#whatacoincidence #thatawkwardmomentwhen {dan}

[ANDROMEDA READ]

Andie was 4,996 tweets in, and she hated herself for ever making a Twitter in the first place. Of course, she only had it for a few months and had alreaqdy racked up that huge number, so you couldn't say she hated it. She just... you know, she liked stalking all the celebrities and having updates on people without dealing with duckfaced selfies and 149 comments of drama or stupidity.

Of course, she couldn't of lasted without bringing a little bit of Tumblr over, so her profile picture was the "you tried" gold star: mishapocalypse edition. All of her tweets were typed like Tumblr text posts, only with a 140 character restriction. That got kind of annoying sometimes, but hey, she was used to it by now.

So there she was, sitting on a bench somewhere, typing on her phone. Tumblr mobile was a bitch and a half to deal with, another reason why she used Twitter. Well, only on her smartphone, really. If she was on the computer, it was Tumblr all the way, no question about it. But no, she wasn't in her dorm, she was on bench somewhere within the campus of Baum Academy, typing furiously as she always did no matter what her emotional state was.

andie read @andiereadsthings
guys i'm approaching my 5,000th tweet what should i do #bored

4,997. She thought about how she got started with Twitter, though it took a while to remember. Narrating her frustration with her sketchy memory, she tweeted:

andie read @andiereadsthings
i don't even remember how the actual fuck i got started with this #whateven

4,998. She needed to stop before she missed it.

andie read @andiereadsthings
i should stop before i miss it #wow #thatwouldbejustlikeyouandie

4,999. Fuck fuck fuck ufck #fuck. Then, it suddenly hit her. That's how she had made the Twitter in the first place! She was arguing with someone about how to properly hashtag; #thetwitterway or #the tumblr way. And then she remembered who exactly she was arguing with in the first place.

andie read @andiereadsthings
for my real actual 5k tweet i'd like to thank @dantheman22 for getting me to sell my soul in the first place #thanksbro

Sent. Five thousand tweets in such a short time, damn. She looked down at her phone and saw that her tweet actually didn't send, it was saved to drafts. Fucking hell, iPhone. Well, she didn't expect it to be super great, did she? One of her friends was getting rid of it to get iPhone 5 and gave it to her for free. She would have prefered Android, but if it wasn't for this, she wouldn't have a smartphone at all. Besides, she got a cute case for it.

Finally, she got the tweet sent, and went to her home screen. She started playing Bike Race and checked her phone periodically for notifications in case anyone actually cared. She didn't even notice that there was someone sitting on the bench next to her.

[/justify]

{ outfit }

[DAN KAPLAN]

Hm. So Dan’s 5,000th tweet was coming up. He wasn’t even sure what to do with himself right now. He wasn’t famous enough to like, actually be justified in doing something for his 5000th tweet, right? It wasn’t like he had fans to thank, right? Well, he kind of did #thuglife, in that he had like, twenty or thirty people who liked and retweeted each of his tweets. But it wasn’t like he had a fanbase or an instagram or a youtube account or anything.

This was just a weird situation. He really needed to come up with something cool for this tweet. Something like, subtly funny and sarcastic #easyaspie, his personal @dantheman22 style. But for the first time, probably in his life, he was having trouble fitting his emotions into 140 characters.

Like, even without the 140 character limit, how could Dan ever, in a million years, describe what Twitter had done for his life? Without making it sound ridiculous #ofcourse. And without sounding like he was one of those crazy 14-year-old fan girls who was all #OMG #TWITTERISSO #COOLBCUZ #1DISONIT #OMGGGG. Because twitter was so much more than a website to him. It always had been, it always would be.

Twitters are like onions… he began to type, then deleted it hurriedly. No, he couldn’t go for the cliché. If there was one thing in his life that he knew made him different from everyone else, including all those 14-year-old fangirls, it was his relationship with twitter. Because twitter was what had gotten him through this whole life of being strange and silent #andshit. Twitter had given a voice to a kid who’d never had one, and would never have one. Twitter had given him a voice to talk to a world full of people whose language he couldn’t speak. Twitter had given him a world where he didn’t have to ask people to make any special allowances or have special patience simply to be able to hang out with him; twitter was a world where he wasn’t different. Twitter had gotten him through this #yearwithhearingpeople bullshit, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it was what got him through the rest of his life.

#deepshitman.

dan kaplan @dantheman22
You know what they say, 4999’s the…#oh #forgetit.

Well, there went that tweet. Now he really couldn’t put it off any longer.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when… #no #no #no. He erased that one too. God, had the creativity fairy just not stopped at his crib when it was making its rounds back 16 years ago or whenever?

Suddenly, he felt his phone vibrate in his hands. Had someone texted him? He unlocked it without glancing at the lock screen, and was suddenly greeted with the all-too-familiar twitter interface.

andie read @andiereadsthings
for my real actual 5k tweet i'd like to thank @dantheman22 for getting me to sell my soul in the first place #thanksbro

Wait, she was at her 5000th tweet too? #Wait. How actually weird was that.

#Aha. Jackpot.

dan kaplan@dantheman22
@andiereadsthings is a #loser

He closed the app with a satisfied grin on his face. Perfect.

Suddenly, he felt a weird pressure on the bench next to him. He turned, finding himself face to face with…

Well. Speak of the devil.

He waved to her innocently.

outfit

[ANDROMEDA READ]

Damn, this game was hard.

Haha just kidding, she was flying through the levels like it was nobody's business, then played multiplayer when she felt like dominating someone at this. She was so great, she was destroying everybody and actually managed to get 20 wins in a row before one of her challengers had a super bike, which was totally unfair and Andie would noty pay for that shit. If she didn't pay for music, she certainly wasn't going to use her hard-earned money to buy some stupid indestructable, fast as all hell bike that was practically a poster child for cheating.

Yeah, she had almost pressed the button when her phone vibrated in her hands, and she pressed the home button to see what it could possibly be. Oh hey, a Twitter notificiation. Well, a couple, actually. Some followers had favorited her tweets, but she did actually have a response.

dan kaplan @dantheman22
@andiereadsthings is a #loser

Oh god. Dan had responded to her tweet by calling her a loser. Oh god. It was his 5000th tweet. Oh god. Her stomach lurched and she immediately set to typing.

andie read @andiereadsthings
@dantheman22 actually used his 5000th tweet to call me a loser... #OMG #ILITERALLYFEELSOSPECIALRIGHTNOW #FRIENDSHIPNOTSARCASM #THXAGAINBRO

She had to shorten the last one because of the 140 character limit, but she sure the message was clear. She was just smiling and beaming all over the place, her hand flying up her her cheek with a little flail for good measure. Dan was the #best. Suddenly she saw something out of her peripherals and turned to see who was sitting by her because wow she had not noticed that before.

....And then she started laughing uncontrollably because it was real actual Dan Kaplan sitting beside her. It was probably a good thing he couldn't hear, because literally people all the way from the other side of the courtyard were staring at her because her laughter was so obnoxious. She vaguely wondered if Ozzie could hear it from his room. Andie stopped after about a minute, realizing this moment had to be documented. Wiping the tears that had strted streaming from her face, she held herself together as she clicked the camera icon on her phone, turning it to the front-facing mode.

She put her arm around Dan, not feeling awkward at all, and smiled, waiting a few seconds until he realized she was taking a picture, then snapped it and immediatly retrieved her arm and started typing and clicking.

andie read @andiereadsthings
#thatawkwardmomentwhen you're sitting right next to the person you're tweeting #whatacoincidence pic.twitter.com/dfb42rhuji

Sent. Wow, this was great day. This moment actually made her day great instead of just average.

[/justify]

[DAN KAPLAN]

#hehe.

She was going to be so fucking pissed. God, making Andie mad was like, his guilty pleasure. And by guilty, he of course meant #notguiltyatall. Because her irritable reactions were probably the best thing ever. Especially online, via Facebook and chatroom and stuff, when he could taunt her freely and publically.

#sorrynotsorry.

Hey, he loved his bro Ozzie. It was the least he could do for his #boytoy.

He felt his phone vibrate, and pulled it out to glance.

andie read @andiereadsthings
@dantheman22 actually used his 5000th tweet to call me a loser... #OMG #ILITERALLYFEELSOSPECIALRIGHTNOW #FRIENDSHIPNOTSARCASM #THXAGAINBRO

He glanced over to send her a withering look, the kind he reserved for people who tweeted weird things at him. He cracked his knuckles and began to type another tweet, but before he’d even gotten to the first hashtag, he felt her arm around him. Before he could even register the gesture, he felt a sharp brightness pierce his eyes.

#Waitasecond…had he just been roped into her selfie?

Sure enough, the tweet buzzed on his phone a second later. #Crap, he looked so unattractive.

#Well, two could play at this game.

He smirked at Andie, then pulled a duck face in the direction of his screen, pretending to take his own selfie. As he contorted his lips into the stereotypical female #pout position, his left thumb tapped the “switch camera” button #nonchalant. Zooming in, he snagged a #incredible closeup of Andie’s left eye.

dan Kaplan @dantheman22
@andiereadsthings in all her glory pic.twitter.com/rfi34fji

He stuck out his tongue, laughing as he sent the tweet.