all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me {au}

[SERENITY PACE]

He was gone.

That four-letter word seemed so vague. He hadn't take a vacation, or moved away. But that word seemed like the best fit, as all of the thesaurus's options seemed too light-hearted. Departed. Breathless. Cadaverous. Out of one's misery. And her personal favorite: Passed Away. As if this was just something that happened as the time went by, as if he was a tumbleweed making its way into another wild western town to symbolize the heat and lifelessness of the desert. This didn't happen though the passage of time. This seemed to occur all at once, and Serenity was left alone in the desert, lifeless and omniously tranquil, which was ironic given her name. In truth, however, deserts were not lifeless. There were creatures who adapted to the environment and thrived. Silas, however, could not, because was gone. And Serenity couldn't because she didn't know how.

It was all going perfectly fine. Funny how petty the love triangle drama seemed at the time, huh? But she'd give anything in the world to get back to that time that seemed so long ago. She honestly didn't know how long it had been anymore. That night that changed everything seemed like a lifetime ago, and in a way, she guessed, it was.

It wasn't just Silas that was gone, though. It was everybody. Everybody her new pal Benvolio Montague had named were all either dea - departed, or she would never see them again. Silas was, well, he was the reason she had gotten out of bed that morning. Georgie, beautiful beautiful Georgie, was in the same boat Silas was. That had been a while before, though. She still hadn't gotten over it, but she tried not to think about it. It was too painful. And her little brother? Well he was on the run from the cops, probably with the girl that changed their world. Rowan met her and then everything turned upside down and there came Benvolio, explaning her curse and all it entailed.

Logic was out the window, but the survivor's guilt was hell.

After that last departure, she had not moved from her bed. Heaven nor hell nor William Shakespeare himself could move her. She had only gotten up today because it was his funeral. Silas' funeral. And all the while, she thought of the first time they met, and working at Pipin' Hot Tea, and her and Georgie and Silas all together and having as much fun as they could manage before Serenity had to make them stop fighting. And mostly, she thought of how that would never happen again, and her heart ached.

One truly was the loneliest number.

It wasn't like she didn't have other people, but she couldn't face them. They had to know. They had to know that it was her curse that began all this. She would read it on their faces and she would never be able to look in the mirror again without seeing the same look. Some logic that still remained told her that they would have no way of knowing, but logic had been thrown out the window.

Her black funeral clothes seemed too casual, but everything else seemed too formal. They didn't seem to fit her right, either. But she put them on and forced herself to the funeral that wouldn't have been happening if it wasn't for her. After Georgie, she refused to involve herself, and that's how all this happened.

She couldn't look anyone in the eye. She was silent, even as she cried, even as they began to lower that permanent black box into the ground with a resonating thud. It made her flinch, but she remained silent.

But that wasn't enough. She couldn't keep it in. She had to apologize - at least to one person. Just one person, and she could keep on living. She could live with the loneliness and the guilt and the sorrow. Serenity would graduate from college and become a great and honest politician and celan up a mess that she wasn't involved in. But before she did that, she had to clean up the mess she caused.

That person was sitting on a stone bench, and that person had been Silas' best friend and roommate. She sauntered over to him, no longer able to put the bounce in her step she had before. "Hey," she announced, though it sounded hoarse and pitiful. "Mind if I sit?"

[/justify]

[TYLER CARTER]

It felt all wrong. It had happened much too suddenly. And Tyler felt responsible. He should have seen this coming.

People passed by, murmuring their sympathies, tossing a handful of dirt onto the grave and patting his shoulder. He felt numb to it all. He glanced over at Roxanne Schmidt, weeping bitterly, surrounded by her three remaining sons. They held her and spoke soft words of comfort, but there was little to be done. She had lost her dear husband almost three years ago, and now her son was dead. Tyler shuffled over to her, his blue-grey eyes hollow rather than bashful as they normally were.

He hugged her tightly, trying to put every ounce of the loss he felt as well into it, so that she would know she wasn't alone.

"I'm so, so sorry.. I should have.. If I'd have known he-"

"No, Tyler. It wasn't your fault. How could you know?" The woman patted Tyler's cheek tenderly and Tyler's heart dropped to his stomach. Nodding a bit, he bowed out quickly and retired to a stone bench nearby.

How could he tell her that he had known? He had been witness to Silas' ever changing, strange, dangerous behavior. That he had tried to warn him, but his actions to hold back his friend from his rough lifestyle was weak. He wasn't even entirely sure how he had died. The story was so muddled. Tyler yearned for Silas' quick, brutal tongue more than ever. He always said what needed to be said, no matter how much it hurt.

The one balm to the nearly unbearable pain of losing his friend was that his suffering was over. Silas was with his father now. He'd never again have to feel the loss or guilt that went with his death. He was free from the bonds of life.

Tyler wiped his thumb under his eyes, catching the tears threatening to make their way down his cheeks. A girl appeared before him, dressed in black. Serenity, the miracle worker. Anyone could see the effect she had on Silas. She was the person who motivated him, who made him want to be different. She was the girl that had stolen Silas' heart. She was probably one hell of a girl.

Tyler nodded to her.

"Yeah, sure. Please do."

His eyes fell away from her and landed on the grave before him. How wrong it felt to put Silas in the ground. He was young and had a whole, wonderful life ahead of him. And not only that, but he was alone. No wife or children to be laid beside him. No legacy left. It was sad, really. Few people had known the real Silas Schmidt. So it meant a lot that Serenity had come.

"I'm.. I'm sorry. I know you two were close.."