ignore if you wish

[enchantress]

Soooo.... is a bored Panda.

So I am going to show you guys what a bored Panda does. She makes stories! About who you ask, oh curious reader? YOU GUYS! xDD

That's right, when Panda isn't nerding it up here with you lot, she's nerding it up all by her lonesome. Now I want to state, I don't own your guys characters, and this doesn't even need to become a thread. I WAS JUST BORED. You guys can critique, say if I make one of your characters do something off or not right. You guys can comment. You guys can tell Panda to go eff herself and to leave your gosh darn characters alone, and to cease tainting them with her lame arse writing. Whatever you wish, my feelings can't get hurt. Well they can, but its very very hard.

So starring this little fiction is: Val Howard and all her cuteness, Summer Sinclair and all her awesomeness, Garrett Beare (whose p.o.v. this is coming from. Don't smite me Beckett) and all his surliness, Gretchen Beare and all her Divaness, and Abigayle Potter (hope I spelled that right, if not my apologies but its how its getting spelt here) and all her choco-momma sweetness.


Heeeere we go: ACCIDENTAL FAMILY

Okay, yeah, he was snoozing a little. But what did it matter? He owned the damn place. And Summer had front house today, so he could be in a small comfort that that was under control. Everything was fine. He could take a little cat nap (or Beare nap if you will. Better yet mini hibernation? Ohhhh!) without being in fear that the store was on fire. It wasn't like his hapless employees could see him back in his office. He was completely alo-

"Should you be sleeping?" Asked the almost chiding voice of his damned ward. He awoke with a start, clutching his chest as if to make sure it didn't jump through his chest, his black eyes falling on a aloof looking Val, whose blonde hair was combed back into a french braid today. "Doesn't seem very bossly."

"WHAT-" Garrett calmed himself, or at least quieted himself, in the event Summer came to the whelps rescue (again) and made him look like a temperamental fool (....again). "Why aren't you at the House?" Garrett's voice almost came out a hiss, and quivered with the forced cool that emitted from it.

Looking as if the answer was blatantly obvious, Val shoved her hands in her pocket and shrugged nonchalantly. "Abby said we needed to go and do some errands. She's talking to Summer."

Garrett's lip thinned. "Why aren't you with her?"

"Cause it was boring..."

Again she used that painful and imperious 'duh' voice. "Val?"

"Yeah?"

"GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!" And in a rare act of obedience, Val scurried away. Garrett followed her out, seeing Summer and Abby indeed in the front chattering away. Because that was what Garrett was paying them for. Oh wait, NO IT WASN'T. Grabbing Val by the back of the shirt as he passed by, while she got ready to plant her buttocks on his clean counter, he replaced her on to the ground (gently, so as to not receive more Summer rage then necessary) as he approached the woman. "Having fun ladies?"

His mock pleasantness did not fool either of them. "We're just talking, Garrett." Her voice had a strange mingle of disdain and waning patience, her bright doe brown eyes boring into him deeply.

He ignored the pestering melting feeling. "I'm glad I've provided you both with a job with so much down time." Musn't yell in the front. It might scare away potential, nonexistent, customers.

"Because I don-"

Val's voice piped in from behind them, her butt planted on the table Garrett stopped her from hopping on not seconds before. "'Because I don't work my tail off for you everyday Garrett Beare! Despite the crummy hours and crummier pay?" Val concerned her self with a lily as her voice turned to a deep Base that Garrett could only assume was meant to be him. "'You are free to quit at anytime Miss Sinclair. There's the door.' 'Oh you'd love it if I'd quite wouldn't you?' 'I actually might get some damned peace if you did!' 'Right cause there's nothing more peaceful than having to do all the menial labor I do! I thought you were to high on your butthole pedestal to work along with us common folk.'" With a lazy glance in their direction, the corners of Val's mouths curled ever so slightly. "The kids don't like it when Mummy and Datty fight."

"They're not fighting Valentine. They're... exercising." Abby said with good humor, giving Garrett a maternally indulgent glance. "You let them be."

"Leave who be? Gary and Summer playing Hubby n Wife again?" Garrett cringed at the sound of his elder sister, who for some ungodly reason came through the back.

"No!"

"No!"

"Totally."

"Gretchen! Don't you have a job." Garrett nearly shouted, distracting the crowd of the red tinge that began to plague his cheeks.

"Last appointment for the day just ended, I thought I might pop in-"

"Why?! Why would you think that's okay?"

"Beeeecause unlike you, your employees like me." Gretchen smiled her impish grin, looking up at the others. "Summer, Abbs, Pocket Person."

Frustrated, Garrett went to a Bleeding Heart, pruning to soothe himself. What happened to the good old days when people LEFT HIM THE HELL ALONE. Now he had... people.... always! Everywhere! His home, his store, his office! Why just the other day he found little Val doodles on his tax return papers. Not a day goes by that he doesn't hear some snarky remark from Gretchen, or relationship advice from Val (a preteen for gods sake!), or some fancy doo hicky wives tale from Abby (who insisted they were wives tales because wives knew everything), or advice on People skills from Summer that he didn't want to know BECAUSE HE JUST WANTED TO BE ALONE! "Garrett! Garrett! You're over pruning that!" Summer grabbed his hands, and instantly his back straitened and his breath was unconsciously put on hold. Damn her, jumping out on him! He was usually prepared, but when she just surprised him. Though, he was happy she did, the plant had relatively little damage. Slight, but barely noticeable. He could probably still sell it for full price.

"You know what this place needs." Well this should be good. "A gumball machine. Tell families 'Hey bring your kids here!'"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I need. More kids." Garrett grumbled under his breath, trying to fix the Bleeding Heart. This is not a playground. It's a place of business. A boutique of floral design for the Higher class of citizens in this fine city. Not a meeting ground for overweight housewives and their runny nosed children."

Val scoffed. "Yeah? Hows that workin out fer yeh?"

Rising slowly from the Bleeding Hearts, Garrett stared at her a little perplexed, a little further deterred by Summers giggle, Abby's chuckle, and Gretchen's outright laugh. "She's short, but she's got a point."

((alright, thats what I got for now. I might post others. Maybe even tonight.))

[tig]

DARCY AND ERIC MINI FIC! MALLORY MAKES A TINY LITTLE CAMEO. AS STATED IN THE TITLE: IGNORE IF YOU WISH!

Darcy Hart was at perfect ease with her life at the moment. She was passing her classes, she was in the running for Cheer Captain, her Dad had been single for about a month (a personal best since his divorce), and she had the most perfect boyfriend in the world. Who was in College no less! Swoon, and swoon again. At that very moment, he was giving Mallory Torres piano lessons. It didn't bother her, despite Mallory's dubious reputation. Eric wasn't like those other guys. He was good. And Darcy knew it would be best to encourage him in his music, just like he encouraged her to do her modeling.

A sweeping sigh escaped from her lips, as Darcy removed her glasses to enter the Fine Art's building. He was sweet, talented, with gorgeous eyes. A sympathetic ear, and nice pair of arms to hug her.

True, he had his quirks. But it was easy for Darcy to put those out of mind. As she approached the music room, she noted that lack of music emanating from it. Odd. Slowly, though she had no idea what prompted the caution, she opened the door.

Eric.

And Mallory.

Kissing.

Darcy gasped, making the tangled two look in her direction. Mallory looked annoyed at the interruption, where Eric (after shaking off his peculiar dazed look) looked at Darcy with horror. "Excuse me?" Mallory snapped. "Kinda busy here."

Ignoring the stinging in her eyes, and Eric's fish like attempts to speak, Darcy lowered her head. "Sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt." She would not cry, not til she was in her room. So she moved quickly through the halls, her heels clicking harshly on the linoleum floor.

"DARCY! WAIT!" She heard behind her, though she didn't stop. Mallory's voice became indistinct yelling as she heard Eric's footsteps catch up to her. She didn't stop, she didn't wait. Disillusioned, Darcy just kept on walking. "Darcy! Please! Stop." He ran ahead to cut her off, grabbing her by her arms. "It's not what you think."

Ignore the desperation in his voice Darcy! Ignore it! She gave a dark little laugh, trying to side step for a quick escape. "Right! You fell and she thankfully caught you with her mouth."

"I know how this looks but-"

"Let me go!"

"You have to listen to me Darcy-"

"Funny thing about that. No! I don't." Her anger shined through her bright eyes, flashing as her nostrils flared into an almost cat like snarl.

"It was Erik!" He said, grabbing her tightly to stop further escape attempts. Darcy's eyes sharpened at this, but before she could reply sarcastically he elaborated. "With a K. Erik with a K. The Phantom. He's-"

"If you're going to lie Eric, at least make it believable." She scoffed, pushing him away as gently as possible. Don't hit him, don't hit him, don't hit him was her inner mantra.

Eric grabbed for her hands, looking close to tears himself. "Darcy! I swear, I'm not lying to you!"

"You must think I'm incredibly stupid, don't you?" Darcy stormed angrily, Eric following close to her heels. "And you're right! You couldn't be more right! Cause I actually believed you could be a nice, decent, faithful guy. Because I thought you were the exact opposite of every other guy! But guess what? Turns out, much to my surprise, you're just a purse of a different brand, but the same GOD DAMN fabric!" Her eyes burned, almost blinding her.

"Darcy! You have to believe me! It was Erik! I lov-"

CRACK!

Mantra broken, Darcy hand collided hard with the unmasked side of Eric's cheek. He stopped, eyes brimming, hand clutching the point of impact. Darcy stood, shaking, tears silently running down her face. Wiping her face, regaining her dignity, she looked at him firmly. "I think we should start seeing other-

"No, Darc-"

"-people Eric. You should get back to your lesson. Mallory will be waiting." Turning on heel, she walked out of the building, wondering where the closest bathroom was to have a good cry.

It's short, and kinda bad, but gets the point across. This is basically a Darcy reaction to seeing Eric kissing another girl. Any girl. Mallory was just convenient at the moment.

[hbghost]

Jan 11, 2011 21:29:33 GMT -5 @tig said:

"Darcy! You have to believe me! It was Erik! I lov-"

CRACK!

Mantra broken, Darcy hand collided hard with the unmasked side of Eric's cheek. He stopped, eyes brimming, hand clutching the point of impact.

You're welcome.

ANYWAY. Pandabear gave me permission to rewrite the aforementioned fic from ERIC(K)'S point of view.

Again, Mallory used without permission.

(wip)

[tig]

Darcy: Age four and a half.

Despite her young age, Darcy was fairly accustomed to plane rides. For what felt like forever, Darcy would watch Marisol (Her Nanny) do cross word puzzles, watch the dull in flight movie, talk with the flight attendants who all smiled like a growling dog, eat complementary ginger cookies, and stare out the window. They were so boring! You couldn't talk to loud, because you might annoy fellow passengers. You couldn't get up and move, because you might annoy fellow passengers. You couldn't sing, or dance, or play, because you might annoy fellow passengers. It did not suit the active little girl, not one single bit!

But there was a part of Darcy who was excited. It would be the first time she had seen her Daddy since the divorce was finalized! She loved Hawaii, and liked that her Momma was so happy with her 'Special Friend' Randy, but she had missed James Hart dearly. As the flight got closer and closer to New York City, the excitement in her belly grew. She would be spending the entire summer here, and was already thinking of all the things her and her Dad could do together. They could see the Statue of Liberty. Or the Empire state building. Or go ice skating at Rockefeller (which Darcy pronounced Rockafella) Center! Or ride a horse carriage in Central Park! It would be amazing! Just her and Daddy. And Marisol.

Seeing her Father as they got off the plane, Darcy darted out of Marisol's grasp and bolted to him. "DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY!" James, smiling widely in a way that was identical to Darcy's, hoisted up his only child and hugged her tightly. "I missed you! Whattare we gonna do first? Can we go to Coney Island?!? Or to Central Park? Or-"

"I see you got that book on places in New York I sent you." James laughed good naturedly, shaking Marisol's hand quickly.

"Uh-huh!" Darcy nodded, proudly.

And then a new voice reached Darcy's ears. "Oh James, she's every bit of a doll as you made her out to be." Darcy looked for the intruder, who spoke to her Dad so familiarly. She was a tall woman, statuesque woman, with sharp features and a stern way of dressing. Looking down, she saw a boy grasping the woman's pencil skirt, watching Darcy cautiously.

"Thank you." James chuckled, not seeing the suspicious look Darcy was giving the invaders. "Darcy, this is my assistant Bianca Carmichael, and her son Benjamin." He explained, putting Darcy down. She craned her neck to get a better look at the boy, Benjamin, who watched her closely.

"Is she like your Randy?" Darcy asked brusquely, her eyebrow arching.

James blushed at the question, shaking his head. "Uh, no. No, she's not like my Randy. She keeps me on track with work."

"Ohhh. So she's like your Marisol." At this, James laughed out loud before giving a reluctant but humored nod. Bianca also laughed, though there was a bit less humor in it. Darcy gave a slightly clumsy curtsy at Bianca and Benjamin, smiling politely. "It's nice to meet you."

Bianca nodded in reply, gently pushing Benjamin forward to say hi. In a grave awkwardness, he waved. "Um. Hi."

"Are you going to be my friend?" Darcy asked, right down to business.

Blushing slightly, he shrugged. "I guess."

Darcy stepped closer to him, causing him to stiffen up. "Then I should like to kiss you." His eyes rounded, and his mouth opened to protest, but it was too late. Darcy planted a kiss on his left cheek, which he immediately wiped away in distaste. Offended at him wiping away her kiss, Darcy pushed him down.

"Ow!"

"Darcy!" James said, in the closest thing that could be compared to a scold that he seemed to manage with his daughter. She ignored her Father, exchanging rueful glances with Benjamin.

Little did they know that this would be the beginning of an enduring friendship.

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Over the next two weeks, her Father seemed completely absorbed with work, much to Darcy's chagrin. Everyday Bianca would come over, and she and James would be hard at work in his office; leaving Darcy to play with Benjamin. But the four and a half year old felt claustrophobic, despite the spacious apartment. She wanted to go out side and run around, but instead settled with bouncing around the living room. Benjamin watched, sometimes joining in, other times just sitting a coloring, answering Darcy's drill like questions.

"Whats your full name?" Darcy asked, building a fort out of the couch cushions.

"Benjamin Matthew Moore."

"I thought your Mom's name was Bianca Carmichael."

"It is. Moore is my Dad's last name."

"Oh. Where is he?"

"Mom said he went on vacation a year ago."

"Oh. My Mom's on Vacation. Where is he on vacation at?"

"I don't know." Benjamin looked up from his colorful page, confused. "I thought you were only staying until the summer."

"Yep, that's right."

"But your Mom's on vacation. Where will you live after the summer is over?"

Darcy looked at him confused. "Back with my Momma."

"But Darcy. When people go on vacation, they don't come back." Darcy considered for a moment, looking horror-struck. "My Mom says that vacation is where people go when they don't want to live up to their responsibilities and leave people who have been dutiful to them for some of the best years of their lives. That people who go on vacation are the lowest form of creatures in the whole wide world, and that they're terrible selfish people." He spoke in a knowledgeable voice, so distracted with what he was saying that he barely noticed Darcy's large blue eyes filling up with tears. When he finished what he was saying, however, he looked mortified at her reaction. "Darcy?."

"M-my M-mom-ma is never coming b-back?"

"It's okay Darcy!" Ben said, going up to her and patting her back comfortingly. "Your Dad's not going on Vacation! And when he finds out your Mom did, I bet you could live here!"

As Darcy began to cry, and Ben looked back at his as-a-matter-of-fact speech, Marisol came in. Upon seeing her charges distress, she looked panicked. "Mizz Darcy! What tiz de matter?" Her deeply accented voice inquired.

"Momma is on vacation and that means she's never coming ba-back!" Darcy sniffled pathetically, looking at ben's confused and guilt ridden face. "Cuz she doesn't want to face h-her.." She looked at Ben for help with the word.

"Responsibilities."

"THEM!" Darcy wailed, prompting Benjamin to run to get help. He returned after a moment, with James and his Mother close behind him.

"All I did was tell her about Vacation!" He insisted, looking as if he was still unsure of what he did wrong.

Bianca's face dropped, as James scooped his daughter up, letting her sob into his shoulder. She began to explain the conversation, though it was barely understandable through her thick sobs.

"James, I think I can explain..." Bianca murmured, tapping his shoulder and nudging him away. He set Darcy down, whose sobs were forming into sniffles, and followed to the other side of the room. Ben patted Darcy on the back, still a little confused as to what just took place. The adults returned shortly after.

"Alright Princess, listen to me. Your Mom is going to come back in August, and your going to live with her-"

"But-"

"Sometimes grown ups take vacations that they come back from." Darcy sniffed a few times, her face stern from concentrating. Ben also looked confused, if not a little sad.

"And this... is sometimes?" James nodded, and Darcy embraced him, tears gone. Ben, however, did not look relieved, and instead bolted down the hallway. "Benji?" Darcy said, her face shocked. Bianca also looked troubled, but her cellphone distracted her from checking up on him.

"James? It's Chris Tian, says there's been an issue with- Darcy didn't wait to find out what the issue was, and went to look for Benji. Poking her head in various rooms, she found him in hers, laying beneath her foofy Princess bed.

"Benji?"

"Go away!"

Frowning at his demand, she instead knelt down and poked her head under the bed. "You're under my bed. I can be here if I want." Seeming to have decided this to be fairly sound logic, Benji said nothing, even as she slide underneath the bed next to him. "Are you okay."

"Fine." He mumbled, sniffing a little.

"You know what? I've never been underneath here before. It's kinda cool." Darcy said, poking the wood frame intrigued. Benji shrugged, noncommittally. They laid beneath the bed in silence for a while, staring up at the wood frame above them. Twice they heard someone enter the room to check on them, though they did not know who. Though neither said so aloud, both assumed it was Marisol. After about forty five minutes, Darcy chimed up. "Wanna go color?"

"Sure."

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TWO YEARS LATER

"Higher Benji!" Darcy squealed, her wavy honey brown hair falling into her face as the swing fell backwards. Benji laughed, and obliged, pushing her as hard as he could muster. Marisol was sitting on the bench, reading a Spanish Romance Novel that she was completely absorbed in. Darcy jumped off the swing when at it's highest point, falling into the grass laughing, smudging her blue play dress and white polka dot tights in the process. Benji quickly ran to her, happy to see she was ok, pushing up his new glasses. "Want me to push you, so you can jump?"

"Naw, if I was to do that I'd break both my legs." He laughed, with good humor. "I'll leave the jumping to Darcy the Cat." Darcy grinned, running back to the swing set. However, when she got to the swing, an older boy snatched it out of her hands.

"Hey, we were playing with that!" Darcy snapped, as the boy began to sit down.

"Too bad, I'm playing with it now." He spoke gruffly, which incited little Darcy's anger.

Benji tugged on her arm, though his face showed strong disdain. "C'mon Darcy, lets go play on the mary-go-round."

"No! We were here first!" She placed her hands on her hips and planted her feet firmly in front of him, stopping him from swinging."Go away!"

The boy laughed at her, making her nostrils flare, pushing her, hard, out of the way. Darcy winced as she landed on her hindquarters. "Hey! Don't push her!"

"Or what? You'll tell your Mommy on me?"

"No. I'll push you." Benji stated, trying to keep his voice sounding brave. As the boy laughed, even harder than before, Benji felt himself get angry, and shoved the bully with all the strength he could muster. Darcy gasped as the portly kid fell to the ground, looking as shocked as Benji was. The kid inspected his scraped palm, staring at Benji like a bull who had just seen red, before rising to his feet. Feeling the bravery start to melt away, he started plucking up enough courage to finish what he started. "I told you-"

But before Benji could even finish the sentence, he felt a hard fist collide with his right eye, his glasses snapping under the pressure. Darcy lept up and jumped on the kid, who yelled in protest as she bit and pulled his hair violently. "Don't hit him! Don't you hit him!" Marisol, now in shock, as well as the boy's Mother rushed forward to get the girl off from him. "HE HIT BENJI! HE HIT BENJI! AND HE PUSHED ME! BUT HE HIT BENJI!"

"¡Oh mi Dios! Mizz Darcy, you haff to calm down!" Marisol cried out, trying to restrain the girl. Escaping her Nanny, Darcy ran up to him, undeterred by his Mother's presence, and kicked him solidly in his under region, her Mary-Jane shoe making direct impact. Marisol grabbed Darcy, and apologized hurriedly as she began dragging both Darcy and Benji away and began hailing a cab.

"Are you okay?" Darcy whispered, her pigtails loose around her flushed face.

"Yeah, my glasses are ruined though." He frowned, holding up the remains. "Did you see him though? I think he was crying."

"He hit you." Darcy said, defensively.

"No more talking for either of you! De toda la suerte putrefacta... I will be lucky if I'm not fired." The two decided to stay quiet on the way back to The James Hart Agency, though they shared discreet smiles and held hands the whole way there.

At least until they arrived.

The first to see the two was Bianca, who cried out at the state of her son. "Benjamin! What happened to you!" Before he could respond she gave a suspicious look at Darcy. It faded quickly as James entered the room.

"Darcy! Ben! What-" He looked at Marisol for an explanation, as Benji tried to wriggle out of his concerned Mothers grasp.

"Mister James, I don't know what 'appened. They were playing one moment and the next thing I know there is a little boy and Mizz Darcy is biting and sctatchin-"

"He hit Benji!" darcy yelled, as if saying it for the hundredth time. "And he pushed me. And you said that if someone hits me Daddy, that I can hit back."

"Isn't it your job to watch these children? How hard is it to make sure that some common street punk doesn't come and beat on him!" Bianca was to angry to hold up the pretense that she was overly concerned with Darcy, though it slipped past James who was distracted in his own right. "If you were in my employment I'd have you fired and deported to whatever God awful country your from!"

"Mom it wasn't Mariso-"

"Not now Benjamin!" Bianca snapped, hushing him instantly. Bianca looked expectantly at James, who rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Marisol, go on back to my office. You two... sit there and don't move. Bianca, cancel my two o' clock."

to be continued

[tig]

Okay, okay, I might be going a little nuts with these fics. But if I harped on you guys 24/7 about my various ideas, you'd all group together and stab me with a fork repeatedly. In the eyes. So, as I like my eyes unstabbed, I have another fic.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

So, this one stars Miss Darcy (who you all know has been the only cooperative character I have at the moment), the tragic Benji Moore, the intelligent November Starr, and a character spurred out of my own mind: Marianne Trinke (pronounced Treen-key). It is set after Darcy and Benji get into an argument after he disapprove of someone she decided to go on a date with. Spoiler: He was right to disapprove. Anyway, he's in November's dorm receiving her almighty owl wisdom.



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Nothing about this was okay. Not at all. Tyler would try something, that much Ben was sure. Why wouldn't he? Darcy was so... Darcy! Beautiful, funny, sweet, brave ((<- totally feels like a narcissist right here ^-^)). It made him sick, the idea of Tyler touch her thigh with his grubby, whorey, paws ((PUN)).

From her bed, November watched him paced, a face crossed between slight bemusement and interest on her pale face. She knew what ti was about. It's what it was always about. Darcy. "Alright. You're obviously upset... about something." Her voice was calm, soothing, almost therapeutic. He sat down and nodded. "You heard about Darcy's date with Tyler?"

Ben looked up, his eyes mutinous. "You kn-"

"Of course I knew." November interrupted, wanting to skip of his misdirected indignation. "I'm the girl best friend. Now that she doesn't think your gay, I'm the one she tells all the nitty gritty details too." His ears turned pink at the embarrassing memory.

"Why Tyler? He's... I mean... TYLER! He knows I like her-"

November raised her eyebrow. "Your upset that he broke the Bro Code?"

"No. Yes. I don't know. Why does she have to go with him."

November sighed, as Ben fell down on her bed pitifully. "Listen, Benny, you know I'm on board for team Denny. Or Barcy. Whatever you like the most." Ben was obviously not in the mood to smile. "But you wouldn't like a guy if he was frickin Lancelot."

Pulling his arm over his face, Ben spoke in a dull voice. "Lancelot ran off with his best friends wife. Of course I would-"

"Not the point." November snapped slightly at the interruption. "Anyways, no guy is going to live up to your standards, because you think your perfect for her. With that said, I give you this advice." She leaned down, as if to whisper into Ben's ear. "SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT!"

"OW!" Ben yelped, sitting up to escape November. "November, what the-"

"Once a week, at least, for the past year you have hunted me down seeking relationship advice for this girl that you are borderline obsessed with. 'Darcy is so pretty' or 'Darcy smells so awesome' or 'I was so close to her, I could've kissed her right there Nov'. She's completely single! Ask her out!"

"It isn't that easy!" He protested, looking put out at her impression of him. "If I ask her everything will change!"

Sighing, in a mock defeated tone, November replied: "Fine. then don't."

"Well if I don't then I stay in this stupid friends zone for the rest of my life! If she met the man of her dreams tomorrow, she'd ask me to be the Maid of Honor!" He cried out, exasperated.

"So..." November considered, putting her hand on her chin in 'the thinking man' post. "You don't want to tell her, because then everything will change. But if you don't tell her.... then nothing will change." Her face gave him an 'Are you serious' glance as he reexamined his words.

"Too put it simply yes. No one said love made sense." His tone was bitter and tragic. His phone began to ring in his pocket, causing him to jump up. When he pulled it out, his face became both pale and pink all at once. "It's her."

November was unsurprised. When they did fight, it never seemed to last long. But here he was, staring at the phone like it was the first time he had ever seen technology in his life. With a sigh that crossed with a scoff, she snatched the phone and put it on speaker phone. Darcy's voice came from the other line. "Hello?"

"H-hey." His voice suddenly sounded hoarse. "How was your Date with Tyler?"

"Fine. And you and me... yeah... we're still fighting." November had a sudden urge to clunk their heads together, really, really hard. "But I'm really freaking out right now, and I need your help."

"What's wrong?" His irritation seemed to melt instantly, and November couldn't blame him. Darcy sounded sincerely tweaked.

"Someone is in my Dad's shower."

"Could it be.. you know... your Dad?"

"Oh, hey November. Can you bring over my black scarf you borrowed. The one with the tinsel threading?"

"Oh yeah, that's right in my clos-"

"Person in your shower! Is it possible it's your Dad? Mom said they were getting back tomorrow. Maybe they got back sooner." His voice was soothing, calm, collected, but November could see an undertone of worry.

Suddenly, and awful noise appeared on the phone, mingled with a shower. Despite sounding like a group of amazon cats in heat (amazon like all woman tribe, not like South America), both November and Ben came to the silent conclusion that it was a woman singing. They heard some movement, and a door close quietly, before Darcy's voice came back online. "Yeah, that's not my Dad."

"God, I hope not." November muttered.

Ben was already getting his coat on, prompting November to follow suit. "Wait out in the Hallway, we'll be there in twenty." He ordered, hanging up the phone, and walking out the door.

"Hey! Ben, wait for me!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Darcy waited, just like she was told to, though a bit of her was offended that she had too. It was her house after all. Well, her Dad's, and technically they rented... but that wasn't the point. She shouldn't have called Benji. She should have called the police, or maybe even Tyler. True, their date hadn't turned out fantastic... but God would it have gotten under Benji's skin. She didn't, being the simple Darcy, consider why she wanted to get under Benji's skin. It was certainly a knew feeling, as she had in the past striven for his approval when it came to guys.

Though she couldn't for the life of her remember him saying one non-generic compliment about one of her previous beaus.

Odd.

She heard the ding of the elevator before she actually saw Ben and November, who were whispering ferociously at each other. All she heard was a firm: "November just drop it!" Before they fell silent. It felt weird, as Benji stood in front of her, not to hug him. She didn't like the feeling, but kept her resolve. "Hi."

"Hi."

After an awkward pause, November cleared her throat. "So... crazy lady in Darcy's Shower?"

Benji nodded, opening the door slowly and entering; the two girls following close behind him. He motioned for them to wait, and looked perturbed but compliant when they didn't listen. The woman was in the living room, apparently dusting, while listening to her iPod loud enough that they could tell it was a Lady GaGa song. "Maybe your Dad got a maid?" Benji whispered, watching the woman closely. Darcy frowned deeply. She was pretty, blond, busty. The sort of girl that gave other girls body issues.

"Maid's only look like that in dirty movies Benny." November said, seeming to have no grasp on how serious this was. Of course she did, but Novi knew how to play it cool. "Why don't we just ask her who she is."

"What if she's some evil axe murderer crazy psychopath?" Darcy hissed loudly, as the mysterious woman seemed to be attempting to do a version of the Poker Face dance.

November couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Oh yeah. Evil genius right there." She walked up to the woman bravely, tapping her gently on the shoulder.

The blond bombshell turned around, her face forming in to absolute glee, as she popped the ear phones out. "Ohmigawd! You must be Darcy! Come here!" The woman cried out, grabbing November and embracing her tightly. "It is so nice to finally meet you!"

"Oh. Um..." November's body seized up, as she slowly attempted to pry the woman away as gently as possible. "Please. Quit that." The woman released, still seeming to gush at the seems. "I'm not Darcy. I'm November Starr-"

"Ohmigawd, what a good name."

"Yeah, thanks. Um, right. Darcy is over there."

Darcy gave a slight wave to the lady, as she peered from behind Benji. Her hands clutched around his arm, and she had to stand on her tip toes to see the lady. "Should we go over there?"

"She seems harmless." Benji replied, leading her to the woman. Darcy was disgusted to find the lady prettier as they got closer. She was young, probably a year or two older than Darcy, and had a sweet face with a very large smile.

"Uh, hi."

"Wow, you are so pretty. I love that skirt. Maybe you'll let me borrow it some time." The woman said, taking Darcy by her forearms. "And you look so much like your Mom. But your Dad's cheek bones."

An awkward silence followed, as Darcy examined the faces of her comrades. Benji looked passive, like he was still assessing the situation; November's eyes were round as if to say: She's a few nuts short of an acorn tree, isn't she? "You know my parents?" Darcy said finally, unable to cope with the silence any longer.

"Well, not your Mom, personally anyway. I'm a huge fan though! You Mom was the reason I wanted to be a Model!" The stranger became momentarily nostalgic. "You're Dad and I- well..." She giggled in a sticky sweet way, that made Darcy feel ill. God, was she one of her Father's girlfriends? "Oh, where are my manners? I'm Marianne Trinke. Like Trinket, but without the 'et'."

Nausea filling her, Darcy pressed on. "So... your one of my Dad's girls?"

Marianne blushed deeply, her face turning coy. But it was a thin mask, hiding excitement. "You could say that.. She started.

Darcy felt November tap her, in a hurried sort of way. She looked at her, wondering what was the matter, and followed her gaze to Marianne's left hand.

On her ring finger.

Gram's ring.

"Why are you wearing that?" Darcy demanded, losing the polite pretense she was working so hard to keep before. November's hand clasped over her mouth, and Benji's face dropped when he realized what was the matter.

"Darcy... why don't we-"

No! None is his placating or soothing right now! "Why are you wearing that?" Darcy demanded again.

"Your Father proposed!" Marianne squealed, embracing Darcy tightly. "Isn't it wonderful? Oh! We are going to be such good frie-"

"How old are you..." No, this wasn't happening. THIS COULD NOT BE HAPPENING!

Marianne's smile faltered a little as she released Darcy from the embrace. "Eighteen and a half."

"And a whole half you say..." November said, her voice more shocked than anything else.

"Darcy-" Benji said, more urgently, trying to tug her away from the situation.

"Oh! Is this your boyfriend?" Marianne asked, her smile becoming whole once again.

All eyes fell upon the poor girl, who could not have known what she had said. Benji's expression became pained, but Darcy was far to distracted with her personal Hell to notice much. "No. Just her friend. Benjamin. Um, Darcy, can I talk to you for a moment."

Darcy gave a faint nod, seeming too dazed in her world to move, so he tugged her along to her room; November following close by. "Wow. You know, I was prepared for a lot, but not that..."

"Darcy-"

But Darcy's shocked face turned into a brimming smile. "She's obviously insane. My Father has always said that he will NEVER get married." Darcy pulled out her cell phone and started dialing her Dad's number. "I'll simply call him and clear this whole mess up up, and then put it way way way behind me."

[tig]

[tig]

CURSE YOU INSOMNIA OF DOOOOOOOOM!!!

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Darcy adored when she was paired with Benji, because he didn't seem to mind her slower pace. Not that she was stupid, though in the same hand not very bright; she simply had difficulty understanding things that held little interest to her. Her bright, blue, eyes traveled in want to her magazines, while Benji read aloud from the assigned reading.

"But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green.
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!"

His voice was very smooth as he read, his eyes looking at the page with such a focus that Darcy found herself slightly jealous. As if able to sense Darcy's stare, he looked up, his glasses fallen to the bridge of his nose. "Are you following?"

"Ummmm, Romeo is diggin on Juliet, cause she's all hot and stuff. And he's... comparing her to the moon? Who is a virgin." Darcy said, knowing all the while she sounded like a dunce. It perhaps did not help that she was curling her honey brown hair around her index finger repeatedly, or the blank stare that she got when he started reading.

Benji gave a genial smile, reaching over to show her the words on the page. "Close. He's comparing her beauty to Diana, the goddess of the moon. He's saying that she's as pretty as a goddess." Darcy gave a doubtful glance at the book before lowering her head. "Here, put your acting lessons to good use and say her lines." He chided, pushing the book in her direction.

Darcy frowned at his dig, of course with the acting thing again, and put on her most dramatic airs, putting her hand to her head in a very Gone-with-the-wind-like-fashion. "Ay me!"

Amused, Benji kept it going. "She speaks:
O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air."

Darcy gave another doubtful glance at the myriad of words Juliet was to say. Encouragingly, Benji smiled at her, pushing his glasses up again. "O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet!" She considered for a moment. "So... she doesn't want to be a Capulet anymore... cause there is beef with their families."

Benji nodded, but continued the prose, staring at Darcy oddly. "Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?" He was near whispering, which Darcy supposed was him acting.

"'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself." Her reading was not quite lacked Benji's fluidity, but he looked pleased with her none-the-less. In fact, he was staring at her, quite oddly, prompting Darcy to stare back.

"Beautiful..." He whispered, before inexplicably blushing, and looking back at the book. "Uh, what does it mean?"

"That... she loves him back. And... that she wishes that he wasn't in the family that her rents have beef with?" Darcy answered, though it came out a question. Benji nodded, and Darcy tumbled out of the bed, falling on the floor next to him. "Excellent. Break time!" She giggled, laying on the dark hard wood floor.

"If we keep taking breaks, we'll be here all night." Benji said, even as he tossed the book aside and settled on the floor next to her. They both stared at the ceiling, nudging each other from time to time, giggling or snickering (which is really the male version of giggling).

Darcy turned on her side to face him, her mercurial smile forming. The dimples set into her cheeks, giving a persona of innocence that could easily be equated with Darcy Hart. "Soo... Benji boy, we need to find you a girl."

He flinched slightly, as he did whenever she brought up dating since the revelation that he was, in fact, not gay. "We really don't."

"I've never met a guy so off put at the prospect of dating..." Darcy said, thiefing his glasses. "What's the deal? You dig someone or something." Keeping his focus on the ceiling, Ben did not reply. "OMG! You do!?!" Darcy squealed obliviously in excitement.

Stuck, Benji gave a curt nod. "Yeah. But... she's dating someone..."

"Ohhh." Darcy said, wondering in the back of her mind if the glasses made her look smarter, despite the fact that she couldn't see anything. "Doooo you looooove her?" She giggled, in a teasing voice. Benji nodded curtly again, not even thinking about it. His face looked oddly strained. "Well then steal her."

He looked at her oddly. "Wha- Darcy, you advocate... not doing that. Regularly."

"No, what I advocate is fidelity. If you tell her, and she agrees that you are the better choice, which you totally are no matter who the guy is, and she breaks up with him, that's totally okay." Darcy said, happy to be on a subject that she knew about. She had her suspicions on who this girl might be, since she found out Benji indeed liked girls. "Let me guess! You spend tons of time with her, whispering in class and whatnot. You've known her for years. She's pretty and misunderstood. Looks killer in a sweater dress-"

Benji was awestruck. "You-you know?"

Darcy gave an almost patronizing giggle. "Of course I know. I'm your best friend!"

"But... why haven't you said anything? I've been in agony... I've wanted to tell you so much-" He was truly stunned, his jaw unhinged as he sat up assessing the situation.

"I figured you'd tell me when you were ready."

"God! Darcy! I've wanted for so long to tell you how deeply I'm in love with you!" Benji said, suddenly on cloud nine.

Darcy sat up, her eyes round as saucers. "Yousaidwhatnow?"

His smile faltered. "I'm... I'm in love with you..."

"With... WITH ME?" Darcy couldn't contain her almost cruel shock, or her incredulous stare.

His glowing smile fell to one of horror as he realized that, somewhere in the conversation, there had been a misunderstanding. "Who were you talking about?"

"November, of course!" Darcy said, trying to keep her voice calm.

Benji's skin turned a faint shade of green. "Nov- no. Darcy! I'm in love with-"

"Shush! Oh gosh! Don't say that! Because if you say it again, that means you mean it and I have a boyfriend and that will change everything and I was not expecting this at all-" Darcy stopped her run on to breath, not sure how to take this news. It wasn't bad or anything. Just, unexpected. He opened his mouth again, but Darcy cut him off, afraid of what he might say. "You're my best friend! How- No! I don't want to know. I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend."

"You just got done saying that there was no guy out there better than me, Darce. And, I mean, I really didn't want it to come out like this, but I am in love with you Darcy Hart-" Benji spoke firmly, even as his heart cracked as she clasped her hand over her mouth. "You wouldn't have to change for me. You wouldn't have to take acting lessons to feel like we belong together, or french class, or tango, or anything. I love you because your this air headed, beautiful, ball of energy who-"

"Stop." Darcy said, putting her hand up to his mouth. "I'm... I'm dating Eric. And I'm very happy. And... I think we should keep doing our homework tomorrow." Her voice was near frantic, regretting as she looked into Benji's pain filled eyes.

"Darcy-"

"Go!"

Looking close to tears himself, he gathered his books silently and left the room, crushing Darcy's heart as he left. Lost and puzzled and any other synonym one could come up with, Darcy did the thing she always did when she was lost.

She called November.

The ring was unbelievably long. It went on five times, before November finally picked up, her voice sleepy on the other line. "Someone better be dead."

"Benji told me he loved me and now its all super awkward cause I thought he was talking about you and I really don't know what to do can you please come over." Darcy whined in a single breath, fighting back burning tears.

November sounded slightly less groggy, but alert. "I'll be right over."


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November nodded sympathetically as Darcy retold the plight, refilling her cup of low-fat hot cocoa as needed. Only Darcy and Benji, with their on going love trial, could find themselves in a mess like this. How humiliating for the both of them, not to mention November herself (she liked Benji, but she certainly did not like him), this confusion that was caused. Darcy had once again made an ass of herself by assuming things (you'd think she'd learn) and Benji did not follow the rule of thumb when dealing with Darcy (NEVER EVER ASSUME SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS TALKING ABOUT. EVER!). After Darcy finished her tale, and snuggled with her elephant plushie (hadn't Benji gotten that for her?), sniffing. "I shouldn't have been so mean to him."

"Darcy, he's not holding it against you. I'm sure... kinda." November bit her lip, wondering how Benji was holding up. Darcy looked in horror at November's indecision. "I'm sure he's fine. It was... a lot for both of you to take in at once." She watched her Dear Friend snuggle sadly with her stuffed animal, despite the question burning in Novi's throat.

""What if he never speaks to me again."

"I don't know if Benny could ever stop speaking to you, Darcy. Kinda goes hand in hand with that whole being in love with you thing." November wanted the question to stop burning, but it wouldn't relent. It just had to be asked. "Do you feel the same? November asked.

Darcy's eyes widened. "What?"

"Do you- love Benny?" November repeated in a careful voice.

"I have a boyfriend!"

"That wasn't the question."

Darcy was suddenly off the bed, her plushie elephant flying wildly in her hand as she spoke animatedly. "Well what kinda question is that? Of course I care about him, he's my best friend! But the last I ever contemplated him as a possible boyfriend was in second grade because he gave me his macadamia nut cookie! I mean, why couldn't he have brought this up when I was single? Why did it have to be now, when I'm with someone who really really likes me." November's mouth was slightly open in shock. Not at what Darcy said, but at what she left unsaid. That she was with someone who really likes her, but she managed to leave out her own feelings. "Don't look at me like that! This is very complicated, and those looks are not helping."

November lifted her hands in mock defeat. "I didn't say anything."

"No, but I did, right? I said some big psychological clue that let out my inner most secrets even though I have no idea what it is!" Darcy yelled, though November knew it was more at herself.

Pathetically, Darcy fell on to the bed, moaning into a pillow. November patted her back comfortingly. "You guys should just get a good nights sleep and pow wow it out tomorrow."

"I thought he meant you!" November gave Darcy a pestered look, though it was directed at the back of her head, but patted her again none-the-less.

"I know. I know."



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Ben Moore had spent the rest of the weekend locked in his apartment. It was made all the more awkward by the arrival of Mother, and her insistent questionings. Ben mostly hid in his room, but there were times when she'd catch him on the way to the bath room, or when he eventually needed to feed. He strongly considered returning to the dorms, but then his Mom would be all insulted that he didn't want to spend time with her, even though (though she was not aware herself) he had planned to spend the whole weekend at Darcy's. He felt a tap on his door, and he shaded a portrait, and lifted to see his Mom poke her head into his room.

"Benjamin? I made dinner. Wash up and get to the dining room table." She closed the door before he could question her, though his face continued in her absence. He hadn't heard the buzzer, which meant.... oh God. She cooked. Also, the dining room? They hadn't eaten there since... Great Gam-Gam Bootsie was alive. This meant only one thing... Bianca Carmichael was up to something.

Wearily Ben walked out to the table, staring horrified at what looked like severely malnourished gray steaks. She smiled at him, removing a brand new apron. What truly spawned his horror was a store bought cake sitting in a pink little box on the counter. Cake was a dangerous thing in the Carmichael-Moore household. Generally saved for when people died, were diagnosed with a terrible disease, or an awkward talk was about to commence. The sex talk had to be the worst of the bunch, with the cake entitled: 'You're changing and that's okay' where people image happy birthday in scrawling script. He sat down, dreading the worst. "Mom... did someone die."

"No." Bianca answered, putting a dish of corn in front of him.

"Is someone dying?"

Next were dinner rolls, the bottoms blacked to the point of burning Ben's nostrils. "No Ben."

"Then we need to have a talk..." He sighed, preemptive discomfort settling in his stomach.

"Well, is that so wrong, Benjamin?" Ben winced as his Mother started in on one of her guilt trips. "Me wanting to know about my sons life?"

"Mom, Mom, Mom. It's not wrong. Just. Unexpected. You always work so hard to provide for me, I don't want to take time out of your day." Ben said quickly, diffusing the issue before it actually became one. With a sheepish smile from her son, Bianca melted, ruffling his hair.

"What a sweet boy you are." She sat across from him, starting to serve up the plates. "I made your favorite! Porkchops." The piece of meat made a violent sound as it hit Ben's plate, and his stomach quenched in fear.

"Mmm. Wonderful." Ben began, trying to think of an excuse to leave the table earlier. "Soo... Hows work."

"Oh, same old same old. I swear, these young little tarts they have modeling, truly shameful. Of course I'm only the assistant. My job is to keep records. It's James who finds the talent and makes something of them." When his Mother spoke of Mr. Hart, her voice had a sweet and endeared ring to it. Ben wondered if that's how he sounded when he spoke about Darcy. "How is school going?"

"Umm. Good." Ben answered. "Me and Darcy-"

"'Darcy and I-' Bianca corrected sharply, her eyes slitting at Darcy's name.

"Right. Darcy and I, are working on a report of Romeo and Juliet. So. There's that." Ben said, his voice gentle, as he tried to saw what had once been a pork chop.

"Is Darcy being of much help? You've been here since I've been home."

Ben shifted uncomfortably. "We finished it the other night, before you and Mr. Hart got home." He lied smoothly, not giving his Mother anymore ammunition against Darcy than she already seemed to have compiled in her head. Ben loved his Mother, she was his sole provider for years, putting him through the best schooling, instilling a strong since of morals and foundation with in him. But man, did she know how to hold a grudge. Bianca Carmichael's grudge began with her and the former Mrs. Hart, Darcy's Mother. Darcy only had the misfortune of being a near replica of her Mother, something Bianca spotted early on.

His Mother was unsatisfied with the answer. "You know, that girl, is just like Jillian. Never carrying her own weight. Thinks the world is handed to her on a silver platter. And what does she have to contribute? Her looks? Bah, you saw where that lead Jillian. Right into the deep, seedy, underbelly of divorce!"

"Didn't she divorce Mr. Hart?"

"Benjamin, it is impolite to gossip." Bianca replied tartly, as Ben gnawed on a chunk of the porkchop thickly. "The point is... I know you have a... a thing for her-"

"Oh Mom!"

"Benjamin, don't talk with your mouth full." She snapped, still cutting her bites into small pieces. His Mother was a stickler for manners. "But I know. It's impossible not to, you wait on that girl hand and foot." He watched as his Mom poured herself a generous glass of wine. "Always have." She took a drink swiftly, as if to take the edge off the conversation. "Anyway, Darcia has always been, for lack of a better word, a bit of a Princess. But she is becoming so much more, and I worry about how much time you two spend together."

And here it came, the reason for the cake. Ben chewed faster so that he wouldn't choke on the chunk in his mouth, which had the consistency of pre frozen putty at this point.

"Darcy is a maneater, Benjamin."

Standing to his feet, he spit out his food carefully into his napkin, feigning that he was wiping his mouth. "Mom, can we not do this-"

His Mother was having none of that fleeing business. "She will break your heart, just like her Mother-"

"Mom! Listen, I really don't need love advice!"

"You can't let her get you Benny, because she will-"

"Mom! Just, please, stop! Okay?"

"Then why have you been locked away for the entire weekend like a recluse?"