Post by sireno on Sept 25, 2012 11:01:19 GMT -5
So, this has basically nothing to do with anything, but for my Literature class, my teacher wants us all to write an original short story, under a thousand words (because she doesn't have time for 50 novels) so she can "hear our voices" and stuffs... So even though this isn't due until the end of the semester, Mugs is done.. >_>
I'd like your input on it. I really value everything you guys have to say, so if you have criticism or encouragement for me, please, don't hesitate to tell me. I can't improve if people don't tell me I suck. <_<
Anyway, here it is! And in case you were wondering, yes, this is a real Aztec legend. Initially, my friend Lucio told me the story and it was so beautiful I nearly cried. So I decided to honor it this way. Hope you like it! Please tell me what you think!
In those days, Noe Ignacio and Aylin shared a room, as they were still young and the Hernandez’s house was small. Not much time was spent in this room, but the time that was is cherished. Cecil remembers tucking them in at night, saying prayers and leaving the hall light on.
It was one of these nights that Noe Ignacio, who was an energetic boy, sat up in bed and asked his father for a story.
“Sí, sí, a story!” Aylin had squealed, bouncing slightly on her own pillow.
It was not too late yet, and it was a Friday evening, so Cecil sat on his daughter’s bed and she nestled in next to him, black eyes attentive. Noe Ignacio had sat cross-legged on the foot of the bed, his hair mussed from the shower and somewhat overlarge pajamas hung on his slight frame.
“Have you ever heard,” Cecil had begun, speaking softly, “La Leyenda de los Volcanes?”
His children shook their heads, curious.
“Long ago, when the Aztecs were still strong, the chief of the time had a beautiful daughter. When it came time for her to marry, many young Aztec men asked for her hand. However, she had fallen in love with a young peasant man. Now, only men of a certain rank could marry a princess, and the man was poor. The chief agreed to let them join in marriage, but first the man must prove his worth as a warrior. So the young man swore his eternal love to the princess and went away to war.”
“Did he come back?” Aylin had interrupted, her five year old mind troubled by the departure of the young warrior.
“Of course he did, stupid!” her older brother scoffed.
Catching his father’s eye, he had quickly mumbled an apology.
“But he had to come back, or else that would be the end of the story!”
Cecil had quieted his son and daughter before continuing.
“The princess thought of her warrior every day while he was away. She refused all of her suitors. However, on rich man was crafty and he knew that she yearned for her warrior. The rich man lied to the princess, saying that her warrior had died in battle.”
Little Aylin had clapped her small hands to her mouth in horror at this injustice. Noe Ignacio shook his head in disgust with the rich man.
“The princess was heartbroken and wept for days. Finally, she agreed to marry the rich man. Soon she became his wife, but she was so unhappy that she never smiled. One day, the warriors returned from battle, victorious. And who was among them but her warrior! Tall and strong and proud, the warrior stood before them, finally having earned his feathers, a symbol that he was now worthy to wed his princess. The princess was outraged at the lie the rich man had told her and was ashamed that she had married another, so she ran away to hide. The warrior was also angry with the rich man and fought him for the princess’s heart. He defeated the rich man and went looking for his beloved.”
His two children had sat before him, enthralled by the tale and when he paused, Noe Ignacio had given a triumphant smile.
“See? Now he can marry the princess and live happily ever after!”
Cecil had hesitated, but threw his son a sad look.
“When the warrior finally found his princess, she was long dead. Unable to deal with the shame of her unfaithfulness, she killed herself. The warrior was heartbroken.”
Aylin’s large dark eyes had filled up with tears, and Cecil had kissed her forehead comfortingly.
“In denial about the death of his beautiful princess, the warrior picked her up and carried her into the mountain. He arranged flowers around her and stayed by her side, waiting for her to awaken. He never left her. Legend says that he remains there to this day, waiting for her. When the volcano emits smoke, it is the warrior, frustrated that he cannot wake her up. But still he waits, because true love is everlasting.”
He had looked down to find his daughter content and asleep. He had tucked her in gently, then ushered his son into bed. Noe Ignacio had yawned, crawling under the covers.
“I would go to war, to win my feathers for a girl,” he said sleepily.
Cecil smiled, kissing his nine year old’s hair.
“Maybe someday you will. Goodnight, Mijo.”
He had turned off the light and slipped out of the room. His wife had been listening in the hall and she hugged him warmly.
“Our son wants to be a warrior, huh?”
Cecil remembers this day now, his black eyes tired and sad as he gazes upon his son’s weeping fiancée. They have just received the news. Sergeant Noe Ignacio Hernandez has been declared Missing In Action. Cecil hugs his future daughter-in-law, his voice soothing but confident, absolutely sure that his son lives.
“He will return. After all, he has to earn his feathers.”
I'd like your input on it. I really value everything you guys have to say, so if you have criticism or encouragement for me, please, don't hesitate to tell me. I can't improve if people don't tell me I suck. <_<
Anyway, here it is! And in case you were wondering, yes, this is a real Aztec legend. Initially, my friend Lucio told me the story and it was so beautiful I nearly cried. So I decided to honor it this way. Hope you like it! Please tell me what you think!
In those days, Noe Ignacio and Aylin shared a room, as they were still young and the Hernandez’s house was small. Not much time was spent in this room, but the time that was is cherished. Cecil remembers tucking them in at night, saying prayers and leaving the hall light on.
It was one of these nights that Noe Ignacio, who was an energetic boy, sat up in bed and asked his father for a story.
“Sí, sí, a story!” Aylin had squealed, bouncing slightly on her own pillow.
It was not too late yet, and it was a Friday evening, so Cecil sat on his daughter’s bed and she nestled in next to him, black eyes attentive. Noe Ignacio had sat cross-legged on the foot of the bed, his hair mussed from the shower and somewhat overlarge pajamas hung on his slight frame.
“Have you ever heard,” Cecil had begun, speaking softly, “La Leyenda de los Volcanes?”
His children shook their heads, curious.
“Long ago, when the Aztecs were still strong, the chief of the time had a beautiful daughter. When it came time for her to marry, many young Aztec men asked for her hand. However, she had fallen in love with a young peasant man. Now, only men of a certain rank could marry a princess, and the man was poor. The chief agreed to let them join in marriage, but first the man must prove his worth as a warrior. So the young man swore his eternal love to the princess and went away to war.”
“Did he come back?” Aylin had interrupted, her five year old mind troubled by the departure of the young warrior.
“Of course he did, stupid!” her older brother scoffed.
Catching his father’s eye, he had quickly mumbled an apology.
“But he had to come back, or else that would be the end of the story!”
Cecil had quieted his son and daughter before continuing.
“The princess thought of her warrior every day while he was away. She refused all of her suitors. However, on rich man was crafty and he knew that she yearned for her warrior. The rich man lied to the princess, saying that her warrior had died in battle.”
Little Aylin had clapped her small hands to her mouth in horror at this injustice. Noe Ignacio shook his head in disgust with the rich man.
“The princess was heartbroken and wept for days. Finally, she agreed to marry the rich man. Soon she became his wife, but she was so unhappy that she never smiled. One day, the warriors returned from battle, victorious. And who was among them but her warrior! Tall and strong and proud, the warrior stood before them, finally having earned his feathers, a symbol that he was now worthy to wed his princess. The princess was outraged at the lie the rich man had told her and was ashamed that she had married another, so she ran away to hide. The warrior was also angry with the rich man and fought him for the princess’s heart. He defeated the rich man and went looking for his beloved.”
His two children had sat before him, enthralled by the tale and when he paused, Noe Ignacio had given a triumphant smile.
“See? Now he can marry the princess and live happily ever after!”
Cecil had hesitated, but threw his son a sad look.
“When the warrior finally found his princess, she was long dead. Unable to deal with the shame of her unfaithfulness, she killed herself. The warrior was heartbroken.”
Aylin’s large dark eyes had filled up with tears, and Cecil had kissed her forehead comfortingly.
“In denial about the death of his beautiful princess, the warrior picked her up and carried her into the mountain. He arranged flowers around her and stayed by her side, waiting for her to awaken. He never left her. Legend says that he remains there to this day, waiting for her. When the volcano emits smoke, it is the warrior, frustrated that he cannot wake her up. But still he waits, because true love is everlasting.”
He had looked down to find his daughter content and asleep. He had tucked her in gently, then ushered his son into bed. Noe Ignacio had yawned, crawling under the covers.
“I would go to war, to win my feathers for a girl,” he said sleepily.
Cecil smiled, kissing his nine year old’s hair.
“Maybe someday you will. Goodnight, Mijo.”
He had turned off the light and slipped out of the room. His wife had been listening in the hall and she hugged him warmly.
“Our son wants to be a warrior, huh?”
Cecil remembers this day now, his black eyes tired and sad as he gazes upon his son’s weeping fiancée. They have just received the news. Sergeant Noe Ignacio Hernandez has been declared Missing In Action. Cecil hugs his future daughter-in-law, his voice soothing but confident, absolutely sure that his son lives.
“He will return. After all, he has to earn his feathers.”
