Corrupt A Wish

[DAN KAPLAN]

Uh, hey guys. #sup

So, uh. #shit. This is hard to explain. Okay, basically the idea of this game is that I make a wish, and the next person to post finds an ironic way to derive bad consequences from granting the wish. Then they make their own wish.

So okay, like, #example.
Person One: I wish I were rich.
Person Two: Granted, but the money was borrowed from the Mafia and now they want their money back.

Okay so I'll start: I wish I had a photographic memory. #legitshit

[ANDROMEDA READ]

Granted, but right after you ace the test you hardly studied for, you witness a murder and testify perfectly in court and get the murderer life in prison. And then you get shot by his buddies before they can put you in witness protection. Shit, son.


I wish I could sail the seas and oceans and drink rum all day.

[/blockquote]

[DAN KAPLAN]

Granted, but those unpaid taxes build up after a while, and eventually the IRS comes after you and confiscates your boat, so you get drowned and eatin by leeches. #whoops

I wish I could have an endless supply of donuts.

[ANDROMEDA READ]

Granted, but it'll go straight to your thighs. And then you blow up. #spongebob

I wish I could travel with the Doctor.

[/blockquote]

[DAN KAPLAN]

Granted, The Doctor is actually Creepy Mike from around the corner, and he's going to do some pretty nasty things to you as soon as you climb into his "Tardis". #idontknowanythingaboutdoctorwho #whoops

I wish I could win the lottery.

[GEORGETTE PRINCETON]

Granted, but then all that money would attract vicious robbers. Or you would spend it all on booze and pills, take your pic. #icanhashtagtooguys

I wish I had x-ray vision

[SERENITY PACE]

Granted, but you'll have to se straight through my clothes. wait, was it supposed to be a bad thing?

I wish for world peace