I've Heard Canada's Very Tolerant [sadie]

[SCOTT PARKER]

Scott had checked and double checked and triple checked and then he had finally let himself believe that the coast was clear. He ran through the dorm room, closing every curtain and locking every door, just to make sure that there would be no surprises. He couldn't afford tohave someone just come blundering in, or looking up from the sidewalk into their third floor window and seeing anything. Well, not that he was planning on doing anything BAD, he just... he didn't want anyone to see anything about it ever, and if he kept a window open then someone could look up and see into his room, and see a reflection off one of those pieces of sheet metal that he'd picked up and things would only go South from there.

Really, Scott should have been using this tome to work on his sculpture, but he really hadn't had time or inspiration for it lately. As such, he was much more inclined to sit in front of his computer screen and flick through one of his guilty pleasures. Well.... it wasn't really a PLEASURE, but he couldn't exactly stalk his celebrity crushes when a roommate could burst in at any second and ask him why the fuck there was a half nude picture of a man on his laptop screen.

God, he still didn't really know what he was doing. He had been on and off thinking, HOPING, that he was straight for years, and yet here he always came, back to looking up pictures of Shawn Ashmore.

He wondered what normal guys did in their spare time. Normal guys like Dan. Normal, straight guys like Dan, who probably never gave Scott a second look with those gorgeous eyes, who probably didn't even think about how perfect their hair was and their body and their face and everything, and thought that any time they spent with Scott was just platonic and had no effect on him whatsoever. Yeah. Scott wondered what it would be like to live like that, without the constant thoughts that he was trying too hard to come off as masculine and that people would see through his disguise and catch him for what he really was.

Feeling particularly safe inside his room with all the precautions he had taken, he clicked on a particularly interesting google image result, showing what he could only describe as an unhealthy amount of Canadian patriotism.

[sadie0blue]

Sadie yawned as she searched the sky for some evidence that a star could be seen during the day. It was odd, actually. She could see them. It was very faint, but if she looked hard enough she could spot every single star in the sky, even make out constellations. She'd always been able to see more stars at night than anyone she knew, especially in the city. But during the day? When she was already in New York City, and every person she'd come across struggled to find even one faint little star at night? That was downright abnormal. Then again, Sadie knew there were many more abnormal things about her. Things that couldn't be blamed on impressive eyesight or luck.

Well, never one to dwell on these things, Sadie hopped up and looked again at her setting with some pleasure. She'd managed to keep the roof of her dorm building clean, comfortable, and free of drunkards that had not been invited to a star party... or at least the ones she didn't know. Refolding her chair and grabbing the six pack she'd swiped from Scottie, one beer now empty, and another halfway, Sadie made for the fire escape. She climbed down quickly, as she always did, and reached her window to find it locked, and the curtains closed. She was perplexed, but only for a moment, and fished the spare key out of her pocket. Unlocking the window, Sadie shoved the chair onto her bed first, then crawled through with ease, opening the curtains again for good measure. She pulled the beers off of the fire escape in hindsight and stored the chair back in her closet.

It was quiet, she noticed, and started to wonder if the roomies were asleep... She headed out of her room and opened every curtain she found shut with growing suspicion. This was getting a little spooky. Suddenly hearing small clicking sounds, Sadie turned to face the direction of the noise. There was a light from under the door.... Was it Scottie? Or *gulp* something else? Still carrying the beer, she snuck to the door. If it was Scottie, she could just say she wanted to drink. If it wasn't.... If it was some alien creature eating her Scottie... Well, it would make a nice bludgeoning tool.

Sneaking to the door, she made use of her spare key again, this time very quietly. Turning the door knob, her mind worked quickly to plan her attack. Eyes wide, she flung open the door so forcefully it hit the wall with a loud BANG! "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Sadie yelled her battle cry and held her hands above her head, ready to swing a six pack at a giant, slimy creature that may or may not have been hurting her best friend. What she saw was not what she expected, as delusional as her fantasies had been. Lowering her arms quickly, she approached her roomie and the image on the computer screen in a flash. "Hello, hello? Who's this now?" she said with a grin full of relief that Scott's entrails were not being munched up. "Oh!" she added, pointing to the screen then her shirt. "We match!"

if her actions don't make him squeal, her shirt will.

[SCOTT PARKER]

To be honest, it was a wonderful picture. Scott had never particularly cared about Canada all that much, or really thought about how he felt about it to be honest, but that picture right there gave him just cause to like Canada quite a bit more. Needless to say, he would be posting that on his quite secret blog, to forever be immortalized in the internet on a website that Scott hoped would never be read by anyone he actually met or knew about. Especially no one who he cared about or was friends with. There was a reason this was a guilty pleasure. He wanted it to be something that he alone remembered for the rest of his life. Something that he looked back on with regret once he had a nice wife and kids and realized that this whole thing was stupid and he could totally function as a nice, upstanding member of society just like his parents wanted. Once he realized that this was just a phase that he could work through and never go back to. He would bring this secret to his grave.

Still though, for now that was one good looking Canadian, and Scott had every intention of saving that for lat-

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Jumping in his chair and nearly out of his skin, Scott fell in a discombobulated assortment of limbs and joints to the floor, awkwardly knotted with an expression of pure horror at the sight of Sadie bursting into the room with a pack of beer and most assuredly being drawn to the computer screen for that instant.

In the matter of a single second, Scott knew that it was all over. Everything that he had built up, everything that he had told people, everything that he had told himself: gone. Just like that. Sadie may have been a ditz, but she wasn't an idiot. She would put two an two together and realize what he was and decide that she didn't want to be friends with him anymore or live with him and tell him to pack his bags because he needed to leave and then she would talk to everyone else about just how disgusting he was and what a terrible human being he was for lying to them about his horrible, horrible sexuality and then he would be homeless and friendless and abandoned just like he had been in high school and everything would come to an abrupt end.

There was no other way. The best he could hope for would be a rather quiet, shame filled exit as opposed to a violent, screaming fit.

"I'M SORRY AND I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU SOONER AND I DIDN'T MEAN TO LIE TO YOU BUT IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR ME AND I'M GUILTY ANYWAY SO PLEASE JUST DON'T YELL AT ME TOO MUCH!" He yelled/squealed that in guilt and fear really before he even had a chance to hear what she had to say. His best hope was to get a head start before she could begin the tormenting.