Brisbane is Koala-T

[DAN KAPLAN]

Finally. At long last, after twenty-three hours crammed into a tiny-ass plane seat, with no internet and no means of tweeting #7thcircleofhell, they’d finally arrived at the Kaplan family condo in Brisbane. Well, it wasn’t exactly their condo. It was like this timeshare thing, where his family got it for like a sixteenth of the year or something, but who cared? One sixteenth of the year was plenty of time to enjoy paradise in the #bestplaceintheworld. And this sixteenth of the year was the best sixteenth of the year, because it was the sixteenth of the year when Dan’s birthday happened to fall.

Today was November 16th, and Dan was officially sixteen years old. #Woo. #Sweetsixteen. #gonnaspreadmywings. And all that jazz. But in all honesty, this wasn’t exactly the most exciting thing that had ever happened to him. It wasn’t like he could drive or anything. He wasn’t going to pretend that he hadn’t been hoping that on his sixteenth birthday he would like, sprout wings and transform into a giant butterfly and fly away to Arabia or wherever. But it wasn’t like he felt any different.

#Ohwell. Maybe seventeen would be the big year.

But they were finally here now, in Australia. Dan could picture his parents and siblings on the other side of the wall, squealing and squabbling as they unpacked their things, but for once, he didn’t have to throw himself full-force into the fray just to get a bed to himself. For once, by amazing coincidence, his parents had allowed him to celebrate his birthday here, in Australia, with his four best bros: Jackson, Jay, Ozzie, and Papa Mikey.

The four of them were in the hotel room they’d been given all to themselves, beginning to unpack. Dan tossed his duffel bag onto the nearest chair, kicking his toiletry bag towards the bathroom. God, this was just going to be so great. They were going to have the best time ever here. They were going to cause so much mischief #thuglife, and chill with so many kangaroosand koalas, and #wowman, he was just really really happy that they weren’t on that damned plane anymore. Even though there had been that one flight attendant that…#bowchickawowow. But still. There’d be hotter girls on the beaches in fucking Australia.

So. Two beds, he signed to Jackson, grinning. Who’s tripling up?

[CHANDLER ANTRIM]

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Chandler was a wreck.

The idea of being crammed on a plane with strangers while flying to a foreign country known for having some deadly creatures wasn't the most appealing idea. In fact, he was against going for the longest time, yet Dan just knew how to persuade him.

Chandler continuously closed his eyes to recall the memories of Dan's 'badgering.' He'd accumulated little trinkets and knick-knacks. All pertaining to something found in Australia, like a fake scorpion toy, a koala key chain, and a puzzle of the continent. Chandler dismissed most of the gifts, but he could tell how much Dan wanted the entire group to be there.

He had packed his entire life and spent money he had 'earned' to get all the necessities for the trip. Chandler had even prepared a checklist of all the things he knew he'd need, yet over the course of actually obtaining such things... He had managed to lose the list.

He lost his goddamn list.

He had managed to properly panic and revoke his promise to go... at least fifteen times. Each time Dan or one of the guys would figuratively bitch slap him back into a much calmer state of mind.

The plane landed abruptly enough to startle Chandler back from his comforting reveries. His breath caught in his throat as he gripped Dan's wrist tightly. One reassuring half smile from his best friend and Chandler was able to ease himself. The exited the plane and the five of them along with Dan's family headed off towards the hotel.

The immediate difference in air temperature and moisture was almost frightening, but Chandler kept his cool. He just needed to remind himself that it was only a temporary uncomfortableness.

Upon entering the hotel room, Chandler proceeded to drop is duffel bag and toiletry bag by the farthest wall from the door. He honestly just wanted to take a nap and pop an few Ibuprofen to ease his throbbing head. Instead, he just sat on the edge of the closest bed before looking to the other guys. He caught the tail end of Dan signing. He registered the only words... 'Who' and 'up.' If Chandler knew anything it was to fill in the blanks to the best of his ability.

"I just want the bed by the window," he announced as he fell back on his now claimed bed. The guys could bicker about who had to sleep where, but Chandler just wanted to sleep...at least for a few hours.


"Chandler talking..."

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[JACKSON HIRSCH]

Holy shit, this was actually happening.

Jackson was still in denial as he boarded a plane for the very first time (he had taken the train from Iowa to New York and back during the summer), and he was also pretty nervous. Not only was it his first time on a plane, but his first time out of the country since he was seven. His first time in the Southern freaking hemisphere. It was all so crazy that he almost forgot it was Dan's birthday, but he had given him a stupid twitter-themed birthday card he found at the dollar store, as if that could thank him enough somehow.

He kind of lost that thought as the plane had taken off, and Jackson was clutching the arms of his seat. It wasn't that he was afraid of heights - it was probably just the huge pressurized metal thing that he was in making him nervous. After they were in the air though, he was fine, and had been until they were landing. After that was a blur.

And when they walked into the hotel, he started to realize how much he already missed Hollie and nearly went to the phone, but resisted. They had just gotten there and he wasn't going to let his bros make fun of him. He wouldn't not call her, of course, but just not now. To distract himself, he looked at Dan, who was signing.

He set the worn and torn suitcases he had bought at Goodwill for two bucks a piece on the not Jay-filled bed and shrugged, singing while he talked. "I'd rathe accidentally kick one person off the bed than two, so I'll double. Who's with me?" Jackson had been having weird-ass nightmares about giants in the sky and bone crushing and bread-making and it had woken up on the floor at least three times in the past month and he didn't know why.

As to the question he asked, he guessed Ozzie or Mikey. Just a guess, either or. Not that he really cared, but he liked to be right sometimes, it kept him sane.

[/justify]

[MICHEAL "MIKEY" COLBERT]

Australia. They were going to Australia. Basically that’s what he was singing the entire time, he was getting ready to leave. On the plane, Mikey was too excited to sit still. Being of age, he decided to order a drink to you know, relax him. Flights were actually pretty cool at take off and stuff but after that they got kind of boring. Why not have little fun? Okay, that might have been Lumiere talking but it did sound pretty good. Mikey took up an Aussie accent and checked on Chan man every now and then. His poor bro looked stressed before they even got on the plane. Not to mention all the bickering, threatening and begging that happened between Chan man and the boys to get him to go on this trip. He needed to see the world! Which is precisely what they were doing. Then there was poor Jackie that hadn’t been on a plane before. Luckily though, he didn’t have much trouble after they got in the air. Mikey was certain he even saw Jackson take a little snooze.

After finishing all of his papa duties, Mikey, himself, took the time to take a nice long sleep. He didn’t actually wake up until the plane began to descend. Before he could really figure out what was going on, they were getting of the plane and off to the hotel. Mikey was still harboring a buzz and was all smiles and really cheesy Croc Hunter impersonations. May the great dude rest in piece. Ozzie’s birthday was today too. Sixteen woooo. Wow, Mikey felt old. Ah, well. That’s why he was the Papa right?

Mikey put an arm on Jackie’s shoulder and answered, “Jackie, mate. You’re with me. You couldn’t kick me off a bed even if you were Jackie Chan. I am an anchor to the mattress.” He fluffed up the dudes lion mane and took to bellyflopping onto the bed. “Oh, sweet, pillow Jesus.” he said, his voice muffled. Hotel beds and pillows were heavenly especially after a long trip sitting in coach. He turned over to actually give the Jack some room and sat up. He wasn’t in an unpacking mood. Actually he wanted to call Elle but what time was it even in the states. “Anyone know the time difference?” he asked also remember something else. There was a little something from France he’d gotten and snuck in his suitcase. What’s a great trip without a little refreshment?

He went to his suitcase and sneakily stuck the bottle in the mini fridge and then pretended like he was unpacking which he really was just looking for the little box that had the tie. It was a joke really considering he had not idea what Dan the Man would want. Mikey did make sure that it was twitter blue and said “Dan the Man” in white down the front. The little card said

“For days when you’re feeling fancy. Happy Birthday, bro. -Papa Mikey”

He grinned and got up. Mikey went over to Dan and said, “Found your gift.” He signed present (Or tried to. He was still getting the hang of that) and gave him the box. “Something else too but I’ll save for later,” Mikey added before going to sit on the bed again. Jet lag. Sacre bleu. He flopped over again and closed his eyes.