I just want to be with you... {Max}

[ALEXANDER FORTESCUE]

Alex was feeling a bit...down.

And that was unusual for him. Alex did not typically feel down. He was usually bright, cheerful, and full of himself, parading around either drunk or happy (most likely both) and letting everyone know it. It was a sort of obnoxious quality of his that everyone could recognize. It also made it very obvious when he wasn't in the best mood.

Recent events had shaken Alex just a bit. What with the arrival of this...new girl, not to mention he had Max still hadn't really put a label on what they were, and...not to mention his brother...for the first time in his life, Alexander Fortescue was feeling stressed out. It was making him snappish and impatient. He wasn't as impishly good-natured as he used to be, and there was something a little dark in his eyes that just reeked of something being wrong.

He had taken to spending more time by himself, whereas before he was always more than eager to engage with one of his fellow Truands. He was spending more and more time out of his apartment, but not always in the sewers. He (for once) was caught up on his schoolwork because it gave him some sort of distraction from himself.

He was so...

Lost right now.

He sat alone on the floor of the abandoned sewer, looking up at the passageway out. He'd been trying to decide whether or not to leave for nearly a half an hour. If Max saw that he'd left so quickly, he might...be upset or something... But no, he wouldn't be. He was Max. Max was almost never upset.

And it wasn't like Alex was mad at Max or didn't like him anymore. He just...had a lot on his mind.

He didn't want to lose him. Or anyone.

But it seemed like he might have to.

[MAXIMUS PETULENGRO]

Max had been going through some drastic changes in his life. Before, he was only out for himself. He loved the excitement, the freedom, the thrill of not knowing where he'd be the next day. But now... Now it would seem he had acquired a family. And, when his family was unhappy, he was unhappy.

Alex wasn't happy.

Pulling back the curtain of his 'bedroom, he watched Alex stare at the doorway, trying to contemplate leaving or not. His presence had been scarce lately, to the great annoyance of Max. At first he tried to act like it didn't bother him. But it did, which was weird. But Max, being the stubborn little shit that he was, bit back the annoyance. If Alex wanted to be here, he'd be here. But... he wasn't sticking around. At this rate, Alex would just vanish forever.

It was not a feeling that made Max's gut feel nice.

Slinking out of his room silently, he crept up behind Alex, quiet as a mouse. As often was the case when Max was in the tunnels, he was shirtless, with a pair of nice fitting jeans he had gotten from somewhere hanging off his hips lazily.

Alex looked so sad. And Max couldn't help feeling that he had done that.

Kneeling down behind Alex, Max wrapped his arms around him, inhaling. He smelled... like cookies and dirt. It was such a nice, earthy, sweet smell. Max buried his head into Alex neck, resting there affectionately. It was not a prelude, no. This was what he wanted. Just to... cuddle.

Oh hell... when did that start?

Whenever it did, it felt rather nice, so Max melted into it. When he spoke, his voice vibrated on Alex's neck, his arms wrapping around him a little tighter. "Don't go." It wasn't a plea, but it wasn't an order. Or maybe it was, one or the other. Max couldn't tell anymore.

[ALEXANDER FORTESCUE]

Maybe...maybe Max would be better off without him, anyway. After all, Alex had been raised in a different world...he went to school, he had a bank account (though it was locked to him), he had an apartment (that he rarely stayed in). Max had never said anything to make Alex think that he somehow disapproved of him, but Aisha had in the beginning, and Alex was having trouble letting those accusations go.

On top of that, there was his brother. Julius. He knew Max hated Julius. And Alex's own resentment towards his brother was growing, but there was nothing he could do to free himself from Julius's grip - not for another year, at least. He didn't want to get Max involved in that sort of bullshit...

Things would probably be better for Max if Alex just got out of his life...or something...

Alex was so lost in this train of thought that he didn't notice Max sneaking up behind him until he felt his bare arms around him. He inhaled sharply in surprise. Max had never been a big cuddler, and neither had Alex, so the young blonde took this as a bot of a surprise.

But...it was a nice surprise...

After his initial shock, Alex relaxed in Max's arms, unable to thwart a smile as he rested his face in Alex's neck. He closed his eyes for a moment before he felt Max's words vibrating against his skin.

"Don't go."

Max bit his lip to hide a wider smile, feeling a swell of positive emotion in his stomach. He was silent for a moment, stumbling over his words, before he responded.

"Okay."

He reached back and stroked Max's hair gently, settling comfortably into his grasp.

[MAXIMUS PETULENGRO]

"Okay."

Max's body instantly relaxed, though he had not even realized that he was tense. Letting out a sigh, he could feel his creeping breath bounce off from Alex's neck and back into his face. The feel of Alex's hand touching Max's hair was also soothing. In fact, everything right now, was good. Everything was right.

He enveloped around Alex comfortably, and was surprised to find that it was a perfect fit. Something drew him to Alex. He couldn't understand it. Maybe that, deep down, despite the different raising, they were really the same. Max was quite the little narcissist. It wasn't out of the realm of possibilities. It mad a small smile appear on Max's face.

Whatever it was that made this work, it did.

That's what was important.

Apart of Max, though he would never admit it, even under threat of torture, was scared of Alex. He didn't like bad emotions, like guilt and jealousy. But he did feel guilty when Alex would look at him, his baby-blue eyes stung because Max had come across distant or snappish. And he did feel jealousy when Alex would go to school, possibly meeting people better suited for him than Max. Better influences. But the good outweighed that. The comfort of Alex's weight leaning against him when they would smoke out by the fire. The calm that would come over Max when they would talk, whether it was something deep or shallow.

It was the first time in Max's life where he actually cared about someone elses's happiness above his own.

That was it.

He wanted Alex to be happy.

Max looked up, examining Alex's profile, before resting his lips on Alex's cheek. Not really so much a kiss, as just laying his lips there. "Angel?" He said softly, his eyes soft, his awareness for their surroundings oddly low. "You seem unhappy." There was a sadness to Max's voice, almost a guilt. Would Alex leave? Like Leo did, all those years ago? "Tell me how to make it better." Again, it was unclear if this was an order or a plea. Maybe Max would just stop trying to decipher his feelings. He wasn't very good at it, anyways. Just let it be what it is.

Yeah. That sounded like a plan.

[ALEXANDER FORTESCUE]

This...felt remarkably okay. Alex had never been a big cuddler; for all those no-strings-attached one-night-stand sort of relationships he had, never once had he engaged in cuddling. The last time he remembered cuddling seriously with someone was with Julius when he was...probably seven, while his older brother read him a bedtime story in French.

And God knew those days were long over.

But Max...Alex cared about Max. Like Max, he had never put anyone before himself. Always looking out for number one. Because he was the one that mattered, right? He called the shots. He was amazing and gorgeous and could get money out of his brother whenever he needed it.

Well, those days were behind him.

He had Max now, and, by some miracle of nature, he'd come to lo--care about Max more even than himself. And that was remarkable for an egotistical brat like Alex.

He felt Max's breath on his face and sighed, continuing to stroke his hair and trying to relax, trying to get his troubles to go away. Around Max, things like Julius and making sure his grades were decent and thinking about how he hadn't had a drink for a long time and it was giving him headaches didn't really matter. What mattered was that he had Max. Max was...soothing. He was like a warm bath, calming and relaxing. He kept Alex in this...zone when they were close. When he was in that zone, he felt safe, and happy, and untroubled.

Alex loved that vibe. He didn't want to lose it.

He felt Max's lips against his cheek and turned a little pink.

"Angel?"

That name again. He'd always called him that. Alex secretly loved it.

"You seem unhappy." Max sounded sad. That wasn't right. "Tell me how to make it better."

Alex was silent for a moment, thinking. "I, uh..." he began cautiously after a moment, "I 'ave just...been thinking a lot lately... about... things zat are troublesome. To me." He bit his lip. "I don't mean to seem...gloomy or anyzing."

[MAXIMUS PETULENGRO]

Alex's silence, even for the moment, gave Max pause to dread. What would he say? Was Max, and Max's lifestyle, the problem? "I, uh..." He was collecting his thoughts, as one of Max's arms unwinded itself from around Alex, leaving his hand free to tug gently at the girls at the base of his closest friend's neck. "I 'ave just...been thinking a lot lately... about... things zat are troublesome. To me." His way of answering so cautiously concerned Max, who was always candid. "I don't mean to seem...gloomy or anyzing."

Max considered for a moment, lacing a lock of Alex's flax hair between his index and middle finger. "No. Not gloomy or analyzing." Max observed quietly. "Just... not happy." Alex's answer could mean so much. It bothered Max. Was it his Brother? Or Aisha? Or Cassie? Or him? Or all of those things? Max couldn't just go around punching anything that bothered Alex in the face, though he dearly wanted to. "These things... Tell me them. I want to help."

Gently, he renestled his face into the crook of Alex's neck, kissing his neck softly. It wasn't a frisky kiss, no. It was a tender, lulling kiss. Perhaps a little bitter that the lulling had to happen. Though, deep down, Max could understand. He wouldn't trust himself, if he didn't think it would be redundant to rob himself. But there was an ache, at the possibility that Alex didn't trust him. An understanding ache, but and ache none-the-less. He was a self-saboteur. When he would become close before, a girl who let him crash on her couch becoming accommodated to his face, Max would promptly end it. Usually in the most dickish way possible.

Not this time.

"I have something for you." Max said, softly, his brown eyes thoughtful. Standing, Max nudged Alex towards his make shift room, a relaxed, but charming crooked grin playing on his lips. "I think you'll like it." He headed for his designated zone, pulling back the thick blue curtain, and lighting the oil lamp on the floor. He waited for the sound of Alex entering before he began digging in his handy trench coat, amd [ulling out a silver, two headed coin.

Leo's coin.

Years before...

A young Max, standing in a room, watching a handsome, wiry youth pack his few belongings. "World's tough kid, don't forget." Leo explained. "But you need to learn to make your own luck." Tossing the little silver coin to Max, Leo grinned widely, overwhelming his thin face. "Just make heads what you want, and flip. You'll always come out on top." And the young Max examined the coin, as Leo ruffled the child's thick brown locks and was out into the cold, hard, world.

And Max was alone.

Present:

Max shook off the memory, pulling out a thick piece of black string from one of his many pockets. "So, this time, answer me honestly. What do you want, Angel?" Max asked, tossing the coin to Alex. "It's all about making your own luck."

[ALEXANDER FORTESCUE]

He didn't want to be this way. Not around Max. But he couldn't get out of this mood, he just...couldn't.

"No. Not gloomy or analyzing. Just... not happy." He could tell Max was distressed that he was upset. He wanted to...be able to verbalize these things that were bothering him, but he was still trying to find the words... "These things... Tell me them. I want to help."

"I want to...tell you. I do. But I do not want to worry you when it isn't necessary...really..." He bit his lip.

The kiss to his neck did its work and lulled him slightly. He enjoyed that feeling, that tenderness that Max displayed toward him. It made him feel...important. And that was usually something he could only do himself. No-one else had ever been too preoccupied with making Alexander Fortescue feel good about himself. He had to do that on his own.

Alex was about to say more when Max got to his feet.

"I have something for you. I think you'll like it."

Alex blinked and followed after him, a bit perplexed, but curious. "Oui?" he inquired. He often kept little quips like that in French because they were so well known.

He entered Max's "room" to the sight of him going through that trenchcoat he loved so much and removing a coin. The blonde blinked, a bit perplexed. Money? Max didn't have much of that to begin to, why would he give it to Alex?

"So, this time, answer me honestly. What do you want, Angel?" Max tossed him the coin, and Alex caught it, turning it over in his hands. Two heads. "It's all about making your own luck."

"I've been...lucky," he admitted. He shuffled his feet a little, mumbling a "Merci" and pressing the coin thoughtfully to his lips. "Well. I guess it's not lucky for your parents to die when you're a baby, but...compared to 'ow I could 'ave turned out..." He sighed. "I just...I worry...I worry about...you, and...Aisha, and...that...new girl..." He was still too nervous about her to call her by name. "N-not in ze same way, of course, I just...I only want to be...good for you, Max." He raked a hand through his hair, irritated with himself. "I want...I want to be good enough...for everyone."

[MAXIMUS PETULENGRO]

Max watched Alex, like his life depended on not moving his eyes from the sweet face. Sweet and troubled. Max wanted to kick himself for not noticing, when they first met. The trouble in Alex's eyes. He had been to distracted with the possibility of another adventurer. It had been a selfish Max. The old Max, though he wasn't entirely sure when the transition was made. It must have been gradual. He watched the cherub speak, his voice quiet, almost like he was ashamed. But of what? That Max had seen through his cheerful facade? Or maybe it wasn't shame. Max certainly wasn't big on talking about his troubles, especially if he thought they might burden his family.

Did Alex think he was a burden.

It certainly sounded so...

Good enough for Max? Good enough for everyone?

Now, Max had a good heart. Of this, those who truly knew him could attest to. Even if Aisha fought him tooth and nail on Babydoll staying with them, she knew his motives were in the right place. Even if he was harsh with Kiddo from time to time, she knew that it was only because Max needed to protect her. Even if Cassie was knew, and thought leaving would be easiest, she had to know that Max wouldn't let anything happen to her. And Alex knew that even if he wasn't reared the same as Aisha or Max, that Max still cared for him.

At least Max had thought he knew that.

But, despite his good heart, Max was selfish by nature. So when Alex said that he wanted to be good enough for everyone, it did not stick out nearly so much being good enough for Max. He wanted to be good enough for Max.

This felt beyond the usual free willy-nilly relationships that Max had encountered in a past. An adventure. A challenge. He'd face it.

Stepping forward, he took the coin from Alex's hand, and began weaving the string around it deftly. "Angel..." Max started, his voice gentle, his brown eyes looking up, showing the necklace he had made, the coins face still visible through the weaving and knots. "Listen to me. Cause I only want to say this once." He stepped closer, tying the string around Alex's neck, the coin sitting between his collar bone. Looking into Alex's blue eyes, Max gave his surest, most soothing, voice. "You couldn't be more perfect for this family. Or for me." For the first time in years, Max felt a warmth touch his cheeks, as a slight pink color filled them.

He was blushing.

Shit.

Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead against Alex's, his Angel, and kissed his bottom lip softly. Though he wasn't exactly keen on the blushing, no matter how faint, he was enduring at the moment, he wouldn't take back a single word.

[ALEXANDER FORTESCUE]

For most of his life, Alexander had been a burden.

He hadn't always known it. Sometimes he was too young. But he was always an imposition, always an impolite and unwanted houseguest wherever he went because he had no home. The house he had been born in was burned to the ground by now, or else inhabited by someone else. His family was dead, or gone, or else Julius. He'd been juggled from foster family to foster family with his brother, and then it had been Julius, Julius, all the time, and he was always doing something wrong, something...

And sometimes, it would occur to him that he was a burden. Lazy. Reckless. Just another mouth to feed, doing nothing to help whoever he was staying with. He'd been a lazy slob while in foster care, whereas Julius was the perfect child. He'd been a lazy slob around Julius, and Julius had grudgingly put up with him. But never in his life had he properly contributed to the well-being of a family.

Until now, of course.

But there had been times, even when he was being a lazy slob, that it occurred to him that he was a useless burden. That people would be happier without him there weighing them down with his selfishness. Sometimes he could brush off that feeling. But sometimes, like today, it lingered and grew, and it drew him absolutely mad.

Was he good enough? Or was he just a burden?

He stared at Max hopelessly.

"Angel..."

Max had taken back the coin, and Alex immediately felt a sense of loss, as if something very important to him was being torn away. He watched him wind the string around it with curiosity.

"Listen to me. Cause I only want to say this once."

He nodded slightly, indicating that he was listening.

"You couldn't be more perfect for this family. Or for me."

Max was blushing, and it occurred to Alex that this would be a good time to tease him, except that he was blushing, too. The weight of the coin fell against his skin, and for once, he felt wanted, he felt important, he felt loved. Their foreheads came together and Max placed an affectionate kiss on his bottom lip, and Alex's heart swelled. He threw his arms around Max's neck and kissed him quickly, but powerfully, before burying his face in his shoulder. His eyes felt a little wet.

"M...merci...merci beaucoup," he choked out. "Max, I..."

He wasn't sure how to say this. He had never said this before.

"Merde..." he swore into Max's neck, tightening his grip on him. "I know I will sound like a complete idiot, and...you are free to push me away, but I need to..." He choked slightly, and took a deep steadying breath.

He pulled back and looked right into Max's eyes.

"Je t'aime."

[MAXIMUS PETULENGRO]

Max couldn't help but let his cocky little grin shine through, as Alex threw his arms around his neck, and pulled Max in for a more determined kiss. Obviously, Max had said the right thing. Which was a rare thing when his words were actually sincere. So. Ten points to Max.

Alex pulled away, his eyes all wet looking. Max had never been the sort who was good with crying. Not because he wasn't the empathetic sort, because he could be. And obviously he was the caring sort. He just never really knew what to do. Though, it was helpful that Alex wasn't sobbing. That would be awkward. In fact, there was only a light sprinkling of tears lining his big, blue, eyes.

It was touching.

"M...merci...merci beaucoup, Max, I..." Max held his Angel's head into his chest, chuckling with good nature, kissing his hair softly. It was nice... in a weird, different, strange way. "Merde..." Max was sure that was a cuss word. He wasn't quite sure which... he needed to learn french. This language barrier thing was starting to become frustrating. Instead, Max just tightened his grip, almost to reassure. "I know I will sound like a complete idiot, and...you are free to push me away, but I need to..." Alex pulled away, and Max couldn't help the curiosity in his eyes. This sounded heavy. "Je t'aime."

Max's eyes widened, and his mouth fell open a bit. Huh. Yeah. No language barrier issues there. He wasn't quite prepared for that, honestly. Not that he was displeased. And he certainly wasn't going to push Alex away... But. Damn. Heavy. It did make it a little easier, in another language, but it was still... intense. No one had ever said that to Max before. He never got close enough before... Okay. Couldn't just stand there, with his mouth hanging open...

His mouth closed.

Okay, one issue down.

Honestly, Max was out of his element. What a day for realizations of a series of firsts. "Wow." Hrm, that cold definitely be taken wrong. Max's brows knitted, like he was concentrating really hard. Because he was. He wanted to give an answer, and he couldn't say no because that was a lie. And yes terrified him. So he pulled Alex closer to him, resting his face in his hair, so as to not have a direct witness to his current brain failing.

He was Max fucking Petulengro! He didn't get tongue tied or shocked.

Of course, a fair argument would be to say he was both tongue tied and shocked at the moment.

You know what voice of reason? Your services aren't fucking wanted right now. Go away.

And with reason gone, Max braved quite honestly the scariest thing he'd ever done in his life. "You too. I mean." Max flinched, his face mouthing various obscenities silently. HE NEEDED HIS SWAGGER BACK! IT WAS COLD AND UNCOMFORTABLE WITHOUT IT DAMMIT! "I mean... I-" Feel the same? Elephant shoes? Olive juice? Less than three him? Fuck, Alex would understand that the words didn't matter so long as the feeling was there, right? No. Even if Alex would understand that, he deserved more. "Iloveyoutoo." Max whispered, feeling... vulnerable.

Yeck.

Okay.

But... he felt lighter. So that was nice. His shoulders relaxed, with the words out, and he felt his usual swagger return to him, his grin reforming on his face, as if he had not just had a strange awkward un-Maxly moment. "Didja really think I was gonna shove you away?" He chuckled, kissing his lover's neck affectionately.

Yeah. This was pretty cool.

[ALEXANDER FORTESCUE]

All his life, Alex had convinced himself that he didn't need approval.

When he was growing up, without a home, without a real family, being juggled through the French foster care system with his older brother, he used to try to please his foster parents. He tried to be good for them, because Julius told him that was how he was supposed to be. A good little boy. God liked good little boys, so he had to be good.

But Alexander was always fantastic at fucking up.

Family after family grew irritated with his trying too hard, and by the time he was seven, Alex had given up on trying to be good for everyone. He didn't need their love or their approval. He didn't need anyone. He had Julius, and Julius would protect him.

As time passed, though, Alex even began to question his brother's love to him.

He had concluded, at that point, that he was loveless. No-one would ever really love him, so he shouldn't even bother trying. He could do whatever the hell he wanted, and it wouldn't affect him either way. People would always end up disliking him, and that was that. Bad attention was better than no attention. So Alex had developed into the reckless, hedonistic character he was today, characterized by his cocky attitude and distinctive lack of shit-giving.

But there was still a part of Alexander, very deep down, that just wanted the love and approval of someone, anyone. And as he looked up at Max with those big blue eyes, there was a silent plea for just that.

"Wow."

Alex tensed a little bit, and his eyes drifted to the ground. He should have known.

"You too. I mean." Alex looked up, a look of confusion crossing his face. "I mean... I-"

He had to hide a smile. It seemed that Max Petulengro had momentarily lost his trademark swagger.

"Iloveyoutoo."

Alex melted, and he felt his eyes close in relief. This...feeling, it was so new. He had never loved anyone before, never felt this strongly about...well, anyone. He'd always been looking out for number one; his priorities, his wants and needs, came first. He never put himself before others because he was the only person he cared about. Number One. Alexander Fortescue.

But Max...

It was different. He would do fucking anything for Max. He would...hell, he would probably die for Max, if he had to. Everything about him, every quirk and smile and quality, was endearing or sexy or annoying-in-a-remarkably-tolerable-way. Max was...perfect. Perfect for him, if nothing else.

He touched the coin resting against his collarbone thoughtfully.

"Didja really think I was gonna shove you away?" Max was laughing softly, kissing his skin again, and Alex managed a strained but happy laugh, wrapping his arms around Max's waist.

"I don't know what I thought," he mumbled. "I, um..." He shook his head. "Just 'ave not 'ad many people say zat to me in my life, so I...appreciate ze...um...reci...recipra...y-you returning my feelings." Shit. Looked like Max wasn't the only one who'd lost his swagger for the moment. He was stumbling over words left and right.

[MAXIMUS PETULENGRO]

Alex hugged him around his middle, and Max instinctively wrapped his own arms around Alex's neck, right hand's fingers causally buried in the golden curls. "I don't know what I thought, I, um... Just 'ave not 'ad many people say zat to me in my life, so I...appreciate ze...um...reci...recipra...y-you returning my feelings." Max rested his face against the Alex's hair, closing his eyes and letting out a deep sigh.

"Well, fuckem. I'm cooler anyhow." Max said, his voice trying to carry on it's usual tone of vague interest and super-cool-guy swag. But it didn't follow through. Instead it sounded deep meaning, and sincere. Fuck them people, who didn't see how awesome Angel was.

Max saw.

Max could see it all.

Angel was shy, in his way, and constantly cautious. As much as he claimed hedonistic lifestyle as his main prerogative, and trust the young Monsieur Fortescue certainly did enjoy feeling good, Max knew that he also enjoyed making other people happy. The way his face lit up when Aisha would pay him a compliment, or Kiddo would demand he show her how to play slaps for the thousandth time. He liked, not only to be pleased, but to please. He was sensitive, and intelligent though he tried to hide it. Not from Max, who had had a conversation of interest more than once with him, where he was left startled by the Young Man's intelligence. And, above all other things Max saw, was that Alex loved this family they had created. He would put himself on the line for the family, if need be.

Max not only loved him first.

Max respected him first.

His arms held on to Angel a bit tighter, his natural protective nature coming through. It was such a strange discovery, he found with his new family. He had never gotten close to anyone enough to realize he was the protective sort. He released Alex, offering him a small grin. He wasn't really sure what to say. This situation was too alien for Max's comfort. That was another thing... Alex had this way of throwing the usually versatile Max for a loop. Max had never been the comfort zone type. The world was his comfort zone. He loved new feels, new tastes, new smells. But here he was, all... pudding gut feeling, and while it was new, and felt kind of nice, it was also uncomfortable.

What the fuck did Kiddo call it? From some kid movie or something... Twitterpatted. Some shit.

Laying on his lump of blankets, he grinned at Alex, his eyebrow arching slightly, as a mischievous grin roused on his face. Some parts certainly felt nice, minus the discomfort, that was for certain. "Comemere." Max said, voice soft, and though it was not posed like a question, there was a certain amount of request to the mashed words.

A part of Max wished he, himself, was less guarded. In most realms he was without inhibitions. But in feelings, emotions... Max became closed and stern. Luckily, Angel seemed to see through this, seemed to be okay with out constant validation. True, Max had to make sure to do it more. Alex could never feel like he was not wanted again, this was a goal Max set for himself. But... they worked. Still, he longed to tell Alex that he saw, not a foolhardy child or an insolent brat, but a sensitive, smart, loving, tender man.

But, Max was not quite there yet. One step at a time.

The Iloveyous and J'taimes were out.

They basically got a gold star for the week.

[ALEXANDER FORTESCUE]

It had never occurred to Alex that feelings meant anything.

He remembered his first girlfriend. It had been a trite encounter. He was thirteen, then in France with some foster family that hated him and worshipped Julius, and he was looking for an outlet. She was petite, he remembered, fragile, and he hadn't much liked it, but she'd allowed him to kiss her and hold her hand. That had been enough for him when he was thirteen.

He remembered losing his virginity. He had been fourteen. It was a different girl, his age, and he had just begun to enter that stage of reckless hedonism in which he now engaged himself. He had stopped caring by then - he was never going to be good enough for Julius or any of his foster families as himself. So fuck all of them. He would do whatever the hell he wanted. What were they going to do? Scold him to death? Beat him, maybe?

For years, a part of him was driven by self-loathing.

But not now. Now he had Max, and Max, amazing, gorgeous, intelligent, wonderful Max, loved him. He had no idea why or how this was possible, but it was. And he loved it. He loved knowing he was loved. He loved their family and he loved Max and right now, fuck, he just loved everything. Everything in the world was beautiful, because he had Max, and that was what mattered to him.

"Much cooler," he agreed with a smirk.

Max was right about him. For all the hauteur and false pretenses of arrogance he put on, Alexander still had that deep and childish desire to make those he loved happy. It was a desire he had been suppressing for years now, but it was still there, and here, amongst his family, he felt as if it was...okay to be that person.

It was okay to be Alexander again. It hadn't been, for the longest time.

With a mischievous smile of his own, he trotted over to Max and his pile of blankets, eyes twinkling of their own accord. "Oui?" he singsonged, leaning in close to Max almost teasingly.

Max was a man for which Alex had such respect. Whereas Alexander had always seemed to be hiding at least part of himself, not telling the whole truth, Max always seemed so genuine. He did what he wanted, always. He was a leader and a fighter and he was so much better and stronger and cooler than Alex, but that was okay. Because Max was his.

They were better together. So much better.