all the shit that he wanted to fucking say. Fuck, man. Love. Damnit, this was the best. Like fucking honey in a jar made of honey in a world made of really cheap and really good bud. This was the way that life was meant to fucking be for the Dare Hare. Beers in one arm and a hot chick in the other. Saturday night in New York City. Fucking night life, man. So good. So good.

They reached the back room and Darius wrapped his fingers around the booze, taking a swig. This was so good. So, so, so good. Damn, he totally wanted this every night. This fucking girl, or any fucking girl, really. A hot one. A bangin’ one. With jugs. Bigass jugs.

“So what exactly are you proposing we do?”

Da fuck was she talking about now? The booze was fucking with his hearing and shit. “Idunno girl,” he whispered, grinning broadly and pulling off his cap, shaking his dreads back. “Whatever the fuck you wanna do.”
(OOC: We should talk about where this is going. How much are you comfortable writing?)

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TAG; Regan
SONG; "Poison" Alice Cooper. In-Post is “Put You On the Game” by The Game
CREDITS; Template by Hana~ of CAUTION2.0!
Remove this credit, and she'll send the vampires after you D:

[DARIUS HARRISBURG]

Darius took a deep breath and fucking chugged the shit out of his booze. He licked his lips as the final drop trickled through his mouth. Delish. This, honey, big jugs, and boinking were the Dare Hare’s god damn sustenance. He felt her fingers on his chest, and grasped them in his, feeling the sweat that had been fucking jizzing around on his palms smear with hers. To think that he and this chick had been going at each other’s fucking throats a few minutes ago, and now here they were, in the back room of the club, playing tonsil hockey like nobody’s business. He felt his back slam against the wall behind him, and allowed his head to drop backwards as it was sucked passionately.

“Well. What I want,” she whispered, running her finger up his chest, “Is to get out of here.”

Her voice was soft and wispy, pleasant like cream on his ears. “Oooh baby,” he whispered hoarsely back, panting slightly, because man, this shit was exhausting. “Let’s split. Let’s split, girl, right here, right now. Let’s get the fuck out of this joint and never come back. Let's hit the damn town.” His voice quavered, displaying the fact that he was obviously plastered as all hell. H e could feel himself hating this goddamn shit club already. It was way too fucking hot in this joint, and the booze was way too fucking expensive. Nope, the Dare Hare was peacing this shindig with a pretty ill ho by his side.

“My place or yours?”

Darius grinned. “Mine.” The Dare Hare wasn’t about to go home to some trick’s shit apartment. Nope, she was coming to his god damn dorm, and they were gonna have the best fucking night.

“Oh, hey,” he whispered, as he leaned in to French her again. “Don’t think I caught the name.”

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TAG; Regan
SONG; "Poison" Alice Cooper. In-Post is “Put You On the Game” by The Game
CREDITS; Template by Hana~ of CAUTION2.0!
Remove this credit, and she'll send the vampires after you D:

[DARIUS HARRISBURG]

This back room was as hot as Megan Fox and Selena Gomez combined. Darius rested his dreads against the wall behind him, tapping his foot to the beat of the music in the main room. Sure, it was goddamn shit music. But this shindig could have played Justin fucking Bieber for all he was listening to right now. He had some booze, some honey, some bong, and a hot booty call. He was all fucking set.

“The sooner we get out of here,” she smiled, “The sooner you get to see my…barbie doll moves,”

”Barbie doll moves.” Darius grinned, repeating what she had said, and kissing her passionately again. Fuck, she was a damn good kisser. Darius wondered how…well, he’d see.

”Darius Harrisburg.” Darius laughed, brushing a lock of hair from her face, feeling the sweat pour down his forehead. This chick ain’t seen nothin’ yet, he thought to himself drunkenly, laughing again. Ain’t seen none of my shit yet. ”Friends call me The Dare Hare.”

He felt himself being pulled through the club, images swimming before him in a fucking plastered haze. ”Let’s get this party the fuck on,” he whispered to her as he stepped into a cab. They were just getting fucking started here, too. The night had barely begun.

OOC: Erika, I'm thinking this thread is over. Unless there was something else you wanted to happen?